When will the ache subside?

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When will the ache subside?

A group for people who have lost loved ones with prolonged suffering. For those of us who have seen that the end is coming, and had to watch the ones we love creep toward it.

Members: 77
Latest Activity: Oct 16, 2017

Discussion Forum

It still aches, but I am able to cope with it better. 5 Replies

I have cried my eyes out for a year and a few months since my adorable husband passed away.  We were married 44 years, and it was our second marraige and we were as close as any two could possibly…Continue

Started by Georgia Garrison. Last reply by kathleen akin Aug 19, 2016.

Intros... 14 Replies

Who are you? Why are you here? Tell me about yourself.

Started by Desiree. Last reply by Tracey Bottoms Jan 29, 2012.

Intro 3 Replies

My name is Julie, I lost my sweet dad to Colon cancer feb 2005 and my dearest mom in august 2009 one day shy of her 68th bday.  I have no family to speak of, I have half siblings but we only know…Continue

Started by Julie Dolsey-Weiss. Last reply by Sue Waxman Jul 24, 2011.

Waking up from dreaming of my hubby today 2 Replies

today i woke up froma dream about jason and i of course bawled my eyes out when i woke up. dreaming of him is always so hard for me. even i don't see his face its like hes all up inside my head and…Continue

Started by roxydee. Last reply by roxydee Mar 15, 2011.

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Comment by michael sandoval on January 2, 2011 at 5:47pm
Hi All. The last few days, the entire holiday season has been really horrible. The new year has not been happy and happiness is something I cannot remember very well. I really hope that this heavy sadness and depression will subside soon. It's been over a year for me since I lost my Denise and sometimes I feel like it is just too much for me.
Comment by Shawna Shuler on December 22, 2010 at 8:11pm
Hi Im Shawn,  I recently lost my fiance 11-13-10 he suffered a year long battle with lung cancer he was diagnosed in 12-09 he was at stage 3 b he did his chemo and radiation and we thought he was getting better.  His doctors were optomistic but 6 months later it traveled to his brain they gave him 2 years.  He was in and out of the hospital 3 or 4 x a month and when he was home I did my best to take care of him.  About 6 months after that we found it had traveled to his spine as well once that was diagnosed he deteriorated so fast.  He went into a coma the morning of 11-13-10 and I was told he would stay that way but he might rally one last time...he died in our home with our two young sons awake at 8:15pm that night.  I dont know how to deal with all this right now i just feel numb and like Im in a daze but yet Im angry and I just dont know just wish I could turn back time and have him back he was my best friend, my soul mate, my childrens father, my everything
Comment by michael sandoval on December 22, 2010 at 6:46pm
Denise and I met in April 08 and by June of 08 we were living together and wanting to get married.  we celebrated Christmas together and planned our trip to India.  She felt sick just before we left for India, was sick for most of the three weeks we were in India.  We we came back she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and had surgery on 21 may 09.  Complications set in and after just one Chemo therapy session, she passed away on 21sept09.  I haven't been the same since.  And sometimes i feel like I am getting worse.
Comment by Tabatha K. on August 4, 2010 at 11:33pm
Hello! I lost my Pops almost 10 mths ago after a battle w/ liver cancer. We found out in July & he passed away in October ( on my niece's birthday). I thought the ache was supposed to ease over time??!! The hole in my chest continues to ravage me & at the oddest times.
Comment by K on July 24, 2010 at 4:46am
My name is Kimberly. I'm 24 years old and living in the beautiful Bay Area of California. I'm getting married September 12, 2010 to my best friend, my other half, and for that, I am extremely exciting. Photography is my passion and after September, I am starting my own freelance company. I'm extremely exciting for that, too.


I'm on Online Grief Support because February 12, 2010, I lost my grandfather after a long and painful illness. His end was not a pleasant one and though I will never regret being by his side during his pain, it DID have a profound affect on me. It has been very difficult, to say the least. He was my friend, my mentor, my guide in life, my strength, a father-figure, and my angel. I'm trying to learn how to live with the loss of him.

