Does anyone feel like daylight is for happy people and it feels strange?  The whole world around me feels as if I don’t belong in it.  I sleep during the day a lot, then am up at night but then when you need to talk, everyone is asleep.

Views: 163

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I do not believe so Virginia. Daylight is for everybody inckuding mme and you who are in grief for their mother's loss. 

It is a time when you can hear to people, talk to people and share their grief and sorrow.

I feel as though life is for happy people, and I don't belong in it. They are in one world, the "real" world, and I am in some dark alternative reality. This world literally does not feel real to me anymore; I am no longer a part of it.

To a lesser extent, I feel as you do about day and night, except I don't want to talk to anyone at either time. in your case, if you do want to talk to people during the night, I think there are a couple of options. If you have any family or friends who you know are night owls who would be awake when you need to talk, you could speak to them during the day one day and ask them if it would be ok for you to call them at night now and then, when you need to talk (and find out what is the latest it would be ok to call them).  If that isn't an option, then maybe you could find some sort of grief counseling line that is staffed at night; failing that, you could always try calling a suicide helpline (even if you aren't suicidal, maybe they could help).

Bluebird,

I used to be a night owl, my Mom and I would watch tv until very late.  Now I’m afraid to even watch it.  I have been sleeping more and more but that doesn’t even feel good.  I feel exactly as you do about life and the world.  Nothing makes sense, I don’t know why I’m here, I can’t live like this.

Virginia,

I thought of some things, but I wanted to ask you some stuff, without making any presumptions.  Do you feel like you don't deserve to be happy like what you are seeing of the people you are seeing during the day?  Do you feel you can't enjoy life, and cope with some difficulties, and be happy?  I feel happiness can come in many forms, from seeing others happy, having hope for a good life, healing from pain, and more.  I agree having a compassionate friend to speak with can be so helpful, and keeping in thoughts that we all have responsibilities to ourselves and can also care about others will make that relationship that much more helpful.  I think resources such as reading helpful literature that is honest and relatable, helpful artistic expression, and more, can also make healing easier, and living happier

Hey, I read your post.  I think I've gone through some of what you've felt.  Why do you feel as if you shouldn't live a happy life?  Have you removed yourself from some aspects of the reality of life to dull yourself of pain, and avoid some possible difficulties on your road to recovery?  Maybe handling things at the right pace, and as I think you may understand, seeking and utilizing the optimal means of support will be the best methodology in living a happy, enjoyable life.  Another area of thought is I'm not stating that you do feel resentful, or should feel resentful.  A question with and  an answer that may apply to you, or may possibly apply to other readers, is that if there is pain due to past difficulties in your life, and causing resentment of the happiness of yourself and others, why let it harm the happiness of your life and the happiness of other people?  This may be helpful to you, or possibly other readers: I've learned that I can be happy, others can be happy, I and others can be happy, and we can be happy together.  There happiness should not cause my pain, or cause me enjoying living life to relent.  I feel you haven't left and aren't leaving life, and much of it is learning and healing

Britt,

I think I am more jealous when I see other people, in particular families, because I don’t have mine now.  My world is upside down and I dont belong in it now.  I don’t feel as though I deserve to be happy because I have so much guilt.  And when I think of how my Mom suffered and what happened, I think it should have been me instead and that I should suffer too.

Virginia,

I appreciate the reply.  I've understood feelings of jealousy.  Are you having feelings of numbness relevant to society?  Are you feeling a desire to withdraw from it?  I'd like to have a good understanding of how you're feeling.  I don't like the thought of living things suffering, and I feel you deserve to enjoy life, without suffering

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our last trip together, cruise to the Bahamas. What a great memory."
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
Friday
Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
Thursday
Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Thursday
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Wednesday
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Tuesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
Tuesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
Tuesday
Profile IconMichelle and Amanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 18
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When your ‘life force’ is taken away from you there is no will to go on.  It will be 5 years for me soon and many people think my grief has subsided as I seem to be functioning better, but as I said earlier we just become more adept…"
Mar 17
dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
"do not no wen dad died i loss my way for long tim u cud  say i did im f i am'thn loss folerd evn my cat i had for 16 yrs in 2016 wish she got me thru few dark tims she did  thn i gon to spirtaslt churchh  fond upliftmtn i di did…"
Mar 17

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service