I think finding people who have had the kind of experience you had is challenging. There aren't really many places dedicated to children who have had the experience of losing both parents for very different reasons. I am speaking from personal experience. When I was 1 and a half, my father murdered my mother and then tried to either kill himself or convince others they had both come to harm by others. He survived and was imprisoned for life. Although I was not old enough to remember the murder, I was in the car at the time. As I have gotten older, I wonder how who I am today was affected by that loss. I can never know for sure, but I know I have been. It is a hard thing to come to terms with the things you go through in life knowing your mother will never experience them with you. It is also so conflicting to know someone who is the other half of you is the reason. I am still rather young and I struggle with the idea of having a child knowing the mental health issues that likely contributed to the murder and those that I have that are similar. It scares me. I miss the life I could have had, but there is nothing I can do to bring her back. I cherish her photos and writing. Her items that I have. A good therapist would never tell you to get over what happened. It may however, help you come to terms with the fact that being sad and wasting your life looking back will never bring your parents back. You cannot be the martyr and be filled with guilt constantly to revive a parent who is gone. If you want to remember your mother....do it. But think that she would never want to have died just for you to feel the way you are all the time. I bet she would want you to remember her fondly, lovingly and have a life that you love, that is full because she never got that chance. I hope some of what I said helps you. I stand by the therapist. Another piece of advice you can take or leave....if you don't feel the therapist is helping you don't be afraid to try another. Just like a healthcare provider, your should feel like you are getting better or going in a good direction for you. You won't hurt their feelings if it isn't a good match for you. Sorry for the lengthy comment. Good luck!