Efren Loredo
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  • Hobbs, NM
  • United States
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Amanda left a comment for Efren Loredo
"I think finding people who have had the kind of experience you had is challenging. There aren't really many places dedicated to children who have had the experience of losing both parents for very different reasons. I am speaking from personal…"
Jan 24, 2018
bluebird commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"I understand; I haven't seen a therapist for much the same reason -- nothing they can say or do will bring my husband back to life, nor undo the devastation his death has made of my life. However, I have seen a therapist in the past for other…"
Dec 31, 2017
Efren Loredo commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"bluebird thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for your support"
Dec 31, 2017
Efren Loredo updated their profile
Dec 31, 2017
Efren Loredo commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"No I have never gotten or seeked professional help. They way I see it is their is nothing anyone can tell me that's going to help me unless they can bring my parents back. I guess I'm set in my ways."
Dec 31, 2017
bluebird commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"Of course you miss your mother dearly. I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible thing, especially as such a young child. Have you ever gotten any help in dealing with this? "
Dec 30, 2017
Efren Loredo posted a blog post

It's becoming more difficult dealingl with my parents murder/suicide as I get older

My name is Efren I am now 43 years of age. When I was 10 years old I witnessed my father murder my mother then take his own life. This happened 33 years ago but I'm having trouble coping with it now more than ever. I've been really depressed as of lately and not being myself. It seems to hit me during the holidays but every year it seems to be getting to me more and more. Some might say I'm feeling sorry for myself and to get over it already, easier said than done. I'm just look to hear from…See More
Dec 30, 2017
Efren Loredo is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 30, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm originally from San Jose CA
About my Loss:
In 1984 I witnessed my father murder my mother then kill his self.

Efren Loredo's Blog

It's becoming more difficult dealingl with my parents murder/suicide as I get older

My name is Efren I am now 43 years of age. When I was 10 years old I witnessed my father murder my mother then take his own life. This happened 33 years ago but I'm having trouble coping with it now more than ever. I've been really depressed as of lately and not being myself. It seems to hit me during the holidays but every year it seems to be getting to me more and more. Some might say I'm feeling sorry for myself and to get over it already, easier said than done. I'm just look to hear from… Continue

Posted on December 30, 2017 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

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At 4:24pm on January 24, 2018, Amanda said…

I think finding people who have had the kind of experience you had is challenging. There aren't really many places dedicated to children who have had the experience of losing both parents for very different reasons. I am speaking from personal experience. When I was 1 and a half, my father murdered my mother and then tried to either kill himself or convince others they had both come to harm by others. He survived and was imprisoned for life. Although I was not old enough to remember the murder, I was in the car at the time. As I have gotten older, I wonder how who I am today was affected by that loss. I can never know for sure, but I know I have been. It is a hard thing to come to terms with the things you go through in life knowing your mother will never experience them with you. It is also so conflicting to know someone who is the other half of you is the reason. I am still rather young and I struggle with the idea of having a child knowing the mental health issues that likely contributed to the murder and those that I have that are similar. It scares me. I miss the life I could have had, but there is nothing I can do to bring her back. I cherish her photos and writing. Her items that I have. A good therapist would never tell you to get over what happened. It may however, help you come to terms with the fact that being sad and wasting your life looking back will never bring your parents back. You cannot be the martyr and be filled with guilt constantly to revive a parent who is gone. If you want to remember your mother....do it. But think that she would never want to have died just for you to feel the way you are all the time. I bet she would want you to remember her fondly, lovingly and have a life that you love, that is full because she never got that chance. I hope some of what I said helps you. I stand by the therapist. Another piece of advice you can take or leave....if you don't feel the therapist is helping you don't be afraid to try another. Just like a healthcare provider, your should feel like you are getting better or going in a good direction for you. You won't hurt their feelings if it isn't a good match for you. Sorry for the lengthy comment. Good luck!

 
 
 

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Kelly Lieberman posted a status
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mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
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Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
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Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
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Pamela philipp posted a blog post

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am…See More
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Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks M adams and Brett. Will wait for that time when I get over the guilt.  Starting my day with positive today. "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I agree with M. I'm not one to give advice because I have not conquered those guilty feelings either. I have a feeling, and that is all I can go by, that one day we will grow tired of beating ourselves up, and that's when we will take…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, so good to hear that you can feel celebratory.  Engaging in life is important, it is something every parent wants for their child.  At the same time, I think in bereavement it’s hard to handle celebratory occasions because our…"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Just returned from a small trip in India only. Whenever I celebrate, I feel guilty. "
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