Hi again mom,

I"m sitting here thinking about the weekend and torn between being glad I can be away from people and worried that I will have a panic attack while I stay in our house all alone.

I"m still praying that you are in a wonderful place, a place you deserve.

I"m still angry at the cancer doctors and think they should have made your treatments a lot less severe. Someday, I may forgive them, but right now I feel lots of anger.

I"m also angry at life in general. Why in the world are we born - just to endure this torture of watching our loved ones die? I"m not happy.

Love,

Sandra 

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Comment by Debra Waszut on June 25, 2012 at 6:41am

I think you have to realize that we have to walk this journey on earth and learn to live in a way that pleases god so that at the end of it we can be in heaven with him.  He gave a his son knowing that he would eventually die a horrible and brutal death and rejoin him in heaven at the end of that.  How much love did it take to do that?  I believe it is about our journey hear that matters. I believe that my husband walked his journey in a very beautiful and god pleasing way.  I would like to join him someday but until God decides that it is my time I will try to walk my journey in the way that will please him.  I learned this really since my husband has died 5 weeks ago.  I always did believe it but being married to him for 33 years and watching his journey and being there when he passed proved this to me.  Please don't be angry.  Try to find a good grief support group and a good church.  You will not regret it. I haven't.

Comment by David H on June 22, 2012 at 9:43pm

I agree I need to get rid of this picture.

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