So...that's me.
Comment by roxydee on July 21, 2010 at 2:12pm
My best friend and husband passed away 1.29.09. He died of hepatitis c end of life liver damage officially but possibly it was because his heart was broken. It's hard to put into words the horrific journey that started 2/29/08, with a pitstop from 12/9/08 and ended 1/29/09. I flew out to pick up my husband from a hospital in Michigan to home in California...Having him incarcerated 10 months unfairly only to return home to die - words can't express how angry and hurt i feel. Our wedding anniversary was on Monday, 7.19.10 and I don't know how to bear this aching that's dragging me downward again into a grief spiral. I am so angry and hurt. But it doesn't seem to end. This pain is as fresh as it was 1/29/09 and doesn't skip a beat...nor has it diminished. I still hate the heavens for taking him away, for eclipsing my joy and for ripping away the source of the most beautiful love I've ever known.
Comment by Lilly pizer on April 20, 2010 at 6:57pm
I lost my husband 11 years ago, my daughter was 8months old at the time. He had cancer and despite treatments, surgery, etc. He was considered terminal and ended up taking his life. Its been hard to be a single mom, its been hard to know that he made a choice to leave us, In my heart I believed he would get better, I have blamed God, I have blamed myself for not seeing the signs that were so obviosly present, but somehow I have been able to keep on plugging through this life... Of course i have a wonderful daughter that has been my main purpose for everything that I have accomplished after he died. I recently lost my best friend to ovarian cancer. Which has taken me back to that very lonely dark place and that is why I am here. I think I have a fear of connecting with people...because you just never know when they are going to leave you. I don't think the ache ever subsides its always there, you just dont notice it as much. Kind of like when you walk into a room that has some smelly garbage in it... you notice it right away, but the longer you are in the room the less you notice it. I know that is a weird analogy.... Besides my daughter, my life is pretty empty and I am just feeling like there is not much to look forward to. I started thinking that she is going to be 12 soon and when I really stop and think I have about 6 years with her and then she will be off to college, getting married, etc and I've taken a real deep look at my life and wonder what am I going to do with myself when she is gone... I don't have a life without her. That is really sad. Any thoughts?
Comment by Jodi Cole on March 7, 2010 at 12:22pm
Hi I'm Jodi and I'm here because I lost my mom who was my best friend six weeks ago tomorrow. She had lung cancer and the doctors told us that she only had probably 3 months to live and that's approximately what she lived. We watched her slowly day by day get a little worse until the end came and now that she's gone I just miss her so much and it seems to be getting worse as the time goes on.
 

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Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friends, I know it is going to be rough for all of us dealing again with the Holidays. Like Morgan I am tired of wearing my happy face, people think everything is okay and I have moved on. No, I have not moved on, everyday is pure Hell inside…"
5 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"know that one day we shall meet again.These lines motivate me to live. Thanks Theressa. Just install Skype app in your mobile if you use smart phone and then add me as a contact. Rest is very simple. "
5 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I think you are doing great, better than I was at the point you are at, but you have a new child that helps you put your attention on.  You seem to be very kind, I don't know how to skype if I did I would lol Brett, yes I am going…"
5 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"i'm so truly sorry for your continuing pain. and not because i don't feel the loss and pain as we all do in our own way. i think the main reason i am continuing to keep on going is need to for my children. having two dependant children…"
7 hours ago
Virginia G and Avi are now friends
8 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, Linda, and morgan, I don't have much more to add beyond saying that after four years and three months it doesn't get all that much easier. The day to day practical things get easier over time, but the heavy heart, the constant,…"
9 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, Linda, and morgan, I don't have much more to add beyond saying that after four years and three months it doesn't get all that much easier. The day to day practical things get easier over time, but the heavy heart, the constant,…"
9 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Brett rightly said, people around us will not understand the grief or guilt.  Virginia, this was unfortunate but a bit hilarious as well. I can understand how hard that lady would have tried to convince you but all futile. "
10 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, every one of us is that person. All my life I was the funny kid in school and at work. I've heard it my whole life, "You don't have to entertain me." What a honking load of crap that was. When the jokes dried up, the…"
10 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  Today I texted a lady from bereavement group and asked what she was doing.  I was going to ask if she wanted to get something to eat.  She mistakenly sent me a text that was intended for her boyfriend.  She told him that she…"
10 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, if you are available on skype please send me request at avitiwari26@gmail.com.  Lets have a call someday. "
11 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good to hear from you Avi. I think about all of you and hope you are doing well. I worry about my sister Theresa. I have a feeling that I know what you are going through. I think I am going through the same thing. Bluebell, I hope you are well,…"
11 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm not able to pinpoint what is happening from one moment to the next but I am watching myself become more viscerally emotional again.  I am missing him.  It is becoming another extended seasonal rocky road of remembering what I had…"
11 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  I hope you are fighting well with your grief. Last week it was Diwali festival in India so was stuck up in family events etc. All were enjoying and I was just doing what was expected from me."
11 hours ago
Kevin Bailey posted a status
"The pain last as long as your love for them last."
12 hours ago
Kevin Bailey updated their profile
12 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"hi linda. thanks for reply i'm ordering 4 NURF guns and after xmass lunch we are going to chase each other around the house and shoot the kids (more like miss the kids and over exaggerate being hit by the kids). that and a few beers seemed to…"
12 hours ago
Monty and M Adams are now friends
19 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Monty, It is very hard to try to find happiness during the Holidays as they will never be the same. The Community Hospice has a workshop called "Hope for the Holidays." I go every year and they give you ideas on how to make your…"
Friday
Monty replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"thanks ill check it out I've been accessing support though  https://www.grief.org.au"
Friday

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