Crystal Ann Spaulding
  • Female
  • Midvale, UT
  • United States
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About Me:
Hello,
I am 27 year old college student. I have two awesome children, a boy and a girl. My oldest has Autism, so between school and home life things are a bit hectic. I have been married for 9 years to a wonderful man and father. I love to sing and watch old movies.
About my Loss:
I lost my father at the beginning of March 2011. It was sudden, he was vacationing with my mother and little sister (who is in high school). I got a phone call from little sis and heard them trying to resuscitate him. My mother found him not breathing and purple. They were not able to do anything, he had already left us. Because he was barely 50 we did not see this coming, and it makes it that much harder to cope. The coroner still hasn't told us the cause of death, just that it had something to do with his weight. He left his wife and 6 children behind, and it is unbearable to continue without him, he was our sunshine.

Crystal Ann Spaulding's Blog

Dream

I dreamed last night that my Papa was alive, but conditionally. It felt like we all knew he would have to go again soon, so the urgency made us try to make the best of the limited time.

It was Christmas and we stayed together for days, with no one leaving. Then my Papa proposed to my mother again, so they could renew their vows. It meant so much to us all and gave us hope. But before the day was through he was gone again. It hurt so much more in the dream, to have him again, then to…

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Posted on April 13, 2011 at 9:55am

Missing more than one.

My sister had me join this blog so that I could get some emotions out without burdening complete strangers, which I do often.

So here I go again. I feel like I lost more than my father I lost my mother as well. My mom has always worked and my father was the one who raised us. My mom had trouble relating to us, becasue of severe anxiety. SO my dad filled both roles at home. Now that he is gone it is apparent how little we actually had of our mother and now what remains is just an empty…

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Posted on April 9, 2011 at 1:41pm — 2 Comments

woah!

Hello to myself and everyone,

I am struggling with the idea that life goes on. Why? Why can't I take a sec? It hurts too much to just progress, I am not ready. But each day I have to function for my family, for my little ones. Then of course I feel heartless becasue I did. Doesn't my father deserve more?

 

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 1:31pm — 1 Comment

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At 10:28pm on April 10, 2011, John B said…

I am sorry for your losses. I also lost 2 people very close to me, my dad and "me second mum" Dorothy last year. It's not easy, but I'm slowly feeling a bit better thanks to music and kind people. I hope this helps

 

http://www.soundstrue.com/shop/Gregg-Braden%E2%80%99s-Music-from-the-Divine-Matrix/3064.productdetails?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Display-Ads&utm_content=greggbraden-music&utm_campaign=Gregg-Braden-FB-Ad

 
 
 

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