I lost my best friend 3.5 years ago. we met in high school and were together for 18 years. We could never be open about our love. She was married for 10 years and has a son. In spite of this our love was strong and genuine. This selfless pure love comes once in a lifetime. Now that i have lost her my world has changed...i dont know who i am and what i want from life.
So many regrets...
The worst part is that i cannot talk to anyone about this here. no one will be able to understand my loss. For them she was just my "best friend" but for me the love of my life.

I am 38 and I don't have friends (she was my person. never felt the need for anyone else) and each time i even think of going out there to make new ones i just dont have the motivation for it. Feel very lonely at times but still cannot bring myself to do anything about it.

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Comment by bluebird on April 13, 2020 at 8:17pm

Pavika,

I am sorry for your loss, and that the two of you were not able to be open about your love and about who you are. Even if you can't share the nature of your relationship and let everyone know that she is the love of your life, I think you can still share your grief, since everyone views her as your best friend, they should understand when you are sad, crying, angry, etc.  I would also recommend continuing to visit this site, as there are some good people here.  Additionally, you may want to seek out a grief website with a focus on LGBTQIA+ people; there are a few groups on this site (http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/groups/group/search?q=LGBT), but they are very inactive.  In any case, love is love, and loss is loss, and you are not alone. {{{{hugs}}}}

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