Don't grieve alone; 12,500 members and growing
We are eternal beings who will never be separated from our loved ones. ~ R. Craig Hogan, Ph.D.
Have you experienced the death of a spouse in the past five years?
Are you between the ages of 18-64? If so, researchers from the University of Illinois are interested in hearing your story. We are conducting interviews with individuals who have recently lost a spouse. Interested participants will engage in an audio-recorded interview about their experiences with loss. Interviews will take approximately 45–90 minutes and will remain confidential. Participants who are U.S. citizens,…
Developing a healthy self-care practice is an essential part of active grieving. Self-care in all its forms - physical, spiritual, intellectual and psychological - is at the very heart of purposeful grieving. As you're committed to growing through this experience of loss - of becoming more than you were before the passing of your loved one, not less - I offer you these self-care tips and ideas:
When we grieve we sometimes lose our focus.
You can choose what you want to focus on. Choose! Choose what you CAN do. Honor and care for each other… Smile… Say thank you… Let the person ahead of you in line… Hold the door for someone… Help the elderly with a task… Give a compliment… Be courteous and polite… Say hello… Offer help to others… Be a good listener… Start a conversation with someone… Give someone…
No one is prepared for grief. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain.
Learn to tell your story differently. Take the victim mentality out of the story of loss you tell yourself and others and replace it with the word survivor to return to a sense of control over your…
Added by JO B
Added by JO B
I wanted to share an idea of what we can do with pictures of our loved ones. Nancy Gershman, a digital artist, creates meaningful portraits from photos, memories and stories that we think about every day. Here is a sample of her work:
DREAMSCAPE PHOTOMONTAGE: Myrtle pays homage to the memory of her twin and keeps a promise to her sister. As long as she lives she will keep her nephew - who is a trucker - safe on the road.
I know Nancy's work and I’ve seen how she captures the entire essence of a person and the real truth about their character, their passions and their mission in life.
What Nancy does is digest all these photos, memories and stories until they re-emerge as a holistic portrait of the person you love. You see your father, sister, or beloved poodle, thoughtfully placed into a beautiful legacy portrait for you, but also for generations to come. The end result is that her artwork makes you smile or even laugh.
For the 30 - 60 minutes you spend with her by phone, she delivers a meaningful, heartfelt fine art photomontage in the form of an 8 x 10 print (or enlargement). She can also upload the artwork so you can make something to wear or display (photoblanket, photo-purse, photo trivet, etc.) -- however you want to keep that loved one close by.
I encourage you to view the documentary on Nancy Gershman’s work.
Let me know if you have any questions.
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Sometimes we get so caght up ih the realms of the what ifs and the have nots and the souldn´t, couldn´t wouldn´t. And what we miss is to find joy in the small things, to smile for the right reasons, and simply EXIST. We put so much pressure in that smile to happen that the guilt or whatever problem shuts the opportunities to ENJOY some more, and allow all to go and fall in place with a little less participation and letting time for things to eventually fall into place. It´s as if we trust…Continue
Posted by silvia maria on April 26, 2017 at 9:14am
Shifting the mind to the PRESENT is not only good, but necessary. THe PRESENT is the only time that EXISTS. The FUTURE and PAST are not real. They are a construct of our feelings and experiences and projections. The past is not only facts but attributted feelings and worth of experiences. Some taught, some were good, and some we chosse to forget. No matter what bringing the past to the present and projecting forward is a CHOICE. And most of us grieving don´t FEEL it´s a choice. In fact, we…Continue
Posted by silvia maria on April 25, 2017 at 11:42am
Many of us wonder if there will ever be PEACE. It does depend upon PEACE is mentally a real possibility. Meaning, you can´t achive what you don´t believe you DESERVE. As SOULS, we don´t come to this existence in pairs, and there is a reason people walk in and out our lives in one way or another, and that is because they are no longer NEEDED, and most likely it´s not for us to decide. It´s contemplation of what is and was that will lead to this very valuable conclusion. Creating to the soul a…Continue
What does success in coping with death mean to you? Does it mean you can now walk your dog through the neighborhood and actually look up and smile as people go by? Does it mean you went and bought flowers for the oak barrel that has been neglected for the past year? Does it mean you made chocolate chip cookies for the first time in God knows how long? Or did you just go for a ride without crying or talk to your kids about something stupid and inconsequential?
There are no…Continue
Posted by Mike on April 24, 2017 at 10:40am
After so many days and nights in this internal struggle to LIVE in this body and mind that more resembled a world war, being mty body the place and my soul the victim. Only echos of hurt propagating this waves of internal constand struggle. I removed myself from a lot of things, so I could sort out what was internal and triggers and just finding peace was a hard enough JOB. And out there more crap to my crap when craptometer is already running on overload. TODAY I FEEL ALRIGHT. First day in…Continue
Posted by silvia maria on April 24, 2017 at 8:26am
I am just so god damn tired. Everything takes a ridiculous, enormous amount of energy. A simple trip to the store, getting a haircut, many times just getting out of bed in the first place. It is exhausting. The first death anniversary I went into a block. The second has felt like a second knock out punch when I'm still in the critical care unit from the first one 2 years ago. I haven't even begun to recover. Just struggle to survive. I'm fighting for a life I've given up on.
Healing is not about fighting feelings. I think the more we fight them the more neglected they become and come back worse and in ways that makes for a poor outles to say the least. These feelings cannot be neglected, and yet cannot be just discarted. THey have to be DEALTH with. In the realms of HEALING, we must recoup enough to no longer need them....to be able to let go, detach. It´s so much easier said than done. Some we think we are done with return from the dead given triggers and…Continue
Posted by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 1:18pm
I remeber asking that myself sometimes when the worry sleeps with me and is stil present in the morning. Almost like a nightmare we fight the mind off to sleep, and it´s right there in the minute we wake up. For me thats the time to put some positive input in the brain. And since heading out and about even for a dog walk can be difficult with the pains in my back, I must try something else. Medicines altering the brain, I am very allergic. Thus in the times I´ve been in bed for over 6 years…Continue
Posted by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 1:01pm
Here is something to help rescuing the mind from the negative thinking by replacing by positive thinking and ALLOW HEALING to take place. Guided meditation and music helps to bring the mindset back to the present and in the positive side of life. My favorites are from LOUISE HAY. There is more online. ENJOY!
Morning guided meditation
Posted by silvia maria on April 23, 2017 at 12:00pm
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