My name is Deborah, my husband was brutally stabbed to death in the prison that he was in.  it will be one year on the 31st of this month.  I thought that I was doing well for the past few months, but this month i can't stop crying.  i feel so sad and i miss him so very much.  At first I wanted to know everything so i read the investigative report and the autopsy report and now I can "see' the entire attack happening in my head. it won't go away.  I feel sad all the time and cry all the time now. he was my best friend, my lover, my husband, and soulmate.  He was my world.

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Comment by Mary Catenacci on May 19, 2011 at 9:46am
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my husband of 47 years, May11th, 2009. I wrote you a long email and it got lost in cyber land. That is so frustrating. I will recompose it a little later. Just know I share so much of what you are sharing here. Mary
Comment by Sherri Martin on May 12, 2011 at 11:34pm
Deborah, first let me say how sorry I am for your loss - especially a tragic, senseless one.  Know that you are not alone.  You are coming up on a milestone - the one-year 'anniversary' of his death.  It is normal to feel overwhelmed with sadness.  My husband suffered a massive heart attack just after Thanksgiving 10 years ago last year.  That date, as well as Thanksgiving and the holidays are still difficult for me, as is his birthday.  I met and fell in love with someone new 5 years after his death and remarried, but that doesn't erase the love I still feel. I still vividly recall the night he died- with all the details.  It does get easier to cope as time attempts to heal our loss, but I find I need to accept the feelings of sadness and loss as they arrive from time to time - most commonly on the milestone dates.  May I suggest that you do something in his memory on the 31st to honor the life you shared and the life he lived.  Whatever you decide to do is your choice and should feel right to you.  May God bless you gently during this difficult journey.

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