Tom
  • Male
  • Duluth, MN
  • United States
Share
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups (1)
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos

Tom's Groups

Gifts Received

Gift

Tom has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Tom's Page

Latest Activity

Roslyn left a comment for Tom
"Tom I understand that cliches from those who mean well simply don't work.  Someone once said to me before my husbands funeral, "now your a widow you must move on."  I was stunned.  But a counsellor did say, "you…"
Dec 11, 2021
Tom left a comment for Roslyn
"Ros, it's nice to hear from someone who gets it. Days are getting a little easier, but when I settle in for the evening, the emptiness is there. I have heard all the cliches such as "it wiil come in waves " or "it doesn't go…"
Dec 10, 2021
Roslyn left a comment for Tom
"Hi Tom My husband passed away from his cancer which had spread to his liver on November 5th this year. I do understand what you are saying about the world moving on, when your world has come to a complete halt.    Most of my friends…"
Dec 10, 2021
Tom left a comment for Tom
"Lost my wife of 38 yrs to malignant melanoma of the liver. she had beaten it twice before, but it returned in the liver this time. The problem I am having is I still need to talk about it, but the rest of the world has returned to…"
Dec 9, 2021
Tom joined Kathleen Jordan's group
Thumbnail

What's Next?

For those that have been changed to the core by their loss, but have to survive in the now.See More
Dec 9, 2021
Tom is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 9, 2021

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 56 yrs old. I am a father of four and grandfather of 4 also. I like woodworking, camping and hiking.
About my Loss:
I lost my wife of 38 yrs in late October. We were high school sweethearts and best friends. My wife was first diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma in 1994. She beat 2 reoccurrences over the years, but succumbed to it this time when it attacked her liver. I am struggling with the "bad days". The rest of the world has returned to "normal" but I'm not there. I feel that my friends might be getting tired of listening to me, and I don't want to burden my children too much. I am afraid that if they are having a better day, my venting will bring them down. I still need to talk about, but am losing my listeners.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a Medical Lab Technician - unrelated to this though.

Comment Wall (3 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 12:52pm on December 11, 2021, Roslyn said…

Tom

I understand that cliches from those who mean well simply don't work.  Someone once said to me before my husbands funeral, "now your a widow you must move on."  I was stunned.  But a counsellor did say, "you will never got over this, but you will get through it."  Now that did make sense and I often think of that.

Writing a daily journal expressing your feelings on paper helps me, maybe you could consider doing something like that?

I find the mornings worse than the nights.  I wake up and realise I'm all alone and the loneliness sets in all over again.  Thankfully I live on acreage and when I work long, hard hours it helps to keep me calm.

Grief is certainly a personal journey and what suits one doesn't always suit all. I wish you well Tom on your journey ...... 

Ros

At 6:45pm on December 10, 2021, Roslyn said…

Hi Tom

My husband passed away from his cancer which had spread to his liver on November 5th this year. I do understand what you are saying about the world moving on, when your world has come to a complete halt.   

Most of my friends understand as best as they can, but unless you lose the love of your life, you will never truly "get it" and the huge impact it has on your life.  I also end up keeping most of my thoughts to myself now, as while others move on from his passing, I'm the one who seems unable to at present.  

You take care and I have found also as I'm only a recent member here too, that writing those feelings down does help.

Ros

At 7:19pm on December 9, 2021, Tom said…

Lost my wife of 38 yrs to malignant melanoma of the liver. she had beaten it twice before, but it returned in the liver this time. The problem I am having is I still need to talk about it, but the rest of the world has returned to "normal".

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Profile IconTEAWARREN, Eudora Ford, Lu and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Julie McKinney posted a blog post

ANGER

I wanted to write today about anger. After my son passed away, many of his friends wrote beautiful memories and feelings about him via Facebook. I didn't realize how much he meant to so many people and how many lives were touched by his kindness. However, what angers me is that not ONE of these "FRIENDS" ever came to visit him in the nursing home. He was in a nursing facility for 10 years and yet only his dad, myself and his stepdad came on a regular basis. I understand that it's hard to see…See More
3 hours ago
Brianna Rei-White is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Roslyn replied to Roslyn's discussion learning to cope with my loss
"Hi Enza Yesterday my headaches were bad so I managed to get an appointment with a doctor who was on call at my local surgery, since it was a Saturday morning. As soon as I was in her room I just started to cry.  I felt so silly, but being there…"
Saturday
V. R. replied to Roslyn's discussion learning to cope with my loss
"Hi Ros, no, I didn't know about your injury. I'm so very sorry to hear about it, but don't worry, I'm sure this has nothing to do with your headaches, since it happened two weeks ago. Of course, you feel more vulnerable now…"
Saturday
Roslyn replied to Roslyn's discussion learning to cope with my loss
"Hi Enza I can understand your many thoughts regarding Claudio's ashes.   All these "what if's" go through our minds don't they?  I often wonder about many things I do in the here and now and things I wish I…"
Friday
Profile IconDevanshi Dave and Elnora Brister joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Elnora Brister posted a photo
Thursday

© 2022   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service