When my son passed away on January 26, 2013 my world stopped. I love and miss him so much and I do not know how to get past this anger and pain. You see my son was in Federal Prison and that is where he died at the age of 24. I still have no answers, I have nothing. Justin was my best friend and if it is possible to have a child as a soul mate he was it. I am the one that turned him in and ultimately feel like I sent him to his death. Justin was my first born and only son. If I could have one wish that would be to see and talk to him again to tell him how sorry I am and how much I love him. He is a good young man just made some bad choices in his life and I thought I was doing the right thing but turns out I wasn't. I have so much anger that it scares me at times. My faith is gone as I wonder how can someone do this. I lost my parents a couple of years ago 10 days apart. My dad died from cancer (I took care of him at home til he took his last breath) and I found my mom dead 10 days later and now this. my moms b-day is in Jan & my son died in Jan, my dad February and March my mom and it is also my dads & son b-day month. I often wonder who is next and will it be April? Not sure I can or want to do this anymore. I am so lost in this world, most of the time I do not know if I am coming or going. My life and self are forever changed. I miss the 3 most important people in my life more than my own. 

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I feel the same way you do. I feel no one cares and have already moved on. It is a struggle everyday to stay on this earth. My son and I always said we are in this together and if something happens to one of us the other is right behind. What in the hell am I still doing here? I feel most will judge my son for the mistakes he made and for the fact they say he died from an excessive amount of cocaine (bullshit is what I say). I had another coroner read the report and he does not believe that is what he died from either. I do not have the money to try and find a lawyer as I keep getting blown off by prison and hospital well everyone. No buddy understands my pain or anger. I feel your pain totally and you know ur son better than anyone. I hope like hell his girlfriend suffers for letting you believe that he shot himself. Sorry if that is harsh but I speak my mind
Yes I can and will join the ones that you shared the link to. I will also let you know when I do and will soon. How I got someone else was I looked online and found a retired coroner by the last name Keller and we talked for a bit and I faxed him a copy. My way of thinking at times is a little screwed up but for the most part I nor anyone else has a right to judge anyone for their faults or mistakes. What happened to ur son is should I say fucked up and my feeling is our kids are gone so the least these assholes can do is tell the truth. I sent many letters to inmates that knew my son and wouldn't you know they don't want to be known as a rat. My son deserves the best and I as his mother deserve to know what happened.

I KNOW IS IS DIFFICULT  AND TOUGHH BUT YOU CAN NOT BRING THEM BACK BUT THEY ARE STILL WITH US.WE CAN NOT SEE THEM BUT THEY SEE US.I LOST MY SOUL MATE IN OCTOBER OF LAST YEAR DURING A HOME INVASION I WAS WOUNDED AND NEAR DEATH BUT HE WAS SHOT IN THE HEART AND DIED,I CRY EVERY DAY BUT  HE WILL NEVER COME BACK.I NEVER PRAYED BEFORE AND PRAYER IS A GOOD START AND PRAYERS ARE POWERFUL.I GO TO A SUPPORT GROUP IN MY AREA.TRY TO FINF ONE IN YOUR AREAI WILL PRAY FOR YOU KARI.YOU ARE NOT LOST BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS LOST BUT NOW I ACCEPT THE REALITY THAT I AM ALONE THEY SEE US AND WANT US TO  CONTINUE AND BESIDES WE ALL HAVE A GUARDIAN ANGEL LOKKING OVER US.MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU STANLEY

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