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About my Loss:
I don't even where to start or how to beginning as each day passed by, my heart seems to be frozen and numb. Everything seems so surreal, even the pain I am feeling deep inside. It's so painful that it can kill and take the life out of me (us). I've lost my wife at a very young age.
Her departure was also my departure. Since her passing, the well-thought, highly motivated, very optimistic, joyful, and everything else of me has left with her. I am nothing, nothing but a living body without a soul. My wife was everything to me. She helped me become who I am, and now that she is gone, I've become who I am not. I feel so dead and hollowed. If this is how life is like without my wonderful wife, then I'd rather be dead. Not only it has been meaningless and hopeless without her, but it has also been senseless.
I have no idea what I am doing--to live without my wife is like to live with lights but unable to see it.
I pray everyday that one day I can see my wife again--and if that day is today, I'd welcomed it. Death, I am not afraid.

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 3:37pm on May 19, 2016, Selina Mkandla said…

Hi Hollowed,

Thanks for inviting me to be friends.

I am brand new to this site.I lost my husband last year.

I feel like people in general do not appreciate how difficult loosing a spouse can be. I am hoping that I can start to mingle with people who are in a similar position as myself, understand the pain of loosing a loved one ....

At 4:30pm on April 21, 2016, Chris Wool gave Hollowed a gift
At 9:24am on March 12, 2016, Jane Lock said…

I really do not understand why we as humans are in this group and forced to go through this experience. Everyone here seems like such nice decent kind people, and it is so hard to see cruel people out there who get to live their whole lives with their partner, even hating their partner or being abusive or just being selfish until their late eighties or nineties. This was the time I was waiting for to grow old with my husband now that our kids were becoming more independant. I was counting down the days until my youngest graduated high school, then we celebrated father's day and were so so so happy, and then 2 days later, my world ended.  Why? I would have been so much better a vessel for G-d's greater purpose, brought so much more good to the world if I was not devastated and just surviving.


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Brett Bowman replied to Tamicah's discussion Worst Documented Day of my life in the group I miss my Mom!
"Tamicah, every second that passes by is one second that brings you closer to your mom. The Lord will come for you in his time. I'm waiting too. It's been five years for me and I haven't grown accustomed to being without my mom. I miss…"
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Liv replied to Liv's discussion New to this severity of grief
"Sorry for the bitterness last night. I just really needed this, and the disappointment is crushing me. Oh well. Better get used to it, I guess."
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Liv replied to Liv's discussion New to this severity of grief
"Hey all, So, Halloween is coming up. It is always my favorite holiday or time of year. Or at least it was. I don't know now. I was really looking forward to it, even after my dad passed. It was something that I could do to make me feel normal…"
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Tamicah added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!

Worst Documented Day of my life

On the 1st of July 2020, I watched my life take her last breath. My life was and in many ways still is about my mother. I have never felt more lost and empty than I do now since she left. Fast forward to the 4th of October and I attempted suicide. I was unsuccessful unfortunately. I still don't want to be here but I'm forcing myself to live because I mean I wake up everyday so clearly God isn't ready to accept me into his kingdom.Until then nothing about life feels okay. I really miss my mom.

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