"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Donna Gauthier
- Female
- Palmdale, CA
- United States
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- Groups (2)
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Donna Gauthier's Groups
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Missing my Son or Daug…
451 members
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
942 members
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am a 58 year old disabled woman. Living now with two cats and a dog. I have a aid to help me do things around the house. I did have three children. My oldest son lives about 40 minutes away and mt daughter moved last summer almost 3 hours away. And of course Adam he lived with me. The only people I see or talk to very often is my aid. I only talk to my daughter on the phone unless they come to town. And my son if I really need something my aid can't do and groceries two times a month. They say they are going to redo my little house when things settle down. Right now I feel real empty and lonely. My computer seems to be my only life line. I forgot to tell you about two years ago I developed really bad neuropathy and I am now in a wheelchair. So it makes life a little harder.
- About my Loss:
- , My son Adam was 36 when I found him dead in bed on April 17 2011.After my husband left me in 1995 for my friend. Adam stayed on to help me. At the time I could still drive a car and only walked with a cane. He was going to computer school a healthy vibrant active young man. In 2002 we moved and Adam was bit by a Brown Recluse spider. After days of IV antibiotics and almost cutting of his arm. Two weeks later Adam started having seizures. He had never had them before. They went away in about 2 months. But he was never well a day in his life after that. He developed liver disease then diabetes swollen pancreas and spleen. And He just kept getting sicker. He would loose 3 or 4 units of blood out of no where having to be rushed to the hospital. In Sept,Oct was one of those times he was even in a coma and on life support then. And they had no idea of why. So more tests. When he came out of the coma he lost his kidneys. So he had to start kidney dialysis. They sent him home after a little over a month.
One home he kept going back to the hospital usually on the weekend. Sometimes for blood sometime for a extra dialysis.
On April 15th and 16th he had to get more blood. He didn't seem to perk back up afterwards. He figured he just needed dialyis. We were both up late. Adam even went up to the service station to get cigarette's at about 2:00 am. Sometime after we fell asleep. For some reason I didn't wake up early like I usually do even if I am up late. And I passed Adam's room on the way to the restroom. He was so still in my mind I thought good he is getting some good sleep. So I didn't wake him up. But I walked past his room several times and he hadn't moved. Not a hand a foot or even a finger. I think I was afraid to really check to see what my fear was because he didn't look like he was breathing. I went to fix something for lunch. And figured I should see if he wanted anything. He was still the same. I went in his room to his bed and he wasn't breathing. His jaw was locked and he was cold. I don't think that picture will ever leave my head the shear panic of my Adam laying there dead. I called 911 and tried to tell the guy he was dead. And he kept saying to me to try CPR. I told him I was disabled and in a wheelchair and couldn't and that it wouldn't do any good anyway he was cold and his jaw was locked. But until the fire department got there he kept telling me to try CPR. I kept telling him but he is already dead. But he had to hear it from the medic. At least it didn't look like he suffered he just looked like he was asleep. No more suffering I guess God just took him home. Leaving me all alone.
Groups
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Sibling Loss
9 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Losing a Sister
93 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Grief Counseling
140 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
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Losing a sibling
62 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
43 members
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Compounded grief with ex…
49 members
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Lost both parents
12 members
Latest Activity
My husband
"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief
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Assumptions
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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thank you for your word they help in more than you could imagine. just to know that someone feels the exact same way i feel the emptyness that yuo feel because that person is gone. its only been ayear since my mom passed andjust knowing in the way she was taken from me it hurts so bad i feel like im wondering alone in this place and its really scary because she was my safty net what would i do if i werent with my husband and son i would be so lost to the point of no return because they are the only reason as to why i get up every morning even thought i want to stay in bed and not get up they are the reason why i go to work even though i feel i have nothing in me and god that gave me those reasons to continue on
i am so sorry about all ur losses ireally never had much of a family i only had my mom and brother growing up. my father was never there my grandparents and aunts lived in puerto rico all my life so i was really use to it only being the 3 of us all the time and i dont even have that i just hope that god gives us all the peace and tranquility we need and so much desire. i dont know how it felt to lose my son and i cant begin to understand the pain u must be in and im so sorry for that itis truley a really horrible thing to go through and i am here when ever u need to talk'