Thanks. My daughter is thriving. She's graduating from the UMass honor college and is engaged. She grew up with a mother who was terminally ill so it didn't seem to traumatize her. My wife and two stepchildren have had a bad time of it. I suppose the sudden loss of a father and grandfather in a murder/suicide is just a lot more traumatic than a long illness. It happened about twelve years ago, but still my 19-year-old stepson is struggling to move forward. He's dabbling in community college, won't get even a part time job, and has moved into the basement despite our five bedrooms.

Thank you Lisa x

Thank you Lisa for the support.

Thank you, I to still wait to hear from her and she. Believe what i wouldn't give to talk to her. So much has happen in the 3 1/2 weeks she has been gone. I need to tell her about it so badly. I need her oppinions. One of the last time I talk to her, I said something to make her laugh so hard. She said i was a dork and a nerd. I hope she knows she was everything in the world to. So hugs to you to and sorry for you lost as well.

Thank you! I'm sorry about your loss. I read how your sister and fiance passed away. I'm so sorry. The only thing that gives me some relief is knowing that oxicontin can no longer hurt my husband because he is at peace now. If you ever need to talk, I am here. I'm having a hard enough time getting up everyday.

Thank you for your sympathy. It means alot to me.

Thank you soooo much for my bear - it was like a big warm hug.  I wish we could be closer so my family and I could have a meal together and you could feel how much we care.  I have been taking a refresher scuba class and so have not been on the computer.  Went to the pool yesterday and passed all my skills so we are good to go diving for our 42nd wedding anniversary cruise next week.  I may be able to write some while on the ship but I am not certain.  Please have a peaceful day and consider yourself hugged.

Love,

Brenda

support@grief-and-comfort.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

Sorry I have not responded earlier. I have been working long hours for the past few days.

 You have been through so much I hope you can find some peace.  I know that greiving is like addiction.....you take it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others. Some people seem to move past things easier than others. I seem to be the one in my family who is obsessed with all aspects of the case. I am happy the others have a different attitude. I hope things get better for you soon. keep me posted on how you are doing. talk to you soon.

Thankyou Lisa for your kind words. Im sorry for your loses. Life isnt fair. How does a person go on. And for what. I look forward to nothing.Its doesnt get easier. Its a stuggle.Its been over 7 months and im still dealing with his passing, wedding and Finances.

                                                                                           Marlene

Lisa, thanks so much for the rose. I realize how much I miss this site where people can actually relate. If i mentioned to anyone else that the police questioned if there were drugs involved, they assume there was, although there was not. He really was giving the neighbor a ride (and the police found that out,) but they think anything that happens past 9 pm is drug or alchol related. I have had other family members who have had drug and alcohol addictions but he did not. I am sorry to say they will probably never treat your sisters case as a murder. They treat anyone with drug problems as such low lifes....it makes me sick. If they only knew how wide spread the problem is, probably even in their own departments.

Was your sister your only sibling? I agree with you, your mother is a sociopath!! How cold of her to not let her daughter (who just lost her fiance to murder) cry on her shoulder for a few minutes. And for her to say on a lighter note & laugh OMG!! How insensitve!! No wonder you had to cut off contact with her. I am really sorry for you for that.  Everyone needs someone who you can ALWAYS count on no matter what and that is usually a mother.

Life seems so unfair to some families. Your sister and you both suffered it sounds like. How is your nephew? did you get to see him?  Let me know how you are doing. Talk to you soon.

WOW i did not realize that was so long. sorry!

Lisa, I just read your comment about Peter's murder. I can not believe the police did not even take a statement from you.  I have not had much luck with the police in Tulsa either. Because it was 1 in the morning and in a bad neighborhood they assume it was a drug deal or something and they don't even try. My mom lived in the "bad" neighborhood and my brother spent the night with her. Her neighbor called at 1 am to see if my brother would give him a ride to pick up his wife whose car broke down. Mark was always helping people (like your fiance did,) so he did. The police have several witnesses but of course they are friends or scared of the people accused of the stabbing. We also knew it took 3 or 4 of them. Of course they will not testufy against eachother. It is all so frustrating. The main person in the stabbing spent 9 months in jail and then they had to release him, due to lack of evidense. Now the police don't even try anymore. I am obsessed with the case and I find out more info than they do......& I live in a different state. I have became facebook friends (under a false name) with the murderer and most of his friends and family. I know everything going on in that family. It really sucks to see him on happy days when things are going good for him. It is so hard not to blow it and tell the piece of shit what I really think. But I LOVE it on days when his whole world sucks.

I have been in constant contact with the DA and some with the detective. I will not stop. They have agreed to do a crimestoppers segment about the case. Now my mission is to bug the crap out of them till they follow through.  If I were you i would contact the DA's office every so often and just ask has anything came up on Peter's case? let them know it won't be forgotten. Do NOT become obsessed like I have. They past 31/2 years have not been good.  Don't let them forget, but go on with your life. You are a beautiful person and grief can not only ruin a person mentally it ages people so much. My sister and I both look 10 years older. We both still cry every day and dwell on the case. We agreed at the beginning of the year to stop crying everyday.

 I hope things get better for you and I'm gad you are on the site. I know sometimes our friends and family get sick of hearing about our loss but people here know exactly what that is like. Look at me I have been obsessing for 31/2 years and not one person has complaned.....yet, LOL. Keep me posted on how you are doing. Talk again soon.

Lisa, I just posted a comment to you somewhere but I can not find it to add something.........anyway.... I noticed your post about seeming crazy replying to so many post, that's EXACTLY what we need. I used to do that but since june 2011 I have not really had the chance. my mom had cancer and if I was not at work i was taking care of her until she passed away in nov. Since then I have been to numb to do much. Thank you for making so many people feel better. I am sorry you had to join the group but I am glad that you did.

Hi Lisa, sorry for your losses.

Loosing someone to murder is so different, painful, awful you name it. We have so much anger, frustration at everything. And I can honestly understand how you feel.

Amanda