My mother died of cancer, dad had affair during her sickness, now dad has a son with new gf.

My mum died in July from ovary cancer.


She was diagonozed Stage 3 ovary cancer last year May.


She fought hard, and showed some good signs after her treatment last year. Late last year, my Dad confessed he had an affair and his gf was pregnant with a boy.


Mum collapsed afterwards.. Dad started to run from home- gf house. He looked after his gf during the last two months of pregnancy, during this time, my mum worsened. I tried to work things out, but was unable to talk my mum out of the sadness she was in, nor was I able to encourage her to fight her cancer... I personaily was in bad shape, and was unable to cope with the fact that my GREAT Dad was an asshole afterall..


She said to me and Dad, the day the boy arrives in this world will be day she dies.


She died 2 months after the boy was born. She was hospitalized for 2 months, 24 hour care...cancer had developed, was in her blood, and then everywhere..her brain was filled with big chunks of cancer, she was unable to talk in the last month of her life.


The only contact was through her left hand, where she had some control.. she would squeeze my hand whenever i went to her, the doctor said, she lost most of her eyesight, so she recognized people through voices.


I massaged her nearly 2 hours every time i went. i would stay up at night and talk to her, it was unbearable.


Dad went to the hospital often as well, we did not talk much. I tried to avoid him as much as possible.


On the 16th, i found mum in critical condition. I phoned Dad immediatily. He didnt realize how severe things were and said it was normal for her to have "bad times". My husband turned up as soon as i called him. I was alone with mum for 3 hours before anyone came to me. I had a very bad feeling..


I went to dinner with mu husband. at 9 o'clock, the caretaker and a friends of my mum's called me. Mum had really high blood pressure..


She died the next day.


Its been a few months since my mums death. I finally had the caurage to see the gf and the boy.


We had dinner with aunts and uncles last night at my parents house.


the gf was younger than me.


the boy is actually my "brother"..


everthing went well. i smiled and chatted, asked the gf about the baby boy etc.


Afterwards, when i went home. I suddenly felt "betrail"...tears flooded me.


I fully understand the necessity of Dad finding another person. Yet, no matter how hard i try, the grief within me is still there...I feel guilty of not being a stronger daughter and supporting my mum when she needed me. I feel sad about life and how things turned out.I feel its even harder for me to judge from right and wrong.


My Dad is an asshole, yet i want him to be happy.


I am learning to forgive and forget. Its really a tough lesson!



Views: 891


You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by lynn on October 8, 2015 at 8:32pm

sometimes its hard to forgive and forget. But, like God has been trying to teach us..sometimes, letting go of the anger and carry on with life is more important than hating each other.. i am not over the situation yet, but i do believe, time will tell and then one day, i will love my dad like before, or at least forgive him for what he did.

Comment by David H on October 5, 2015 at 9:37pm

Your dad is a cold hearted bastard let that be said.I stood by my dying wife in a hospital until she passed away.She was mean and gave all her stuff and money to her son.I would never forgive him

Comment by David H on October 4, 2015 at 8:49pm

your dad was cold and only God will judge hime for what he did .Its a horrible to witness a loved one dying Your a good person for visting with his GF and son .I would never forgive him

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"miss mom still num sinse 5/4/21 now mom gon  did i do anyy thng bad for her to go i no it wz her ti, 2 go  iv no 1 famlys got onw livs "
13 hours ago
Valerie Marsh is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Profile IconCatherine Hines, Elena M. Felipe and Sara joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
April Samaras is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 18
Profile IconJessie Bryant, Jill Rokosz and Jean joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 17
Alex Menchaca posted photos
Sep 14
Profile IconAlex Menchaca and Isabell joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 14
Profile IconJayd and Jose Alwine joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 10

© 2021   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service