Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I have found myself to be emotionally numb and dead on the inside since I suddenly lost my dad a year ago. This has made me feel very little about others and make it hard for me to feel love. I am afraid that I will lose all of the other people in my life so I have sort of distanced myself and been unable to let new friends in. Taking with others on a personal level is painful so I have been avoiding it. I don't want to lose the people in my life that I love, just because I am not processing grief well and cannot express this to the people I am close with. I would like to tear down these walls around my heart that I have built up, but I don't know and how and I am scared to do so. Before I built these walls and shut emotions out, I was having a lot of anxiety and panic attacks. They were so bad, that I had a hard time functioning normally and wanted to die. Since I have emotionally shut down all of the pain, anger, and anxiety has gone away and I have been functioning normally at work. It feels like a catch 22 and I am tired of being caught up in grief.