Esther Ferrari
  • Female
  • South Africa

Esther Ferrari's Friends

  • Pamela Manning
  • dream moon JO B
  • Brenda Ann
  • anna l.

Esther Ferrari's Groups

Gifts Received


Esther Ferrari has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift


Esther Ferrari's Page

Profile Information

About my Loss:
My husband passed on the 15th of May 2011. What happened to Peter is unspeakable, so please excuse me if I do not elaborate. The way I cope is to repress it all, lol...also to see each day as one day closer to being with Peter. I suffer from terrible nightmares and when I wake up, it is to *the* nightmare. My faith in Christ must be what carries me, as I am less than weak...I find it gets worse with time, as I miss Peter with all that is within me...blah blah blah, lol

Esther Ferrari's Blog

"I will rise..."


There's a peace I've come to know

Though my heart and flesh may fail

There's an anchor for my soul

I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles' wings

Before my God fall on my…

Posted on January 3, 2013 at 2:15pm

"Be my Everything"

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming..God in my watching, God in my waiting..God in my laughing, there in my weeping..God in my hurting, God in my healing



Posted on November 3, 2012 at 6:30am


When my Dad passed from brain took about 3 years to stop the barrage of nightmares, in which I was constantly looking after him, trying to keep him from falling etc as he was so dizzy and unstable on his feet before being totally bedridden. Now I am assailed by the most horrendous nightmares again...the worst ones being where Peter is being kept alive somewhere and being experimented on, and when I finally get to him, he is so relieved that I have come to rescue him, he is…


Posted on October 28, 2012 at 7:42pm — 13 Comments


It has been raining a lot this past week. Too much even. Rather this than a drought. Am so blessed to have a home and warm clothes and food etc. Also that my home is not flooded like so many are! In fact I am very blessed in so many ways. I am not in hospital, have a fully functioning body....yes, I can count my blessings and name them one by one and see what God has done, and never get to the end of it.

Posted on October 27, 2012 at 12:11am

Comment Wall (4 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 2:07pm on November 26, 2012, michail lalas said…

thank you

At 11:21pm on October 26, 2012, Pamela Manning said…
Welcome to the group. I read your story. It is so hard to talk about what the cruel, evil monster "cancer" has done to our loved one and what we were left with during and afterwards. It just doesn't seem fair that horrible things could happen to such good people. People say to me all the time "Joe did not deserve this." I totally agree 100%. But neither did Jesus. But I do have comfort in know that Jesus was holding my husband in his times of need. I found feathers in our bed before and after my husbands death. I even ask my husband, babe where are these feathers coming from? I said are you getting your wings, joking to keep things lite but I really didn't know how spot on I was.
At 10:51pm on October 26, 2012, Pamela Manning said…
Thank you Esther. It was indeed support to be beautiful. We had looked so forward to the move and getting settled. God had this all planned for us. My husband getting me to my youngest daughter, the selling of our home, and then getting things put away not to clutter my daughters home. We enjoyed a day of relaxing and the following day the walls came tumbling in on us, sorta speak. Within 3 months he was gone. My whole life change in such a devastating way. Now I have to ask myself? What is the new normal? I want the old normal, just to turn back time for a little while. Of course I would never want my husband to ever have to go thru any of that again no matter how bad I want him back. I have not had a chance to read your blog but plan to after this reply. Again Thank you for the nice reply.
At 2:59pm on October 26, 2012, Brenda Ann said…

Dear Esther,

I know that your loss is terrible and unspeakable but it is very important for you to  talk about it even if that is in writing a journal that no one but you ever reads. This way you still can let it out instead of bottling it all up. If you want to talk to a person but do not want your situation and feelings exposed publically you can go to - their website is email based and is never posted publicly. Hope this helps a little anyway...



Latest Activity

eunice navarro joined Melanie Richmond's group

Young Adult Parent Loss

For young adults 18+ who have lost a parent during this difficult, unique, phase of life.
7 hours ago
eunice navarro is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
8 hours ago
ash posted a blog post


i love seeing him in my dreams. See More
9 hours ago
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday. My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine. I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
Profile IconJeremico Cooper, Heather and Julia Metcalfe joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Today, I feel it. It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April. I am overwhelmed. I am crushed. I love you, Mom. I…"
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died. For some reason, I do not feel crushed today. But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service