When was your first visit to the cemetary after the burial?

It has been almost 3 weeks since my husband suddenly died.  Father's Day is looming.  I contemplate going to the cemetary Sunday with or without my small children.  I am scared to death.  Thoughts on the first visit to the cemetary would be appreciated.  I am dreading Sunday.  I bought my own father his cards from me and the children and had to almost run out of the store before I saw any "Husband" or "Daddy" cards.  I don't know what to do. 

Views: 285

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I went one week after and had a good cry at the grave site.  I have been back several times and each time gets better although the sadness is still with me.  I am looking forward to visiting her many times of the coming months.
Thank you David.  I know 3 weeks is a little longer than most people.  Tomorrow will be three weeks since I last saw him alive. 

It is really hard when you lose someone close, I lost my Grandma in December 2010, the first time I went to visit her at the cemetery, it just felt so weird, like its not happening, but after a few visits I felt at peace there knowing I can talk to her and I feel good when I am there.  I visit with her at least 2-3 times a week.

 

I recommend you stop in and visit with your husband, you will find it comforting.  I hope this helps. *HUG*

I am so nervous anticipating the visit tomorrow.  I am going to do it with my best friend.  Oh my god, I miss him so much.  I don't understand how anyone can get through this.  I think I am still in shock.  I appreciate your positve response.

Thank you Resee.  I also feel closer to my husband right here in our house.  I did not make it to the cemetary yesterday.  I just could not do it.

I have been going back everyday for the last month since my wonderful sister died - hardest was the first time I went on my won a few hours after funeral.. I fell onto of the flowers and was trying to get physicallty close to her.. I had to force myseld not to try to take her out..

 My parents go there at least once a day to put fresh flowers and see her.. It is not easy - it i never easy but feel the need to goo.. there are days I feel OKish - there are many  more days when I go that I feel that this cannot be real.. It kills me to see that my younger gorgeous sister is down there... I feel the need to take her out and hold her in my arms.. I miss her physical self so much.....

I go there and talk to her...kiss her photo, light  candle... on my happy-ier days there it so happens that there  is a beautiful purple butterfly there always zooming around me or my twins or just standing there.. I feel it is her - I have had several unusual encounters... makes me feel good even if most people would dismiss these as pure coincidences...

Thinking of you....nadia

 

I didn't get to the grave site until almost a year after my dad's funeral.  I'm living a long way away... and it was hard not having seen it.  The whole distance thing at times is really hard.  My mom did what she could for me... sent me a picture but it's not the same.  So when I went... I got some flowers for my dad's grave and for my uncle's grave (he died a few months after my dad).

What's seems right for me may not necessarily be right for someone else, but I have been to my son Marty's grave every day

since he died.  It has been 17 months.  It helps me to go, sit and talk to him.  Someday's as I walk up the hill to his grave I just can't believe this is the way my life has turned out to be.  I keep flowers on there according to the seasons.  He was a big UNC Tarheel fan and I always keep UNC flags and wind chimes there.  It helps me to know I'm doing something he liked. It's still like a nightmare the way he died in the hospital after a routine heart procedure. I will never have peace with what happened,  I tell him this everyday and what is happening in the world that he no longer can enjoy

  I guess I am in a diffrent place tham those of you who have writen here. Because we cremated my son who died April 17. And he has been with me on the dresser waiting for the snow to melt on the mountin. We had a wonderful celabration to his life. A big BBQ where everyone could come and talk about the time they share what part of the lives they spent with him. An Because everyone is having troubled that was wonderful. It was much better than a traditionnal funeral. That is what he wanted. He didn't want to waste the money on a funeral. That's what he would say anyway.

  But now I have another problem it is letting go. I am dreding the day we take his ashes to the mountin to scatter his ashes. I know he will be with those who care because his grandmother grandfather and cousin who'sd ashes are scattered there also. I am having the trouble letting go. I talk to him all the time. I live alone so I only had him living with me before he died. We lived together no body called or come to see us then. and still don't come. I will be very lonly when his ashes are gone. But I am sure no one will understand how I feel. So I don't think I can talk to them about it. I think I will get a small attractive jar. And keep a small amount of him for my heart. I know it sounds strange. I know it sounds strange to most because they are having the other people going to the grave site

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service