When my dad died 7 months ago i didn't really allow myself to grieve properly and i just got back to work and going out with my friends, and drinking alot. now i look back and can't believe how much time has passed. I feel like i want to stop everything so that i don't get any further away from when it happened. I want to be able to break down and take some time to deal with this but i feel like i should have done it 7 months ago, and now the world around has moved on and it's like im not allowed to now. My family, although laid back, are also very practical, especially my mum (who doesn't live with us) . Sometimes i feel like i want to act out and smash a plate or something but it feels like she will tell me off, which is ridiculous. But i don't really blame her because she doesn't know how to act as her parents are still alive and she just doesn't know what to say to help us. I just really wish my dad was here because he would crack a joke and make everything ok again

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Comment by Lorenza Trujillo on November 16, 2009 at 6:51pm
You know everyone grieves differently and in their own way. When my dad passed away in 2003, I wanted nothing more than to follow along with him. My father was the only one I had to talk , to at the time, who in his eyes I never did no wrong. Well, it took me years, therapists, meds, and alot of bandages, but I was able to have an ok time without feeling guilty. My mom is just like yours, only difference is her parents both passed away when she was a small child. I don't know when things will be okay for you, just stop and ask yourself what would my dad say? or what would my dad think? I am now dealing with the same circumstances with my own 11 year old daughter. My husband passed away on October 4, 2009. I have yet to come out of denial. Once I do, I am so afraid of what I will become or react to my loss. Sorry for your loss and just take it day by day. That is all you can do. Good Luck, Lorenza
Comment by Katherine Ellis on November 4, 2009 at 3:28am
sorry it took me so long to write to you. i'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost mine over 10 yrs ago and still miss him dearly. speaking from experience I know that you have to stop right now and do your grieving. when our daughter died I was so busy making sure everyone else was okay I forgot to grieve. It took 4 years for it to catch up on me and then it slamed me in the face hard. I've had to go on medications and am see a counselor. Do your homework now or it will be worse if you put it off or hold it in. Take care. I'll be praying for you. God Bless

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