"I respect everyone's right to believe what they choose. I am a person of science and that won't change. I have studied religion intensely and have studied science and evolution. My choice is science.
I wonder if any of you have gone to…"
"I'm surprised to see so many on here who feel the same way I do. I want to die rather than continue without my husband. He died on Oct. 6th 2017. I know my grief is raw and it's early in the process... but I still feel that way.
"Thank you for writing Morgan. I appreciate it so much that you reached out. I have an appointment with a grief counsellor on Monday. I'm looking forward to that and hoping the Dr. Can help. It's very difficult for me not to look ahead too…"
I am so sorry for your loss. I will face this Saturday with dread as it is the second year of my husband's death. I think in the beginning, you feel a sort of numbness, you cannot believe this is real. As time goes by, you realize…"
"I always read the circumstances of those who have just joined this site and feel for all but mostly for those who have lost a spouse because that is my own very personal loss. So writing to everyone is impossible and when I read, I feel over…"
I'm 48. Atheist and animal lover. I used to be a lot more things. Things that were happy and safe but I am that no longer.
About my Loss:
My husband died Oct. 6, 2017. A week ago. He was my whole heart. He was only 39 years old. He was my home and my safe place. My best friend.
I feel like I'm dying. I want to. I want to fade away and not live another day without him. I would have done it myself but my family intervened. They made me see how much I would hurt my Dad if I died. That is keeping me holding on... Just barely.
My whole life changed in 1 second. We lived in a city where I don't have any family or close friends. I couldn't stay in my house alone so now I'm moved to another city and live in my Dad's basement. 2 weeks ago I had a home and husband. Now I live in a basement. I appreciate how my dad is going out of his way for me but the loss of both husband and home is overwhelming. I am shattered.
Comment Wall (2 comments)
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
I am so sorry for your loss. I will face this Saturday with dread as it is the second year of my husband's death. I think in the beginning, you feel a sort of numbness, you cannot believe this is real. As time goes by, you realize it is real, and you then have to start distracting yourself or you will sink into a depression, so please try to do one thing each day that gets you out of the house. I seem to only have peace when I engage in activities that take my mind off the loneliness and sadness of losing the most wonderful person in my life for over 55 years.
You may say, "wow, you have your love for that long, so why are you complaining?". Well, after that many years, the person has really become your other half. So when they leave, you are left half a person.
As far as being an Athiest, I respect your belief, but, I have found that believing in God has definitely helped me through some very dark hours. I wish you could find that peace and help in some way.
I hope your days get more bearable, and you continue to come to this site for solace and comfort.
I always read the circumstances of those who have just joined this site and feel for all but mostly for those who have lost a spouse because that is my own very personal loss. So writing to everyone is impossible and when I read, I feel over and over my own struggles.
Cheyenne, I am sorry that you have had to find us but for many of us this site is a lifeline. It allows you to grieve and to know that many others are feeling the same kinds of feelings you are. You are in such an early stage of the grief and I can only say to take things an hour at a time. Sometimes only a minute. Don't look too far ahead. Try to take baby steps. Washing your hair, having something to eat, crying, but try to stand up often. Try to get out of bed. I cant tell you how to do things but try to do things.
It will seem impossible and yes you will want to do otherwise. But all of us have felt and still feel many of the same feelings and I guess what I am saying is you are not alone even if it feels that way. Millions of us are suffering right alongside you. We have no answers but we look to each other for the support to know we are not crazy for feeling the way we do.
I am so sorry that you have lost your husband and you are living in a totally different universe but I do know what you re going through and I just wanted you to know someone is listening........
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
"Hello M Adams
Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired. So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though. I look here daily to read.…"
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack. It happened on the weekend. I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine. I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone. I just…"
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
"Thank you, some days are better than others. I feel so for you. My Mom was the center of my world also. I lived with her & took care of her. I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"