I lost my best friend 3.5 years ago. we met in high school and were together for 18 years. We could never be open about our love. She was married for 10 years and has a son. In spite of this our love was strong and genuine. This selfless pure love comes once in a lifetime. Now that i have lost her my world has changed...i dont know who i am and what i want from life.
So many regrets...
The worst part is that i cannot talk to anyone about this here. no one will be able to understand my loss. For them she was just my "best friend" but for me the love of my life.

I am 38 and I don't have friends (she was my person. never felt the need for anyone else) and each time i even think of going out there to make new ones i just dont have the motivation for it. Feel very lonely at times but still cannot bring myself to do anything about it.

Views: 90


You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Alma P on August 4, 2020 at 7:22am


Regrets... I have them too. I met a man in 2011. We were friends for years. I was in love with him. Yet, I never took the chance to further it. I thought I had all kind of time. I thought I was being patient. Then... He committed suicide last december 2019. Every day, there are moments when I feel regret for not doing something different.. at this time... or that time... I often wonder if I could have changed the outcome if I would have just... Yet, I will never know. 

I too have shut myself away from the physical world. I spill my words out onto cyber space. At least here, I know everyone is going through similar situations and can understand me better. 

So when I read your message, I got a similar feeling in my story as well. My condolences for your loss... may our light bring warmth to theirs. 

Comment by Sara on July 17, 2020 at 12:04pm

I am sorry for your loss and sorry for the circumstances.

I feel alone in my grief as well, not to compare my situation to yours. But I think that a lot of people feel alone in a time of grieving. Even though people show compassion and you might even be surrounded by people that were affected by this too. But still, you are alone with your own personal grief. No one completely understands the way you feel about it. 

I hope it made you feel a little bit better to be able to share the love between you two on here. It sounds beautiful. I have never known a selfless love like that. But I can't help thinking, that she would not want you to be unhappy. I know it is difficult. But it doesn't have to be the end of any kind of happiness. Have loving thoughts towards yourself and the memories. Maybe one day you will be ready to get out there again. I wish you the best of luck ❤️ I am here if you need to talk. 


Comment by bluebird on April 13, 2020 at 8:17pm


I am sorry for your loss, and that the two of you were not able to be open about your love and about who you are. Even if you can't share the nature of your relationship and let everyone know that she is the love of your life, I think you can still share your grief, since everyone views her as your best friend, they should understand when you are sad, crying, angry, etc.  I would also recommend continuing to visit this site, as there are some good people here.  Additionally, you may want to seek out a grief website with a focus on LGBTQIA+ people; there are a few groups on this site (http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/groups/group/search?q=LGBT), but they are very inactive.  In any case, love is love, and loss is loss, and you are not alone. {{{{hugs}}}}

Latest Activity

Profile IconSubramaniam and Michelle joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
4 hours ago
Joe Housley joined Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group

Grief Counseling

Grief Counseling includes:Private chat sessions inspirational messagesworkbook pagesall services provided by certified grief counselorCommon reactions to grief and losswhy?…See More
Joe Housley left a comment for Leslie Jo
"Hello Leslie.  I lost my mother in 2018 after lengthy hospital stay after a surgery.  I then was devastated by the sudden loss of my wife in 2019 on the same date.  I am hoping to find some support because I am not dealing well with…"
Joe Housley posted a photo
Joe Housley updated their profile
Profile IconJoe Housley and Leslie Jo joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Alma P left a comment for Pete
"That is difficult to read without tears welling up in my eyes. I empathize. I've also lost a man I love. For me, the teeter-totter of emotions connected to the memories was chaotic for a while. I couldn't or maybe wouldn't move. A day…"
Alma P posted a status
"The stuck feeling has lifted."

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service