"That is difficult to read without tears welling up in my eyes. I empathize. I've also lost a man I love. For me, the teeter-totter of emotions connected to the memories was chaotic for a while. I couldn't or maybe wouldn't move. A day…"
"Some days I want to sit in my closet with a blanket wrapped around me as I remember the sound of his voice saying my name. "Alma, Alma, Alma" like I was a trouble maker. It reminds me that we both existed at the same time and shared so…"
Regrets... I have them too. I met a man in 2011. We were friends for years. I was in love with him. Yet, I never took the chance to further it. I thought I had all kind of time. I thought I was being patient. Then... He committed…"
I've lost a few of dear people in my life. This recent one was in December 2019. He was a man that meant more to me than I could explain or predict. I would have let that guy marry me. He was one of my best friends. He took his…"
"Alexandra Tomko -
That is beautiful... thank you for sharing it. I loved reading it. Its horrible that you were assaulted by another man... I'm sorry to hear that it happened. I have to say that, I am amazed by your courage and strength…"
That is a whole lot to go through. I too am having a rough year and can relate to those emotions. I am no stranger to losing people that I love. The latest one so far, would be Last December 2019. I lost a man that I love to…"
42. mother to 2 adults, enjoy gardening, yoga, archery, beach days, leisurely strolls, checking out the zoo, Disneyland, etc.
I have past trauma issues which doesn't mix too well when a sudden loss of a loved one occurs in my life. I have been overwhelmed since December 2019. Then this year of Corona 2020 has just added to the chaos I already have in my head. I just want to have somewhere to go and communicate with people who don't tell me "to get over it cause I'm choosing to live with misery."
I know death is inevitable and I believe that our energy transfers after our bodies have ceased functions. However, I haven't found a way to transition to letting go without some difficulty. I found this site during one of my searches while researching how to deal with the issues I am experiencing on one of my many sleepless nights. I'm hoping a social bereavement group will help out.
About my Loss:
Very dear male friend of mine committed suicide in December 2019. Where ever I am in the process of that... feels like I'm stuck.
I have a past history of losing my father and paternal grandfather to cancer. Lost an uncle on my father side to sudden brain hemorrhage. Another uncle died after a long history of complications to Multiple Sclerosis.
A best friend from high school, was killed in a drive by shooting and that one was extremely hard for me as well. Great paternal maternal great grand mother to natural causes of old age.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
"I can understand how that makes it even more difficult, having become a couple on that occasion.
I don't want to live without him, and I just don't feel that will ever change. So, it all seems so futile to go through this every day. "
"Thanks, Drewtoo. It sucks, and I'm sorry you are having to deal with it too. NYE is our anniversary (not our wedding anniversary, our "officially became a couple" anniversary), so it was always special to us. Since he died…"