"Yes I still miss her terribly. I am still sad and angry. I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time. What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well. I still have full on bawls when the…"
I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years? Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
Rick Rilloraza is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years? Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having to live. As I have written here before I function way better than I used to for the first four years plus, but things have slowly changed. I am certainly still as broken as I've ever been and it is very easy for me to cry every day over something that will trigger my emotion. But I mainly wonder whether you are still missing your wife as much as I do my husband. Not many people come here later into the years of grieving their spouse. I don't know what happens to alot of them. There are some who still look and periodically post. I know everyone's situation is different, some have children, others have faith I have neither but I was in a 35 year marriage /55 year knowing my husband. It was deep and he was my everything. Nothing will ever be the same. But again, most recently I am just so angry that I have been left here to have to live. I want out of life and yet because I have yet to do something to myself, I am in prison. Earthly prison. Anyhow I was just curious how you came to be here after being an eight year widower and is it still hard to be left behind? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Just thought I'd ask as I guess I am always looking for answers to help myself.
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"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday.
My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine.
I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community