Nicole
  • Female
  • Fresno, CA
  • United States
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Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
Oct 19, 2018
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
Oct 18, 2018
Nicole replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you so much I would like to be able to Express myself and talk to somone who can relate thank you for your reply. "
Sep 28, 2018
Linda Engberg replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Nicole, I would have to say after 5 years that the pain is easier to deal with. "
Sep 27, 2018
Elynn m replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm  so sorry for your great loss.   It has been three years for me. The first year was worse.    The only way it gets easier is when we start remembering the good times.   The pain will get softer, but will always be…"
Sep 26, 2018
Monty replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im so sorry for the pain and suffering you and your family must be going though. its absolutely fantastic that your doing as well as you are for your children every one will have different triggers for the painful memories and emotions that you…"
Sep 26, 2018
Jim Horvath left a comment for Nicole
"I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write…"
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole added 2 discussions to the group Lost My Spouse...
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole updated their profile
Sep 26, 2018
Nicole is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 26, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm 27 years old I have two children my oldest is 4 and my youngest is 3 .
About my Loss:
I lost my husband the father of my children. We were high school sweethearts I was with him 4 years two years in high school and two after we both graduated, he asked me to marry after he got out of bootcamp he became a marine we got married in 2011 so we were married for 8 years. 2018 I lost my best friend my first everything and it hurt so much. Feb 13th 2018 I lost my best friend he went to sleep and never woke up. I found out later he had an enlarged heart and sleep apnea. I never felt so much pain and the pain still feels the same I know it will never get better when he dies he took the best parts of me and half of my heart with him. I never got to grieve right becuase I had my children who needed me and every day I wake up it's for them I'm still breathing for them and my husband and I'll keep breathing until my heart gives out .

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 5:52pm on September 26, 2018, Jim Horvath said…

I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I knew what to say to you in order to ease your pain, but I don't.  This forum may help you see that a lot of people go through losses and grief.  I try to stay busy and try every day to write something down that was positive.  It doesn't fix anything or make the loss and heartache go away, but my hope is that someday I (and you) will adjust to this new life we have without our best friend and love.  

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bless you Morgan.  You say it all."
19 hours ago
Lisa is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
20 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan Thanks for sharing how you cope without your Husband.  You put into words what I cannot express. "
yesterday
Dolly commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Do we ever stop having those days that seem just like the day it all happened? when nothing else seems real and all we feel is the pain again? does it ever just not happen any more? "
yesterday
Martha Dee is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 2Linda, yes and yes, I "laugh on the outside and cry on the inside".  And the laugh (or just plain conversation) is just part of how I cope for when I have to be around others.  But it means nothing.  It’s like we…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 1 Bless you and thanks to each one of you who keep writing about how you feel and how you cope.  I always feel support knowing I am not alone.  What I don't get (and not that any one of us can give it) is the answer to how I can…"
yesterday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's a Catch 22, impossible to solve.  I accept Her body isn't alive anymore, but I HAVE TO HAVE HER BODY ALIVE AND STILL WITH ME and I want that to be forever.  I know that's impossible, but I STILL HAVE TO HAVE IT!!! …"
Monday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie I'm sorry but just know your words do stay in my head. Keven's mom...I'm so sorry that phone came.  There's nothing I can say or do to make this easier on you.  Just know we know exactly how you feel.  Your…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friends, As all of you have stated, I too fake my happiness. I laugh on the outside and am crying for him on the inside. I ache so bad that my Julian is not in my life. I just don't understand why God won't take me. Until he does, I…"
Monday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan.  I wish I had answers but I am in the very same place.  Lost, fake and hollow.  I feel worse than I did a year ago I think because I thought I would feel better and don't. Empty and apathetic.  I'm tired all the…"
Monday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, I don't know why this has happened to us, our soulmates being torn from us, but it fucking sucks. Have you considered not acting happy and normal, since that isn't how you feel? Especially if acting that way isn't helping…"
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Please somebody, tell me how I can continue to do this.  I am so depressed.  I get up every day and pretend.  It's what is making me so depressed.  It looks like I am functioning so normally.  Now that I have learned…"
Monday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
Saturday
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
Saturday
Danny updated their profile
Saturday
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
Saturday

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