Traumatic loss of an only child

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Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.

Members: 32
Latest Activity: Feb 11

Discussion Forum

In the blink of an eye......gone 3 Replies

I lost my only daughter and unborn grandson. They were killed on October 17, 2016.  An 18 wheeler decided to do a u-turn on a rural county road, in the fog at 6am. My daughter never saw the trailer.…Continue

Started by Robin Nolen-Perez. Last reply by Lenny Feb 11.

Lost my daughter to an impaired driver 2 Replies

I lost my only child in 2010.  The pain feels as bad today as it did then.  It's as if no time has passed.  It may as well have been yesterday.  I try not to show my pain but I am such a radically…Continue

Started by Patty. Last reply by Patty Apr 24, 2016.

my beautiful only child, my son 6 Replies

hi my name is kim, I lost my son noe 5 , I was taking him to the doctors and he left me in my van, I screamed and screamed for him to not leave me, it was his heart  he was only 40, I died that day…Continue

Started by kim. Last reply by Vicki Sep 18, 2014.

I just lost my only child, please help me. 6 Replies

3 weeks ago tomorrow, I am looking for any help I can get. i am lost

Started by Sandra LaBonte. Last reply by kim Jun 1, 2014.

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Comment by Lenny on February 11, 2017 at 6:04pm
Thanks Connie . Unfortunately people get a tiny bit if information and add to it resulting in gossip that is not intended to hurt but it is dangerous. I'm sure many have experienced this , after a sudden traumatic death of a child. I really appreciate this forum to talk with others who understand and my heart bleeds for you all. Every story ive read here makes me cry and feel so humbled at what you have all been through. I wish I hadn't had cause to join this group but think it's good to help each other as it's sn isolated place for anyone dealing with the loss of a child alone .
Comment by Connie K on February 11, 2017 at 5:51pm

Lenny _ I am sorry your friend said that about your daughter. I have had that experience as well. People gossip, they don't know anything....

Comment by Connie K on February 11, 2017 at 5:49pm

Hello evryone

I have not posted in a while. It has been just a little over 4 years that I lost my precious only child, Daniel He was 17 when he was killed in a trachic car accident. He was a passenger in a car and the driverwas speeding on a wet road and slid across the road and slammed into the end of a retaining wall - a steel beam. He was the only one of 3 that was killed. They were barley hurt at all. Daniel was my world and had sffered greatly with Crohns disease and its side effects. After a terrible 3 years in and out of the hospital he was finally doing better, going to graduate high school that year and then this. Over the years I have tried to channel this unspeakable grief into positive things that he would be proud of. But the pain is still overwhelming. i will never be the same, I have no motivation. His life is over and our future is also gone - never any grandchildren, you all know....it is the hardest thing ever.

I am so sorry for all of your losses. Robin, I am sorry to have to welcome you to this group and it breaks my heart to read your story. Your daughter and grandchild - no words - just sending love and prayers to you all.

I am getting ready to go and visit my family on Tuesday and and packing all my masks. It is so hard to visit people now who don't have a clue of how sad I am all the time.

Comment by Lenny on February 11, 2017 at 5:37pm
Yes it is Patty. Our daughter was born on 21st August 1990. She was dring to her boyfriends home and the coroner thinks she swerved for an animal ( old highway with wildlife around). She lost control of her car . I also talked to Alex a few hours before and she said she was going to her boyfriends house after work . She was studying nursing ironically and working in aged care part time. I remember reading the coroners report and the autopsy and feeling pain physically and mentally like never before. I can't imsgine what a court case would have been like... Horrendous I would think . The details we received where bad enough . I think I have one foot either side as well and my husband attempted suicide a year later... The Pain was too much . He survived and continues to try to live for our daughters sake as that is what she would want . However we are not sure either how to do that . The other day a mother of a friend of our daughters befriended me on FB ... She lost her eldest child to a brain tumour year ago and our daughter was friends with her sibling . Anyway 'meaning well' she added if " I had any warning about what Alex was going to do" ! I was horrified as suicide was never mentioned and Alex did not kill herself . However well meaning gossip and time somehow evolved into this story because it was a single car accident ! So much false information and the affect on us is horrific. Thankyou for sharing and hope to talk more . Maybe we can all find a way through this together .
Comment by Patty on February 11, 2017 at 5:22pm

Lenny, Caitlin was born in April of 1990.  Caitlin's accident happened when she had returned to college which is about 2 hours from our home.  We had talked on the phone several hours before the accident.  The impaired driver was her friend.  This has been a nightmare.  We had to go through the trial for the driver.  I heard things there I can never forget from first responders, police and the medical examiner.  The real nightmare though is living every day without her here.  I'm sorry you never got to say goodbye.  We didn't either.  I walk around like half a person now.  I have one foot here and one in heaven.  It is definitely a very sad club to belong to.

Comment by Lenny on February 11, 2017 at 4:52pm
Sorry posted too soon! I meant that we feel the same and have also drifted from friends and family . That's why I joined this page as I had to find others that know what we are going through... It's a very tragic isolated and sad club to be in and most who have not experienced what we have all experienced can't even imagine the pain . Patty our daughters would be a similar age . Our daughter Alex was born in 1990. She died in 2013 in a single car accident when she lost co trol of her car on a nasty part of the highway ... She died at the scene and we never got to say goodbye .
Comment by Lenny on February 11, 2017 at 4:46pm
Ok I've worked out how to change from desktop view! So I can see posts now.
Patty I understand what you mean about not knowing what to do with the life we have left .
Comment by Patty on February 11, 2017 at 4:04pm

Lenny, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. My husband and I lost our 20 year old daughter, Caitlin, 6 and a half years ago in a motorcycle accident because of an impaired driver. Nothing about our life is the same anymore. It's like a switch was flipped from "before" to "after". After all this time I still can't believe it happened. I still don't know what to do with the life I have left. I have a hard time connecting with my family and most of my friends. They don't understand. How can anyone understand this?

Comment by Lenny on February 11, 2017 at 3:37pm
Hello
I found this group online . I see you all have tragically shared similar loss . My husband and and I feel very alone in our loss of our only child. Our beautiful daughter ; Alex was 23 years old and died in a car accident just over 3 years ago . Our lives are changed forever in every way. We miss her so much and feel she was robbed of the life we still get to live.
I've been reading some of your posts here and I think you are all absolutely incredible for opening up like you have in your posts . I know what it's like too and its hard to share details and feelings that are still so raw.
Comment by Patty on November 15, 2016 at 12:22pm

Kendra, I am so terribly sorry that you lost your beautiful little boy. He is absolutely precious. I know the pain you feel. I lost my daughter, the love of my life, to a drunk driver. There is no pain like this and I can't believe I am still alive. It was 6 years ago and it might as well have been yesterday. People here do understand. Don't let anyone ever tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve. A mother will ALWAYS grieve. I saw your post last night and prayed for you. I read your story and cried. Your little guy is absolutely adorable. I'm sending a hug and many prayers for peace your way.

 

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