Rick Rilloraza
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  • Sayre, PA
  • United States
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Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
Jan 9
Rick Rilloraza is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 9

Profile Information

About Me:
8 year widower
About my Loss:
Wife had breast cancer
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At 10:18pm on January 9, 2020, morgan said…

Rick,

I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having to live.  As I have written here before  I function way better than I used to for the first four years plus, but things have slowly changed.  I am certainly still as broken as I've ever been and it is very easy for me to cry every day over something that will trigger my emotion.  But I mainly wonder whether you are still missing your wife as much as I do my husband.  Not many people come here later into the years of grieving their spouse. I don't know what happens to alot of them.  There are some who still look and periodically post.  I know everyone's situation is different, some have children, others have faith I have neither but I was in a 35 year marriage /55 year knowing my husband. It was deep and he was my everything.  Nothing will ever be the same.  But again, most recently I am just so angry that I have been left here to have to live.  I want out of life and yet because I have yet to do something to myself,  I am in prison.  Earthly prison.  Anyhow I was just curious how you came to be here after being an eight year widower and is it still hard to be left behind?  I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.  Just thought I'd ask as I guess I am always looking for answers to help myself.  

 
 
 

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eunice navarro joined Melanie Richmond's group
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Young Adult Parent Loss

For young adults 18+ who have lost a parent during this difficult, unique, phase of life.
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i love seeing him in my dreams. See More
11 hours ago
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday. My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine. I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Today, I feel it. It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April. I am overwhelmed. I am crushed. I love you, Mom. I…"
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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died. For some reason, I do not feel crushed today. But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
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