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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce. Many of us have lost more than one person or event. Come share!

Members: 298
Latest Activity: Jun 27

Discussion Forum

My Story

When I was twelve my mother was murdered then my beloved sweet grandmother died when I was 18. My maternal grandfather died when I was 22. My maternal grandmother died when I was 33 and my final…Continue

Started by Christian Miller May 26.

Lost dad an wife within a month.

On March 12 my last living hero passed away from lung cancer. He is the greatest man ive ever known. He loved us all unconditionally no matter our mistakes. He was always honest and to the point and…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16.

When it rains, it pours!

I've lost 6 family members within a 20-month time period; our teen was recently diagnosed with a life-long mental illness, my spouse is underemployed and stressed, and I am unable to work due to our…Continue

Started by Holding on to Christ Jan 24, 2018.

Car accident and the a suicide 4 Replies

Hello. My name is sara. So on the 18th of feb at exactly 3pm my grandad passed away then at 3.02pm my nan died. They were involved in a massive car accident. And they were gone. That day change my…Continue

Started by Sara. Last reply by Sara Sep 12, 2017.

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Comment by dream moon JO B on May 5, 2020 at 3:19am

yes i did hav a cat cald lucy shes in spirtt 2 shes ok now 

i had 2 get pts in 2016 coz her body giv up on her kidny lungs hert 

i no wen viris goz we can all liv agan

i loss a frind 2 it 4 or 5 wks go 

non of her frinds cud say gudby to her only her mum dad sistrs wear alod to atnd funrelll 

i no gluvs is a nitemer werin thm evn wear mks on my fase im wear coz it cuts brethn off bit duz bean bean it riks grp its onlway i can get sum fres aier fredim it duz

i hav 2 get cat food for my 2 cats i do

Comment by Rhonda Partin-Sharp on May 4, 2020 at 9:44pm

JO B - I know the lockdowns are hard and it is natural to have a fear that our loved ones with dementia/alzheimers will forget us if they don't see us for a while, but it is better to keep them safe from the virus.  All we can do is pray for the and for the world until this pandemic is over - and do all we can do to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe like wear masks and gloves and adhere to social distancing.

It is hard to be away fro our churches too.  I know that is true.  It is the same though - better to be safe and not take the risk to spread the virus.  Does your church do online services.  If they don't, maybe you can get online for another church to hold you over until the pandemic is over and it is safe to go to church again.

I remember from when I used to be on here before that you had a cat named Lucy - am I remembering right?  If I remember right, I think you showed me a picture of her once and she was a mostly black cat.  Do I remember correctly?

I am glad the Spiritualist Church was able to give you comfort that your Dad is well again in the spirit world.  I think all of our loved ones are, but I guess sometimes it gives us a little peace to be reminded of that.  I know sometimes I'd like to have assurances that my departed loved ones are okay, but then I remember that faith is believing in what we can't see and I realized I must have faith that they are okay, because I probably can't get 100% solid irrefutable assurances while I'm still in this life.  But, so many people have had After Death Experiences that they shared that have slowly increased my faith that our loved ones are okay once they pass away.

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 24, 2020 at 1:45pm

yep

thert it wz

u

bth in homse coz of dem/alz

unlce dnt evn no i am it all moms gona fogget us evn mor so coz of loc doon

wen iv bean 2 sea her askin for deadd pepel gona sea her had 2 say thy bizzzy but in way thy r in spirtt wolrd 

evn got cond robbd in 2017 befr mum had 2 go in 2 restl caree coz i wz so exsorsdrd 

askin wear lucy is hvt got hert to tell her she died in 2016

but iv 2 cats 1 i namd aftr my dad othr 1 aftr my fav anit 

im missin churhc 2 bean goin sinse 2018 

wear luvd got trhu  my dads got trhu bit he haz it spirtlsht churchh

his well agan in spirtt wolrd 

Comment by Rhonda Partin-Sharp on April 24, 2020 at 1:20pm

Hi JO B - I don't know if you remember me.  We used to talk a lot but I haven't had time to be on this group for a couple of years because I was a caregiver for several family members in a row and the longer it went on the more tired I got to the point with the last couple I took care of I just couldn't seem to do much beyond take care of them.  I did talk a bit on Facebook but haven't really had time to be on here.  I have bad legs and when they would start to hurt I would sit down for five minutes on Facebook to rest them and then get back to work.  It's a little harder to do five minute breaks on a group like this where people need to talk, so slowly over time I kept getting on less and less until for the last couple of years I wasn't getting on at all.  I'm sorry we lost touch due to that and I'm sorry that your losses continue.  It must be so hard not to be able to see your Mom and does ulc mean uncle, because of the coronavirus lock downs.  I am so sorry you are going through that, but it is better to stay safe.

I still remember some of your stories after your Dad passed away, like taking balloons to his grave and having them pop as a way to let you know he was with you.  So much love you had for your Dad.  I will always remember your stories.  I am so sorry you lost him and I hope you will soon be able to get into the nursing homes and see your Mom and Uncle. 

