We are eternal beings who will never be separated from our loved ones. ~ R. Craig Hogan, Ph.D.

About

Diana Young, RD, LD, GC-C

Rituals To Commemorate

Rituals are effective and meaningful when they have significance to the deceased and to the survivor. The following are merely suggestions and might be altered and enhanced to appropriately accommodate the relationship involved.

  • Prepare a favorite meal of the loved one and enjoy it as he/she did.
  • Prepare a favorite dessert – share with family or friends.
  • Watch a movie(s) enjoyed by your loved one.
  • Plant flowers, a tree or a flowering bush in…

Recommended Book by David Kessler

Visions, Trips, and Crowded Rooms: Who and What You See Before You Die

  David Kessler, expert on death and grief, takes on three uniquely shared experiences that challenge our ability to explain and fully understand the mystery of our final days. The first is “visions".  As the dying lose sight of this world, some people appear to be looking into the world to come.…

Typical responses associated with Grief

  • Reduced concentration
  • A sense of numbness
  • Disrupted sleeping patterns
  • Changed eating habits
  • Emotional Roller coaster

Have you experienced the death of a spouse in the past five years?

Have you experienced the death of a spouse in the past five years?

Are you between the ages of 18-64? If so, researchers from the University of Illinois are interested in hearing your story. We are conducting interviews with individuals who have recently lost a spouse. Interested participants will engage in an audio-recorded interview about their experiences with loss. Interviews will take approximately 45–90 minutes and will remain confidential. Participants who are U.S. citizens,…

Healthy Self Care

Developing a healthy self-care practice is an essential part of active grieving. Self-care in all its forms - physical, spiritual, intellectual and psychological - is at the very heart of purposeful grieving. As you're committed to growing through this experience of loss - of becoming more than you were before the passing of your loved one, not less - I offer you these self-care tips and ideas:

  • Surround yourself with things that help you feel…

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Healing with Pictures

I wanted to share an idea of what we can do with pictures of our loved ones. Nancy Gershman, a digital artist, creates meaningful portraits from photos, memories and stories that we think about every day. Here is a sample of her work:

DREAMSCAPE PHOTOMONTAGE: Myrtle pays homage to the memory of her twin and keeps a promise to her sister. As long as she lives she will keep her nephew - who is a trucker - safe on the road.

ORIGINAL PHOTO:

I know Nancy's work and I’ve seen how she captures the entire essence of a person and the real truth about their character, their passions and their mission in life.

What Nancy does is digest all these photos, memories and stories until they re-emerge as a holistic portrait of the person you love. You see your father, sister, or beloved poodle, thoughtfully placed into a beautiful legacy portrait for you, but also for generations to come. The end result is that her artwork makes you smile or even laugh.

For the 30 - 60 minutes you spend with her by phone, she delivers a meaningful, heartfelt fine art photomontage in the form of an 8 x 10 print (or enlargement). She can also upload the artwork so you can make something to wear or display (photoblanket, photo-purse, photo trivet, etc.) -- however you want to keep that loved one close by.

I encourage you to view the documentary on Nancy Gershman’s work.

You can visit her website: www.artforyoursake.com/healing. She has provided us with her phone number: 773-255-4677 (EST) or you can email her: nancy@artforyoursake.com

Let me know if you have any questions.

 

SPAM/Privacy/Suicide Prevention

1.  SPAM IS NOT TOLERATED ON OUR GRIEF SITE.  However, if you have a product or service that is helpful, please feel free to post information. It must be pertinent to grief counseling/helping others, for instance aromatherapy, guided imagery, healing with pictures, journaling, etc. 

2.If you have posted your full name, please go to settings and change your name. Privacy is important for all of you.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number
   1-800-273-8255

Journal Therapy and After Death Communication

Online Grief Support uses the blog feature for Journal Therapy – You can choose to make it private or public. Blog posts are a great way to express yourself on your profile page. To get started, go to your profile page and locate the "Blog Posts" module in the middle column. Click the "Add a Blog Post" link. You must join the community to take advantage of Journal Therapy – It’s free.
You can add text, links, images, and files to your blog post using the blog editor toolbar. You can also select the privacy of your blog post to allow anyone in the community to view it, just your friends in the community, or just you. Go to Settings and then click on Privacy. If you need help, I'm just an email away. - Diana

After Death Communication

Forum

LIVING ALONE CAN BE LETHAL 2 Replies

Started by Richard Rivera in Untitled Category. Last reply by Jackie cooke on Saturday.

YES, IT DOES FEEL LIKE THE FIRST DAY 3 Replies

Started by Richard Rivera in Untitled Category. Last reply by Nora Jun 16.

TO REMARRY OR NOT? 9 Replies

Started by Richard Rivera in Untitled Category. Last reply by Jean Jun 13.

WE JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE WITH OUR LOVED ONES 4 Replies

Started by Richard Rivera in Untitled Category. Last reply by Nora Jun 5.

Anyone also form the New Jersey area? 1 Reply

Started by Richard Rivera in Untitled Category. Last reply by Doug Jun 3.

Blog Posts

One down...

Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.

