October 2018 Blog Posts (4)

Grief Unpaused, 30 Years Later

(Pardon the length, brevity is not in my nature and this has been bottled far too long.)

 

The Notification

 

I was going to school at Kansas State, but that day had returned to Topeka to visit friends.  I rolled into my parents’ house about 3am on the 18th of October and went in to squeeze my mother’s foot, as was the custom to let them know I was…

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Added by Speed Weasel on October 24, 2018 at 1:00pm — No Comments

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.

Added by Virginia G on October 11, 2018 at 2:12am — 1 Comment

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen…

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Added by M Adams on October 10, 2018 at 4:37pm — No Comments

To my mum

There will never be a day where I don’t think about you, there could be weeks where it doesn’t cripple me that you’ve gone then all of a sudden it’s like a bus has hit me And it’s like that morning all over again. There’s no pain like this. It’s like someone’s pulled the curtains on your life it’s over now you’ve got to make a new one with no reason as to why or how to do it. The people that you thought would come and show you what to do or be there are no where to be seen…

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Added by Daniella on October 10, 2018 at 4:51am — No Comments

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