It's becoming more difficult dealingl with my parents murder/suicide as I get older

My name is Efren I am now 43 years of age. When I was 10 years old I witnessed my father murder my mother then take his own life. This happened 33 years ago but I'm having trouble coping with it now more than ever. I've been really depressed as of lately and not being myself. It seems to hit me during the holidays but every year it seems to be getting to me more and more. Some might say I'm feeling sorry for myself and to get over it already, easier said than done. I'm just look to hear from people who have gone through something similar to see how they dealt with it. I just have so many unanswered questions. Even though I only got to know my mother for 10 years I miss her dearly.

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Comment by bluebird on December 31, 2017 at 6:24pm

I understand; I haven't seen a therapist for much the same reason -- nothing they can say or do will bring my husband back to life, nor undo the devastation his death has made of my life.

However, I have seen a therapist in the past for other issues (long before my husband's death), and found it to be helpful. I think in your case it might help you somewhat....you could always try it, and if you find that it doesn't help, you could stop.  Your loss is not less than mine, but it is different, so maybe a therapist could help you deal with the loss and be happier in your life.

In any case, I do hope you are able to find some peace.

Comment by Efren Loredo on December 31, 2017 at 2:30pm

bluebird thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for your support

Comment by Efren Loredo on December 31, 2017 at 2:22pm

No I have never gotten or seeked professional help. They way I see it is their is nothing anyone can tell me that's going to help me unless they can bring my parents back. I guess I'm set in my ways.

Comment by bluebird on December 30, 2017 at 8:56pm

Of course you miss your mother dearly. I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible thing, especially as such a young child. Have you ever gotten any help in dealing with this? 

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