Efren Loredo
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  • Hobbs, NM
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Amanda left a comment for Efren Loredo
"I think finding people who have had the kind of experience you had is challenging. There aren't really many places dedicated to children who have had the experience of losing both parents for very different reasons. I am speaking from personal…"
Jan 24
bluebird commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"I understand; I haven't seen a therapist for much the same reason -- nothing they can say or do will bring my husband back to life, nor undo the devastation his death has made of my life. However, I have seen a therapist in the past for other…"
Dec 31
Efren Loredo commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"bluebird thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for your support"
Dec 31, 2017
Efren Loredo updated their profile
Dec 31, 2017
Efren Loredo commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"No I have never gotten or seeked professional help. They way I see it is their is nothing anyone can tell me that's going to help me unless they can bring my parents back. I guess I'm set in my ways."
Dec 31, 2017
bluebird commented on Efren Loredo's blog post Finding it harder to deal with my parents murder/suicide as I get older
"Of course you miss your mother dearly. I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible thing, especially as such a young child. Have you ever gotten any help in dealing with this? "
Dec 30, 2017
Efren Loredo posted a blog post

It's becoming more difficult dealingl with my parents murder/suicide as I get older

My name is Efren I am now 43 years of age. When I was 10 years old I witnessed my father murder my mother then take his own life. This happened 33 years ago but I'm having trouble coping with it now more than ever. I've been really depressed as of lately and not being myself. It seems to hit me during the holidays but every year it seems to be getting to me more and more. Some might say I'm feeling sorry for myself and to get over it already, easier said than done. I'm just look to hear from…See More
Dec 30, 2017
Efren Loredo is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 30, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm originally from San Jose CA
About my Loss:
In 1984 I witnessed my father murder my mother then kill his self.

Efren Loredo's Blog

It's becoming more difficult dealingl with my parents murder/suicide as I get older

My name is Efren I am now 43 years of age. When I was 10 years old I witnessed my father murder my mother then take his own life. This happened 33 years ago but I'm having trouble coping with it now more than ever. I've been really depressed as of lately and not being myself. It seems to hit me during the holidays but every year it seems to be getting to me more and more. Some might say I'm feeling sorry for myself and to get over it already, easier said than done. I'm just look to hear from… Continue

Posted on December 30, 2017 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

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At 4:24pm on January 24, 2018, Amanda said…

I think finding people who have had the kind of experience you had is challenging. There aren't really many places dedicated to children who have had the experience of losing both parents for very different reasons. I am speaking from personal experience. When I was 1 and a half, my father murdered my mother and then tried to either kill himself or convince others they had both come to harm by others. He survived and was imprisoned for life. Although I was not old enough to remember the murder, I was in the car at the time. As I have gotten older, I wonder how who I am today was affected by that loss. I can never know for sure, but I know I have been. It is a hard thing to come to terms with the things you go through in life knowing your mother will never experience them with you. It is also so conflicting to know someone who is the other half of you is the reason. I am still rather young and I struggle with the idea of having a child knowing the mental health issues that likely contributed to the murder and those that I have that are similar. It scares me. I miss the life I could have had, but there is nothing I can do to bring her back. I cherish her photos and writing. Her items that I have. A good therapist would never tell you to get over what happened. It may however, help you come to terms with the fact that being sad and wasting your life looking back will never bring your parents back. You cannot be the martyr and be filled with guilt constantly to revive a parent who is gone. If you want to remember your mother....do it. But think that she would never want to have died just for you to feel the way you are all the time. I bet she would want you to remember her fondly, lovingly and have a life that you love, that is full because she never got that chance. I hope some of what I said helps you. I stand by the therapist. Another piece of advice you can take or leave....if you don't feel the therapist is helping you don't be afraid to try another. Just like a healthcare provider, your should feel like you are getting better or going in a good direction for you. You won't hurt their feelings if it isn't a good match for you. Sorry for the lengthy comment. Good luck!

 
 
 

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This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
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Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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