Mare
  • New York, NY
  • United States
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About my Loss:
I lost my father suddenly in an accident on Dec. 4, 2015.

Mare's Blog

Building emotional walls

I have found myself to be emotionally numb and dead on the inside since I suddenly lost my dad a year ago. This has made me feel very little about others and make it hard for me to feel love. I am afraid that I will lose all of the other people in my life so I have sort of distanced myself and been unable to let new friends in. Taking with others on a personal level is painful so I have been avoiding it. I don't want to lose the people in my life that I love, just because I am not processing…

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Posted on January 17, 2017 at 9:30pm — 2 Comments

Emotional Support Dog

After my father's death, I became so emotionally unstable and I have had a lot of trouble motivating myself to do anything including being alive. My dog came to live with me 2 months ago because she gave me a sense of purpose having to take care of her and she helped me pull my self together and comfort me. I had been doing much better with her by my side and for the first time since I lost my dad I felt like I had my life together and could move forward. Today she had to go live with my mom…

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Posted on October 11, 2016 at 6:24pm — 4 Comments

Missing my Dad

I lost my father 10 months ago when I was 21. Losing a parent at this age sucks. I am going through a job search now, and he was always the person who knew a lot about that and could help me. I don't have anyone to go to now and I keep getting rejected from jobs. It makes me feel like I am not good enough or worth it. Sometimes I wish I was dead so I could be with him and not have to worry about trying to be an adult without him. 

Posted on September 27, 2016 at 3:06pm — 1 Comment

Feelings of Numbness and Emotionless

I lost my father five months ago and ever since then I have just been broken and hurting. The friends that I was counting on were not there the way they said they would be, which just hurt even more. I fell like I've just been in so much pain recently because I am not around any of the people. I can't talk to my father, my mother is too broken heated to be comforting, and I have not heard from my best friend in several weeks. I was so tired so just being in pain all the time I am…

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Posted on May 5, 2016 at 5:30pm

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 9:54am on December 26, 2016, emma said…

I hope you had a good Christmas , merry late Christmas hugs

At 11:59am on October 27, 2016, emma said…

Mare I hope everything is well and I no how you feel about the heavy grief I feel like I'm going through that for so many years , I think everyone has walls blocking them ,I no I feel like I do .... How do we get these walls down ? ... From your friend Emma

 
 
 

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bluebird and Martee are now friends
6 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Martee, I am so sorry you are also in this hell. I really have no hopeful words to offer; for me, any meaningful life ended when my husband died. I didn't survive, my body just hasn't died yet. There is no joy in life anymore, for me. That…"
6 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including…"
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch. That's what I…"
9 hours ago
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello mommas  Nice to have your words and well wishes here. We all know this journey all too well. There are days u dread as well, and on those days we all have, we just need to be very gentle with ourselves. That's something I'm…"
12 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re baby steps, one thing that has helped me is doing things that we did together, or learning to do things that she did.  It might sound sad or even heartbreaking, to do those things alone, and if it feels that way it’s not the right…"
12 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you said it perfectly and you actually helped me also God bless you and your little dog and everyone of us here it’s always nice to know that we still keep in touch after almost 5 years"
18 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Day by day. Minute by minute. Find something, anything that makes you happy and focus on it. For me it's my dog. When she is gone I will focus on something else. It could be anything. If that doesn't work, do it for your mom. Carry on for…"
18 hours ago
Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"For me it now has been three years ... three years and four months. I survived first by distracting myself from it, thrust into work and no time to think, it would only come back at evenings and nights to haunt me ... I guess what helped me was…"
yesterday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, so sorry for you loss,your posts spoke my feelings exactly on grief and pain of living. Can you please let me know how you survived all these years. Its been just over 2 weeks and each day is an eternity for me I hope I don’t…"
yesterday
Martee posted a status
"I don’t want this..."
yesterday
Martee posted a status
"Today I have been walking as a lifeless, joyless, husk for 2 weeks and 4 days. My beautiful, loving husband is gone...."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes it’s almost five and I’m still so very sad "
yesterday
Casey commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"it has been almost 6 years (my mom passed away on Feb 18, 2014) since my mom (56-year-old) passed way, it still feels like yesterday..I can't believe it..anyone here whos still here after all these years?"
yesterday
Profile IconMartee, Jerry Jenkins, Ann and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I am looking for the same light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel the same way about my dog he is a Labrador and its so so difficult to see him limp or have a bad day, he takes meds, I just want him to be comfortable.  I say to…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that…"
Sunday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm having a lot of trouble getting Krissy to eat. She has diabetes and she has a very limited diet as it is. She can only eat prescription dog food. I switched to the wet version and she was eating up, and now it's the same as before. My…"
Sunday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten replied to Katherine A Pericas Geersten's discussion Hello, a little bit about me.
"Thank you Mrs. Crawford, it means a lot to be hearing from someone else who understands. "
Sunday
Kimberly joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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