When will the ache subside?


When will the ache subside?

A group for people who have lost loved ones with prolonged suffering. For those of us who have seen that the end is coming, and had to watch the ones we love creep toward it.

Members: 77
Latest Activity: Oct 16, 2017

Discussion Forum

It still aches, but I am able to cope with it better. 5 Replies

I have cried my eyes out for a year and a few months since my adorable husband passed away.  We were married 44 years, and it was our second marraige and we were as close as any two could possibly…Continue

Started by Georgia Garrison. Last reply by kathleen akin Aug 19, 2016.

Intros... 14 Replies

Who are you? Why are you here? Tell me about yourself.

Started by Desiree. Last reply by Tracey Bottoms Jan 29, 2012.

Intro 3 Replies

My name is Julie, I lost my sweet dad to Colon cancer feb 2005 and my dearest mom in august 2009 one day shy of her 68th bday.  I have no family to speak of, I have half siblings but we only know…Continue

Started by Julie Dolsey-Weiss. Last reply by Sue Waxman Jul 24, 2011.

Waking up from dreaming of my hubby today 2 Replies

today i woke up froma dream about jason and i of course bawled my eyes out when i woke up. dreaming of him is always so hard for me. even i don't see his face its like hes all up inside my head and…Continue

Started by roxydee. Last reply by roxydee Mar 15, 2011.

Comment Wall


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Comment by michael sandoval on January 2, 2011 at 5:47pm
Hi All. The last few days, the entire holiday season has been really horrible. The new year has not been happy and happiness is something I cannot remember very well. I really hope that this heavy sadness and depression will subside soon. It's been over a year for me since I lost my Denise and sometimes I feel like it is just too much for me.
Comment by Shawna Shuler on December 22, 2010 at 8:11pm
Hi Im Shawn,  I recently lost my fiance 11-13-10 he suffered a year long battle with lung cancer he was diagnosed in 12-09 he was at stage 3 b he did his chemo and radiation and we thought he was getting better.  His doctors were optomistic but 6 months later it traveled to his brain they gave him 2 years.  He was in and out of the hospital 3 or 4 x a month and when he was home I did my best to take care of him.  About 6 months after that we found it had traveled to his spine as well once that was diagnosed he deteriorated so fast.  He went into a coma the morning of 11-13-10 and I was told he would stay that way but he might rally one last time...he died in our home with our two young sons awake at 8:15pm that night.  I dont know how to deal with all this right now i just feel numb and like Im in a daze but yet Im angry and I just dont know just wish I could turn back time and have him back he was my best friend, my soul mate, my childrens father, my everything
Comment by michael sandoval on December 22, 2010 at 6:46pm
Denise and I met in April 08 and by June of 08 we were living together and wanting to get married.  we celebrated Christmas together and planned our trip to India.  She felt sick just before we left for India, was sick for most of the three weeks we were in India.  We we came back she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and had surgery on 21 may 09.  Complications set in and after just one Chemo therapy session, she passed away on 21sept09.  I haven't been the same since.  And sometimes i feel like I am getting worse.
Comment by Tabatha K. on August 4, 2010 at 11:33pm
Hello! I lost my Pops almost 10 mths ago after a battle w/ liver cancer. We found out in July & he passed away in October ( on my niece's birthday). I thought the ache was supposed to ease over time??!! The hole in my chest continues to ravage me & at the oddest times.
Comment by K on July 24, 2010 at 4:46am
My name is Kimberly. I'm 24 years old and living in the beautiful Bay Area of California. I'm getting married September 12, 2010 to my best friend, my other half, and for that, I am extremely exciting. Photography is my passion and after September, I am starting my own freelance company. I'm extremely exciting for that, too.

I'm on Online Grief Support because February 12, 2010, I lost my grandfather after a long and painful illness. His end was not a pleasant one and though I will never regret being by his side during his pain, it DID have a profound affect on me. It has been very difficult, to say the least. He was my friend, my mentor, my guide in life, my strength, a father-figure, and my angel. I'm trying to learn how to live with the loss of him.

So...that's me.
Comment by roxydee on July 21, 2010 at 2:12pm
My best friend and husband passed away 1.29.09. He died of hepatitis c end of life liver damage officially but possibly it was because his heart was broken. It's hard to put into words the horrific journey that started 2/29/08, with a pitstop from 12/9/08 and ended 1/29/09. I flew out to pick up my husband from a hospital in Michigan to home in California...Having him incarcerated 10 months unfairly only to return home to die - words can't express how angry and hurt i feel. Our wedding anniversary was on Monday, 7.19.10 and I don't know how to bear this aching that's dragging me downward again into a grief spiral. I am so angry and hurt. But it doesn't seem to end. This pain is as fresh as it was 1/29/09 and doesn't skip a beat...nor has it diminished. I still hate the heavens for taking him away, for eclipsing my joy and for ripping away the source of the most beautiful love I've ever known.
Comment by Lilly pizer on April 20, 2010 at 6:57pm
I lost my husband 11 years ago, my daughter was 8months old at the time. He had cancer and despite treatments, surgery, etc. He was considered terminal and ended up taking his life. Its been hard to be a single mom, its been hard to know that he made a choice to leave us, In my heart I believed he would get better, I have blamed God, I have blamed myself for not seeing the signs that were so obviosly present, but somehow I have been able to keep on plugging through this life... Of course i have a wonderful daughter that has been my main purpose for everything that I have accomplished after he died. I recently lost my best friend to ovarian cancer. Which has taken me back to that very lonely dark place and that is why I am here. I think I have a fear of connecting with people...because you just never know when they are going to leave you. I don't think the ache ever subsides its always there, you just dont notice it as much. Kind of like when you walk into a room that has some smelly garbage in it... you notice it right away, but the longer you are in the room the less you notice it. I know that is a weird analogy.... Besides my daughter, my life is pretty empty and I am just feeling like there is not much to look forward to. I started thinking that she is going to be 12 soon and when I really stop and think I have about 6 years with her and then she will be off to college, getting married, etc and I've taken a real deep look at my life and wonder what am I going to do with myself when she is gone... I don't have a life without her. That is really sad. Any thoughts?
Comment by Jodi Cole on March 7, 2010 at 12:22pm
Hi I'm Jodi and I'm here because I lost my mom who was my best friend six weeks ago tomorrow. She had lung cancer and the doctors told us that she only had probably 3 months to live and that's approximately what she lived. We watched her slowly day by day get a little worse until the end came and now that she's gone I just miss her so much and it seems to be getting worse as the time goes on.

Members (77)



Latest Activity

Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
21 hours ago
M Adams left a comment for Jarvis
"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
22 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
Profile IconThere are 14187 members on Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Profile Icon13 new members joined during the past week
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, since talking to you last I have been searching for a natural solution to your issue. There are new supplements since I went through this about a year and a half ago, but my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about trying a new…"
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, I have been reading, going through a tough time with my friend her dog is getting ready to go to the rainbow bridge and that set me into anxiety.  My stomach is flaring up no matter what I eat.  I started to think about my mom…"
Profile IconAshley Gatehouse, Maria Allen and Lori Gersbeck joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Lori Gersbeck joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group

Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Crystal Parker posted photos
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "

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