God bless you.

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 9, 2020 at 4:54pm

hi 

sorry on evry 1

havin a 

loss

sinse 2012 for me its me  me me its bean a rolcoster of loss or bad stuff  goin on

dad dies in 2012 thn mom gets dem/alz it min i cnt go sea her coz her faslty is in loc doon 

my ulc got alz/dem parkson  he duz in faslty loc doon to he is

luccy my fur kid dies it got me trhu darkk mometss of my losess she did coz of al stuff goin my anstyy lelivls is trhu roof it is 

i mno it min evry thng iv took for grantdedd is bean tok way 

Comment by Rhonda Partin-Sharp on April 9, 2020 at 4:29pm

Jeneley, thank you for having the courage to share your story here.  I am so sorry for all you are going through.  I can totally understand why you are feeling fear and anxiety and why you feel like you are not as high performing as you used to be.  Losing someone under the best of circumstances can make us feel fear and anxiety, but having a person murdered increases that fear and anxiety a lot.  Add to that losing a child and that is always harder, too.  Children are supposed to outlive us.  Then, adding this COVID-19 fears on top of the fears you already have and no wonder you feel like you are not as productive as you used to be.  I hope I don't offend by calling you Sweetie, but my family is from the South and that is the first word that comes out of our mouths when we have great empathy for someone's situation.  Sweetie, you have been through heck.  I wish there was a magic wand I could wave over you or a pill/medicine that could make this all go away, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way.  You might want to consider seeing a doctor for temporary anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication just to take the edge off and get you through the worst of it, but other than that all you can do is feel what you are feeling and you have every reason to feel your feelings.  Your feelings are normal, so please don't beat yourself up for them or for being less productive.  Be patient with yourself.  Be easy with yourself.  Take the time you need to get to the other side of these emotions and don't let anyone else tell you how long it should take.  I remember when my Mom passed away.  She was my world, my mother and my closest friendship.  People would tell me that I would eventually feel better and I couldn't believe them.  I couldn't believe there was another side to that pain.  It took a while (and I'm not going to say how long for fear that will put a timeline on you) but one day I woke up and realized that I could breathe normally again and then I knew that they were right that it does get better.  I still miss her and I will always miss her, but I'm not in such intense grief that I can't imagine feeling anything else any more.  Is it possible that you could take some time off work, especially with this COVID-19 thing going on, and that will alleviate some of your fears about the virus as well as give you some time to grieve.  In many states, unemployment is being quickly approved with no look for work requirement until the COVID-19 quarantines are over, so you could still have some money coming in.  If you could get some time off work and get some temporary anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds to take the edge off maybe it would make these early days when the pain is most intense a little easier for you.  I am so sorry for all you are going through.  I hope you find enough support on this group and elsewhere to help you get through this very difficult time.

Comment by Jeneley on April 3, 2020 at 4:35pm

Hello,

Last year, I lost my sister and niece (not mother and daughter). My sister was 35, pregnant with her second child, and was murdered by her boyfriend. 6 weeks after her death, we lost my other sister daughter. Im extremely close to my nieces. She was only 5 years old. 

Since then, no justice for my sister and no improvement in my state of mind. I have a very challenging job and prior to last year, I was high performing and very focused. I cant seem to find my way out of this. Fear and anxiety, has found a host in my body. I live in a different state from my family and this pandemic has my anxiety through the roof. Seems harder to get a grip of my emotions lately. 

Comment by Rhonda Partin-Sharp on March 25, 2020 at 2:14pm

Hi.  I'm new to this group.  I've been on a group for losing my Mom and my Dad and there have been others I've lost that I never got in a group for.  My father-in-law passed away on March 14.  I'm sadder than I thought I'd be.  I've been a caregiver for a lot of the people I lost including living with my father-in-law for a while taking care of him.  I'm just sad.  I'm sad he's gone.  I'm sad he suffered at the end.  I'm sad for mistakes I made that I can't forgive myself for.  I'm sad because I'm remembering all of the other people I lost like I'm grieving them again.  I just sad.

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 29, 2018 at 11:08pm

Hi. I used to belong to just the "I Miss My Mom" because I lost my Mom in Feb 14th 2017. April 9th...20 days ago, my sister's husband died suddenly. It is effecting me not only because I love my sister and really admired her husband, but also because this is another loss so soon after the first. For my sister, it is a double whammy because both of us were close to Mom and still mourn her loss. This is bringing back up a lot of sadness and tears are falling as I write this.

Bluebell

Comment by Kris Baclawski on January 23, 2018 at 12:19pm

My apologies to you, Hannah, for my misinterpretation.   I now understand what your counselor was saying.  Yes, finding people who understand is extremely helpful for sharing.  Oddly enough, I find great comfort in my working on genealogy.  Learning how they lived and the struggles they survived are testimonials to the human spirit.  My best to you all.

 

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