This is the second Thanksgiving without my mother and I am not looking forward to it.  I just learned that my brother and his wife are having the family Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday night since they are spending the actual Thanksgiving Day with her family.  My Dad decided to spend the holiday on a cruise with his girlfriend rather than with his children, which I am very upset about.  I think of Thanksgiving as a family holiday and I feel like my family is falling apart.  My ex husband invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with him and his family and our son.  I don't know if I want to go.  I don't want him feeling sorry for me!

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Comment by Melissa Broome on November 19, 2011 at 2:59am

Hi IIana,

Sorry for your loss. I know we don't know each other,,But I'm thinking maybe you should go. I mean being at home alone will suck..Thinking about your mom, and you family not getting together. I think it was nice of your ex to invite you. This will be my first Thanksgiving without my mom and I'm not looking forward to it. But I'm having it here at my house we normally do it at my husbands moms but just too many memories with my mom on Holidays I'm not ready. We just moved here for months ago. My mom been gone 7 months.

Big hugs to you

Melissa

Comment by Laura Krause on November 19, 2011 at 2:41am

Ilana

My mom died 4 months ago, so this will be the first Thanksgiving without her. I wasnt sure what we were going to do. Mom, my daughter Teddi and I always fixed Thanksgiving dinner at mom's house. Luckily a close friend invited us to her house. I think you should go to your ex husbands. It might not be that he feels sorry for you, just that he knows you miss your mom. I hope you get through the day ok. I know its still gonna be hard for me, even at Brigid's  house.  Take care, Laura

Comment by Cynthia Horacek on November 17, 2011 at 11:23am

Dear llana -

I can understand how you must feel.  This is the second Thanksgiving with my husband; he died Nov. 12 last year.  My daughter (and her now husband then boyfriend) had planned to go to Denmark to visit my son in law's cousin, and after  my husband died, I told her to go; that Dad would have wanted her to go.  So she did, and spread some of his ashes on a beach there.  But I didn't "do" Thanksgiving last year, and I'm not this year.  For one thing, that particular daughter lives in NYC and I'm in CA; my parents are too old to bother with it, and my other daughter and her family are going out of town to have Thanksgiving with friends, and to be honest, it's not like anyone I know invited me to join them.  But I am so sorry for your loss, and having your dad go away, when it's your mom you lost must be double hard.  Do something nice for yourself!  Remember your mom in a way that you think she would like to be honored, and hang in there.

 

 

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