I come here to read posts and on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the hardest, we are at infinity.  Having to manage the death of our beloved spouse (him or her) is definitely off the charts.  From reading here after three years I have come to see and feel that all of us even with different circumstances have some major things in common which is why this site is such a lifeline.  I have listed them and would like to share them.  These are from all of you but I think resonate as the exact same feelings we each have.


the people I thought would be there for me have left

Seems like 1 step forward and 3 steps back.

I am an adult, and don't understand the meaning of death at all

I'm existing and will make it through this because I don't have a choice

knowing I'm not going through this all alone is definitely helpful

I feel guilty

my husband ……we didn't have anything in order.  So I spend my days on the phone trying to figure things out.  

My mom lost her husband …..I didn't realize until now how terrible it must have been for her.

I still just can't get over the absence and everything I do is done with great effort and sadness

The only energy I really have is anxiety…… I just try to re-channel it

it takes me forever for my brain to claw through the deep fog ……..and sort of wake up

loss has changed who I am

No one will ever love me again like that

I miss him……. so bad it physically hurts

memories that literally hold me hostage

….. was my best friend,  my rock

Now im left behind trying to cope

no one has taken the time to ask how i am…. Everyone seems to expect me to just cope

I miss touch

i feel like all im doing is whining about how bad things are

it is like an episode of the Twilight Zone

When he passed my happily ever after went with him

I am sorry that any of us are here

count this as a good day as I am one day closer to joining him

a horrible dream that we would wake up from

I have to take it one second, one minute, one hour at a time

the world is still moving and don't realize that I am at a standstill

I know he's with me in spirit, but I can't hold him or touch him

I wonder if a person can just will themselves to die.

my family thinks I should be done grieving but I cannot….. I pretend to be ok

I am struggling and I need help

can not even make a decision without getting all confused

I cry every day wanting to know why I could not go with him

Half of me is gone

I'm trying to do things but i dont know how to cope

None of us ever expect this amount of pain and we are all trying to manage it the best we can

everything is a gargantuan effort

alone and broken

There is NO time limit for grief

Until they experience the same gut wrenching life altering loss  that we have experienced, they haven't a clue

All my ups and downs, everything I feel, he was always the first one to know and to understand

Noise, movement, music - practically anything would put my nervous system on excruciating torment


To close:

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

Views: 173

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

im sp mest up coz of so mush loss


Latest Activity

dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8
Profile IconBev R, Kelly Darnell and Wil McGregor joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
Sep 8
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thinking of you John T.  I understand.  "
Sep 7
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me.  The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it.  All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
Sep 7
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife.  I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day.  Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Sep 7
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
Sep 4
Joe Kelly left a comment for Maria
"Maria, The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit.  I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago.  We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"
Sep 3

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service