Does anyone feel like daylight is for happy people and it feels strange?  The whole world around me feels as if I don’t belong in it.  I sleep during the day a lot, then am up at night but then when you need to talk, everyone is asleep.

Views: 175

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I do not believe so Virginia. Daylight is for everybody inckuding mme and you who are in grief for their mother's loss. 

It is a time when you can hear to people, talk to people and share their grief and sorrow.

I feel as though life is for happy people, and I don't belong in it. They are in one world, the "real" world, and I am in some dark alternative reality. This world literally does not feel real to me anymore; I am no longer a part of it.

To a lesser extent, I feel as you do about day and night, except I don't want to talk to anyone at either time. in your case, if you do want to talk to people during the night, I think there are a couple of options. If you have any family or friends who you know are night owls who would be awake when you need to talk, you could speak to them during the day one day and ask them if it would be ok for you to call them at night now and then, when you need to talk (and find out what is the latest it would be ok to call them).  If that isn't an option, then maybe you could find some sort of grief counseling line that is staffed at night; failing that, you could always try calling a suicide helpline (even if you aren't suicidal, maybe they could help).

Bluebird,

I used to be a night owl, my Mom and I would watch tv until very late.  Now I’m afraid to even watch it.  I have been sleeping more and more but that doesn’t even feel good.  I feel exactly as you do about life and the world.  Nothing makes sense, I don’t know why I’m here, I can’t live like this.

Virginia,

I thought of some things, but I wanted to ask you some stuff, without making any presumptions.  Do you feel like you don't deserve to be happy like what you are seeing of the people you are seeing during the day?  Do you feel you can't enjoy life, and cope with some difficulties, and be happy?  I feel happiness can come in many forms, from seeing others happy, having hope for a good life, healing from pain, and more.  I agree having a compassionate friend to speak with can be so helpful, and keeping in thoughts that we all have responsibilities to ourselves and can also care about others will make that relationship that much more helpful.  I think resources such as reading helpful literature that is honest and relatable, helpful artistic expression, and more, can also make healing easier, and living happier

Hey, I read your post.  I think I've gone through some of what you've felt.  Why do you feel as if you shouldn't live a happy life?  Have you removed yourself from some aspects of the reality of life to dull yourself of pain, and avoid some possible difficulties on your road to recovery?  Maybe handling things at the right pace, and as I think you may understand, seeking and utilizing the optimal means of support will be the best methodology in living a happy, enjoyable life.  Another area of thought is I'm not stating that you do feel resentful, or should feel resentful.  A question with and  an answer that may apply to you, or may possibly apply to other readers, is that if there is pain due to past difficulties in your life, and causing resentment of the happiness of yourself and others, why let it harm the happiness of your life and the happiness of other people?  This may be helpful to you, or possibly other readers: I've learned that I can be happy, others can be happy, I and others can be happy, and we can be happy together.  There happiness should not cause my pain, or cause me enjoying living life to relent.  I feel you haven't left and aren't leaving life, and much of it is learning and healing

Britt,

I think I am more jealous when I see other people, in particular families, because I don’t have mine now.  My world is upside down and I dont belong in it now.  I don’t feel as though I deserve to be happy because I have so much guilt.  And when I think of how my Mom suffered and what happened, I think it should have been me instead and that I should suffer too.

Virginia,

I appreciate the reply.  I've understood feelings of jealousy.  Are you having feelings of numbness relevant to society?  Are you feeling a desire to withdraw from it?  I'd like to have a good understanding of how you're feeling.  I don't like the thought of living things suffering, and I feel you deserve to enjoy life, without suffering

RSS

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
yesterday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue.  Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves.  In reality, most of my underlying…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
Saturday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Saturday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service