I don't even where to start or how to beginning as each day passed by, my heart seems to be frozen and numb. Everything seems so surreal, even the pain I am feeling deep inside. It's so painful that it can kill and take the life out of me (us). I've lost my wife at a very young age.
Her departure was also my departure. Since her passing, the well-thought, highly motivated, very optimistic, joyful, and everything else of me has left with her. I am nothing, nothing but a living body without a soul. My wife was everything to me. She helped me become who I am, and now that she is gone, I've become who I am not. I feel so dead and hollowed. If this is how life is like without my wonderful wife, then I'd rather be dead. Not only it has been meaningless and hopeless without her, but it has also been senseless.
I have no idea what I am doing--to live without my wife is like to live with lights but unable to see it.
I pray everyday that one day I can see my wife again--and if that day is today, I'd welcomed it. Death, I am not afraid.
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I am brand new to this site.I lost my husband last year.
I feel like people in general do not appreciate how difficult loosing a spouse can be. I am hoping that I can start to mingle with people who are in a similar position as myself, understand the pain of loosing a loved one ....
I really do not understand why we as humans are in this group and forced to go through this experience. Everyone here seems like such nice decent kind people, and it is so hard to see cruel people out there who get to live their whole lives with their partner, even hating their partner or being abusive or just being selfish until their late eighties or nineties. This was the time I was waiting for to grow old with my husband now that our kids were becoming more independant. I was counting down the days until my youngest graduated high school, then we celebrated father's day and were so so so happy, and then 2 days later, my world ended. Why? I would have been so much better a vessel for G-d's greater purpose, brought so much more good to the world if I was not devastated and just surviving.
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