My beloved was an incredibly talented, warm joyful soul. He suffered from alcoholism and I wasn't able to help him. He had wanted to marry me but I didn't think I could handle the drinking and what it was doing to him. After five years, I insisted he move out. We always remained close and by the time we realized he was sick we had become the dearest of companions. At that. point I told him he needed to come back and he did, briefly.He went on with a planned trip to visit his father out of state and passed away there in the spring. The main thing that is keeping my head above water is the faith of the continuation of the soul/consciousness. Also the belief that before long, I will join him....or did we ever part?