Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone.
The loss of my son, and feeling like i dont belong
14 mo after the death of my son, and i feel like i dont belong, Im in a different place than others around me. Things that used to hurt dont hurt. People seem different to me. When im driving in my car things are just gray. I hear people talk about relationships breaking up, and the cat dying ect... and how it is breaking their heart. I thought i have experienced the worst of the worst when it came to pain and heartache. When you lose a child you spend the rest of your life in torment, and pain. A mother has to wake everyday without that little hand to hold, even if the little hand turned into a big hand. Not having that hand to protect and to hold makes a mother really off balance. Only a mother knows of this balance. How my heart goes out to mothers who have lost a child. I feel i want to only be with mothers who are without there child, that way i belong. My world has changed so much, and i feel lonely.
Comment
-
Comment by Lisa Townsend on January 8, 2010 at 8:25am - I know what you mean when it comes to the wife part. How can a woman be so cold and have no heart. I guess the wifes of our sons dont like the husbands mothers. My daughter in law seemed to try to hurt me more after my sons death, My son died On Nov 29 2008. He died on his son second birthday. Im still not sure what killed him.
-
Comment by Ganny on January 7, 2010 at 6:12pm - My son died November 28th, 2009.. he was 37. Because he was 37 didn't stop me from loving him as if he was my baby because that's what he was to me, my child, my son, my baby. No matter how old, how big, or where he went in life, to me he was my baby. Yes he was a man doing man things. A child never stops being a Mother's baby. My loss is great, enormous, the wound is wide open, my soul weeps. His wife won't let me see the grandaughter and we were very close. I have to have $2700.00 to go to court and get grandparent rights. This I don't have, and no way to get it. So now I wait for God to do what he does and work miracles for me and this child.
-
Comment by Janice Shapiro on January 4, 2010 at 3:36pm -
hi lisa, i am so sorry for your loss. it is now 21 months since i lost my 12 year old daughter, jessy. i know where you are at in life, i know the space you are in. you are not alone, we just hadn't met each other yet. i am here in the same space with you. yes, other things dont affect us the same way anymore. we feel we dont belong. yesterday was the first time in AGES, that my family went to visit with another family, who lost their 3 year old little girl 6 months ago. i felt comfortable. i belonged. i had a good time. and i wept. and it was good. and everyone was comfortable. the hard part is having to fit in with the rest for my other children. please feel free to email me direct at: sentimentals@absamail.co.za
i also feel alone, also love to have a friend to talk to, who "wanders" in the space that i am in.
wishing you strength,
lots of love, jan
Groups
-
Traumatic, Sudden Loss
126 members
-
I love my Dad.
106 members
-
Losing Someone to Cancer
90 members
-
I miss my Mom!
81 members
-
Missing my Son or Daug…
79 members
-
Multiple Losses Group
51 members
-
I Miss My Parent(s)
37 members
-
Tattoo Memorial
36 members
-
Lost Without My Mom
29 members
-
mY sOuLmAtE, mY bEsTfRiE…
25 members
-
Caylee Marie Anthony
19 members
-
for loved ones who have…
19 members
-
Orphaned Adults
16 members
-
Losing a Sister
15 members
-
When will the ache subsi…
10 members
Latest Activity
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
@Mel &@Courtney - thx for the support. It helps coming here & reading posts by you all & others. It helps to know that I am not alone!
My brother died March 9, 2010. He was a big NASCAR fan. One Sunday a few weeks after he died, I was in bed and had been dozing off and on. The TV was on a channel that plays "whodunit" shows all day. I got up and went in to my office for a little wh…
My daughter, Lyndsey died on July 18, 2010 from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident. She was 27 years old and left behind two children. In a blink of an eye, our world was turned upside down. I'm thankful that it was fast and she didn't linge…
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
@Mel YOur such an insperation when I come and read your posts...You have made it easy on me to have the fatih I do. I know that in time things will get better.....I am so glad that your doing good...and that you are talking to your dad in your own l…
Jan --
Thank you for your words....I try everyday to forgive myself and I also tell myself not to feel guilty, but it goes back to "I should of been there".
I sometimes think I need to find a griefing place here in town where I can sit down with p…
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Back in October 2009, my 21 yr old was riding his friend's motorcycle down a residential street when he was rammed into another car. Thank God the occupants of that car were not seriously hurt but unfortunately, my son sustained a massive brain in…
Greetings Amanda. Some people just dont realize how insensitive there comments are. I dont think they delibrately want to hurt us, they dont think before they speak. He who feels it, knows it. I had a parent from one of my children's class ask me if…
sorry to hear about your mom--and i tried reaching out to fred's friends but they are all couples now and dont want me around--especially since i am so sad and depressed all the time
I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.
Many of us have lost more than one person or event.
Come share!
Useful Links
How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
FLOWER.COM - leading online florist since 1996
Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
The Gift That Freed Me To Give
A significant lesson for me has been understanding and accepting that our greatest gains often come through experiences in our lives that may be extremely painful. My father, Raphel Orval Beason, died less than four months before I was born at the age of 19 in an explosion at the Port Chicago U.S. Navy arsenal near Oakland, Calif. He was among 320 men killed on July 17, 1944, when two merchant ships blew next to...The loss of a son
Mother's Day will always be the anniversary of my son's death, no matter what date it falls on. May 9, 2010, the day I lost a piece of my heart. I have vivid memories of that day but they are brief glimpses only. He called that morning to tell me Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you! I remember being 250 miles away from my home, my other child and my family. I don't know...Try tapping, it works wonders...
I don't often recommend specific methods to help with grief. But the self-help method I'm going to tell you about - EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques - is well worth making an exception for. Basically, it involves tapping on the acupuncture points to tap into your body's own energy and healing power. If you think that sounds a little far-fetched and woo-woo, so did I. In fact, I starting doing EFT on myself for chronic...Daughter of Suicide
It has been 22 and a half years since my mother’s suicide in October 1987. I look at that number – 22 – and it startles me. It’s hard to believe that I have lived more of my life without my mother, than with her. During those first 10 years after her death I carried the heavy load of her suicide every waking moment. I struggled with my own depression and feelings of abandonment and...8 practical ways to help a grieving family
When a friend or family member experiences the death of a loved one, we quickly offer our condolences and help. Listed here are eight practical suggestions for helping a friend or family member that has just suffered a loss. 1. Offer to answer the telephone or answer emails at the family's home. Telephone calls and email can take up a considerable amount of time. Take messages and give information to friends and family. 2. Volunteer...Badge
© 2010 Created by Diana Young.
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community