Im 40 yrs old, live in NJ. work long hours I have a grandson whom is almost 4 and hes my everything.
About my Loss:
My son Matt was born on my birthday and died 22 yrs later on my birthday as well. I been out of my mind since, he was my everything my best friend, my heart, my life, we did everything together, movies, dinners, dancing you name it we did it, we had so much fun all the time. I raised him on my own, We looked for his dad for 20yrs and couldn't be found. although we moved alot due to money situations I thought for sure I would find him.
Now its almost 2 yrs my son passed and Im still if nt worse in the same situation except that I found his father WOW!!!!! I truly believe Matt brought him to me because there is no way I would have found him in less than 4 hours in one day after searching for over 20 yrs.
I need help.
I know I have a grandson and his mom and she is like a daughter to me and we hang out as well I love her to death, but its still not the same and im feeling a little jealous that after all these yrs I find my sons father and he wants to be a part of the babies life. Am I selfish for thinking this way??
We were young we were eachothers first and we just lost contact and I do blame my parents for most of this. My story goes on and on and im just jumping around but i really wish I can get some type of answer.
Thanks for reading
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