I lost my father 10 months ago when I was 21. Losing a parent at this age sucks. I am going through a job search now, and he was always the person who knew a lot about that and could help me. I don't have anyone to go to now and I keep getting rejected from jobs. It makes me feel like I am not good enough or worth it. Sometimes I wish I was dead so I could be with him and not have to worry about trying to be an adult without him. 

i wish i cud run up hill wear no 1 can sea me i no its song but i wish i cud run wear no 1 will n me wear i get no slf pity 2 be person i usd 2 be coz of loss i do i wish i cud run up hill i do be me agan persn i wz yrs go if id di mak a deal if god it still be a big prb pron prob coz i thng god must realy hate me i do 

iv had so mush loss so mush bad shit why me i ye;;lllllllllllllllll i do i luv song juts herd it i did its why i did a blog on it i did  but run up hill 2 escap my…

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1. I really don't know what I would do without this site, knowing I can come on here and read  other peoples posts and know that I'm not going insane and I am indeed normal is a great help to me, I just cannot relate to people anymore, I have learnt that so called friends do not give a damn about me anymore, and im sick of people asking me "how are you, are you o.k", No I'm not…

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Your clothes remain in the wardrobe and in your drawers.  I keep thinking I should do something with them but I just can't bear to.  Some stupid part of me keeps thinking what if you come back.  Stupid I know.  I must be out of my mind.  But I don't want to let go.  I can't.  It hurts too much.

I work at a building with over a thousand employees, there is a lot of small talk waiting for elevators and walking from the parking structure. This morning an upbeat co-worker got off the phone with his parents and two stepped to catch up with me for small talk the rest of the way to the office. He started his convo with "ah parents" and I froze. I didn't know what to do or say. Long story short it gutted me and was the worst 3 minutes of my life. Immediately followed by the next worse ten…

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so kinda irritated cause I didn't notice where I was typing this long story from this morning that left me gutted. I put my whole heart into it and went to hit "share" and it's just deleted. Right now I feel like I can't even mourn my parents right. Crazy how quickly sadness can turn to anger. It's my own fault which just makes it worse cause I have nobody to blame. I'll retype the story and see if it helps me. Again. }:/

ATTENTION!!!

Let's be perfectly clear . . . spammers/spellcasters etc.  I will seek you out and prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law . . . so remove yourself now before I find you.  You are preying on people who are grieving.  Where is your heart???????

ok sorry 2 say it duz god /saton giv a sh@t or f@@@k wot hapns 2 us  i do 

2012 wz bad coz of loss

2013

2014

2014

2015

2016

lifs seasm 2 be getin so sh@t on me u cud say i feal lk im getin pusnd wors thn peados kilers in  prison u cud say not slf pity 

iv bean hear sisne 2012 evry 1 on bean grt on hear coz ill say thnx 2 evry 1 evn wen i go off on 1 

but i nead 2 vnt loeds of thngs i do 

but i cud tak all day al mth all yr…

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Found out why you died finally.  And a reason still doesnt make it any less painful, or make any sense of losing you.  My heart beats, but it is broken.  And will stay that way forever. xx

I am needing and wanting more time alone to meditate and pray to find some kind of relief from the physical pain of feeling like drowning slowly for the last 5 years.  

I am needing and wanting more time alone to meditate and pray to find some kind of relief from the physical pain of feeling like drowning slowly for the last 5 years.  

another school year is starting and when I lost Gabe in 2011 he was 15 so every school year would send me to bed crying for a couple of days. now the dates the cause profund sadness are holidays and his birthday and date of death. In the last 4 my 2 sisters have had 5 babies and love being grandmas. Gabes step dad has 2 daughters that Gabe adored and 1 has just had a baby. Gabes stepdad is over the moon and I am happy and profoundly sad. Gabe was my only child and his dad and I will never be…

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12 Weeks.. 12. Yet it still feels only yesterday i held my Dads hand and watched him slip away. What i would give to have the time back with him again. 12 will always stick in my memory.. 12 days my beautiful Father fought to stay with us, but he was given 12 weeks not 12 days :c My brother keeps saying 12 days just wasn't long enough. It wasn't. but 12 years wouldn't have been long enough either.

I wont ever forget that feeling the morning he left us.. The feeling that we had all…

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It's been 5 months and it feels no different than 5 months ago. The tears just keep coming. My husband of 20 yrs died suddenly at age 44. I was told it gets easier, but does not feel like it at all. The shock, the anger, the disbelief, the why, the hurt, the tears, the fear, everything still feels fresh. I get it all out when I see a therapist, but I want to be able to live one day without all that. I want to be able to have fun with my kids again without feeling sorry for them. They had the… Continue