Has a year really gone by that fast? I'm sitting outside, the sun is out and TV's weather beutiful. Only I sit alone. Annette and I sat next to each other every day and talked about how the birds chirp led and squirrels could race past us. Arrying thief munchies to their nests.
All that is gone. I sit alone, my breathing today is at it's worse. Even when we were obese we suffered together. It made us appreciate life so much more. Now the pain of grief and body makes life beyond unfulfilling. There's no one to speak to , hold hands with. Kiss, caress. Guilt's my companion now. The guilt of not having done enough to save her. I know deep in my heart I could have. My failure as a husband, I suppose will Haunt me until my dying days. And when I'm reunited with Annette she'll say to me "There was nothing to forgive, you were a great husband, it's time to go now, let's watch the sky and hold hands."
Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
"Hi there. Brett, you were (are) totally right -- I was and think I still am in shock. There was so much to do, and with my kid to take care of, I wasn't processing. At all.
Still not. I didn't get to say goodbye. She was in a…"
"As Brett suggests, you sure can be griefstricken without feelings of guilt -- for me guilt doesn't seem relevant to my deep sadness about losing my mother. It's more a combination of loneliness, shock, emptiness, disappointment…"
David is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time.
On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
No happiness. Nothing to look forward to. Constant pain. Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them. Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden. how could life be so cruel? It’s just not possible.See More
Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses. Finally got them done. I just miss my mother so much. I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen to…See More
"On the surface our situations could hardly be more different -- my mother just died, she was 84 years old and had numerous health problems the last five years -- but reading your words touched me, somehow I felt like they were my own, the…"