Posted by Bethany on June 19, 2017 at 3:45pm

National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the…

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Posted by gregory harvey on June 19, 2017 at 12:54pm

Mourning by Definition

Mourning

The outward expression of grief over a death or some other calamity. In Bible times, it was customary to mourn for a period of time. In addition to weeping loudly, mourners wore special clothes, put ashes on their head, ripped their garments, and beat their chest. Professional mourners were sometimes invited to funerals.—…

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Posted by Mike H. on June 19, 2017 at 7:12am

61 tips on the experience of Grief and how to help people through it

This is the book - you can save in pdf format

The first 3

1. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to a significant emotional loss of any kind.

2. Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior.

3. Grief is the feeling of reaching out for someone who has always been…

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Posted by Nora on June 18, 2017 at 9:49am

Just now joining to see what it's about.

Hi someone said I should consider joining a grief support group. Still a little hesitant to go to actual meetings so decided maybe online is a good idea.  I lost my husband suddenly last year in an accident. I am a survivor but its been a tough year for sure.

It's been a year but there are some days that it feels like it was just yesterday.

Posted by Constance May on June 17, 2017 at 8:00pm

Just now joining to see what it's about.

Hi someone said I should consider joining a grief support group. Still a little hesitant to go to actual meetings so decided maybe online is a good idea.  I lost my husband suddenly last year in an accident. I am a survivor but its been a tough year for sure.

It's been a year but there are some days that it feels like it was just yesterday.

Posted by Constance May on June 17, 2017 at 8:00pm

Lessons of a Late Friend - inspire3.com

I knew he didn't have long to live.



I was sitting next to him on a cold bench at Brighton beach, staring out at the ocean.







"I want to tell you some crap," he said. "Pass it on."



And then he began telling me the things he'd learned in his short time on this planet. The kind of things we all need reminding of from time to time, but we oh-so-easily forget.



He…

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Posted by Nora on June 17, 2017 at 1:43pm — 3 Comments

From the Heart

I think being alone and being lonely are two different things. I find that when I am “being alone,” I am watching television at weird hours, thinking it is normal for a single person to think about such things as family pictures on the wall; wondering what happened to the little kids in those pictures, and thinking aloud that they all made it. Being alone and making a meal require little effort. I simply choose between an avocado or peanut butter. Neither one is necessarily a…

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Posted by Mike on June 17, 2017 at 12:04pm — 1 Comment

how does it feel to be no longer a caretaker?

Ok so after so much debate around the mother issue since her caretakin was taken over by my elder sister in a very aggressive move...here we are now. I refuse to visit because meeting the conditions to visit are pathetic to say the least. I am suppose to go to a clinic and don´t correct any negligence I see after registrering and sending to police. Holy crap, hell no. Then sister was suppose to change place but never did. THen she was suppose to arrange mother to visit here and also never…

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Posted by silvia maria on June 17, 2017 at 10:17am

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

YouTube Video - Still hurts and I dont believe in Jesus but feels like my Steve is talking to me......

"IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME"



When tomorrow starts without me 

and I'm not here to see... 

If the sun should rise and find your 

eyes filled with tears for me, 



I wish so much you wouldn't…

Continue

Posted by Nora on June 16, 2017 at 7:30pm — 1 Comment

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    Latest Activity

    KIM Montgomery left a comment for Nora
    "Nora,  Our group is run through Kaiser and we meet every week.  It helps. I am actually thinking about individual counseling as well. Today was a really rough day.  I do know I have to come to work. Working from home I just want to…"
    4 hours ago
    Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Hi Nora: I have been thinking about you and getting a job. How is that going? I think I remember you saying that you had to leave your job because they did not give you enough time off when your husband died? Of course I do not want to over step…"
    4 hours ago
    Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Kim, How often do you have meetings? I found a group but they only meet eery 3 weeks. I am not sure yet. Thank you for sharing your daughter's experience. Steve's daughter was really grieving at the beginning but now she only…"
    9 hours ago
    KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Yes, that is exactly how I feel."
    10 hours ago
    KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Went to the 2nd session of support group.  Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss.  It hurts, you feel alone.  I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
    10 hours ago
    Jean replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
    "I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
    19 hours ago
    Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Kim, ladies, I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now: Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute... It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
    yesterday
    Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Thank you, Jackie. Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore. Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
    yesterday
    AnneJ replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
    yesterday
    KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early.  That was my routine.  We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work.  I looked forward to going home a little…"
    Tuesday
    Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
    Tuesday
    Nora posted a status
    "Hi, Pumpkin! 3 months without you today. Started looking for a job. I know you are proud of me now. But it is so hard without you. Love""
    Tuesday
    Nora replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before. Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
    Tuesday
    Jennifer B posted a photo
    Tuesday
    Lost with out him replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
    Tuesday
    Bethany posted a blog post

    One down...

    Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
    Monday
    gregory harvey posted a blog post

    National TV show wants to help unsolved cold cases

    I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
    Monday
    morgan replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on.  I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
    Monday
    KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Thank you all for the kind support here.  It does help.  I too feel lost at time.  This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep.  Like some one else said on here, my…"
    Monday
    Jackie cooke replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Missing my Best Friend in the group Lost My Spouse...
    "Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"
    Monday

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