Worst day since February 26, 2015

This past Friday (the 15th of May) was the worst day of my life since February 26, 2015- the day I watched my husband stop breathing in our driveway as the EMTs were trying to get him into the ambulance.  I can still remember everything that happened that day and every image of him turning gray is painfully engraved in my mind.  But last Friday is the day that I have been dreading since that day.  I was downstairs after having to punish our 5 year old son and could hear him crying hysterically.  I thought it was because he was punished, so I asked him why he was crying and he told me it was because he missed daddy.  At that, the tears begin falling even faster for him and all I could do was take him in my arms and try not to start crying myself.  I wanted to take his pain away.  I just kept assuring him that daddy loved him so much and would always be there to watch over us.  I even told him that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to bring him back if I could.  I continued to hug and rock him, kissing his tear streaked cheeks and letting him know that it was all going to be ok.  It has to eventually be ok, right?

 

 

Views: 130

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by morgan on May 19, 2015 at 9:01pm

Oh Trina,  I am sooo sorry.  Your little one must have just brought everything to a very very raw place for you.  I cant imagine what it must be like to have to comfort a child while inside all you are doing is asking yourself why.  How did you do it?  You must be very strong to be able to be as consoling to others while your own heart is breaking.  I feel for you.  I hope it will eventually be ok for you and your son.  What a hard, hard thing to have to do……….

Comment by Valerie on May 19, 2015 at 8:44pm

Trina,

I'm so sorry for your loss, your pour baby. You are both suffering so much. I lost my husband, who was only 45 years old. I too watched him die in the ICU when a team of doctors tried to revive him. He was my life. We did not have any kids, that must be even harder in ways. You have to have the pain yourself and comfort your child.

I can tell you that I don't think we will ever stop missing them. I do think the crushing pain does get less as time goes on. And, grieving comes in waves. The first year they say, is all of the first without them. My husband dies on January 31st. It feels like yesterday in some ways and forever ago in some ways. I just miss him so much. We were best friends.

I'm so sorry for you loss and your kid's loss. I wish you some comfort and peace.
Valerie

Comment by Vicki jefferson on May 18, 2015 at 7:57pm

hi trina.   i have the same image's of my husband. he died march 1st. he was in the house when he had his heart attack. our grandchildren were here. they ask everyday for there pepaw. they are 7,5 and 4

Latest Activity

Jennifer replied to Robin H's discussion Lost my Partner who wasn't my partner in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Welcome to the group.  I lost my partner on February 5th this year, so it's still pretty raw for me too.  Reading through your story really touched a chord with me.  Like you, I didn't think I would ever find a group like…"
yesterday
Jennifer joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
yesterday
Jennifer and William Gardener are now friends
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
Apr 11
Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
Thumbnail

My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
Apr 6
Natasha updated their profile
Apr 5
Angie Rowland joined Rita-Cecile's group
Thumbnail

LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief

Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Apr 3
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service