As I said in my last discussion I was going to share some of the things that I do to help me cope a little better from day to day. 

Please everyone remember to have patience with yourselves.  We have all been through a loss that is unimaginable.  Afterall, we are the parent, and our children should go before us, right? 

 

So to start off, I have learned that when I try not to deal with Brittainy being gone, ( like trying to suppress my feelings, try to stop thinking about her so I can avoid the pain), it makes me worse.  So I have been trying something new.  I know this may sound crazy, but I actually do things to make myself have a really good cry.  For instance, I put on some music, that is either something that reminds me of her, or something sad, (but try to keep the sad song an inspirational one).  I will cry as hard as I feel is necessary to let out all the emotions that I am suppressing.  I have found this actually makes me feel a lot better.  Sure, it may just be temporary, but it does help with the feelings that you need to let out. 

 

I have also found that when I get in a real rut.  Like not wanting to get up in the morning, feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to take care of myself, having panic attacks, or other symptoms.  I have been making myself take a shower, and while I am in the shower I listen to Christian Music.  But, you don't have to just listen to Christian music, you can listen to anything that makes you feel better.  Make sure that you are in a room where you can't be bothered by anyone for at least an hour.  Keep everyone away, so that you can have some "me" time.  This is unbelievably helpful. 

 

This is just for starters.  I am hoping that everyone jumps in a participates in this discussion.  Like I said in my last discussion that I posted, I would love for everyone to participate in this.  Not only comment on what I wrote, but let us all know what you are doing as well.  This could be so very helpful for everyone. Everyone's coping skills are different, so nothing you can say should be off limits.  There is nothing that anyone can put in this discussion that seems crazy, or too off the wall.  SO share, share share.   

 

I pray to hear from everyone soon.  With much Love and many Blessings on you and your family.  God Bless you all, Gyla Darden

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Replies to This Discussion

I do feel "better" after I cry, but it all seems so unreal that the tears just don't come for more than 30 seconds. I have moments of agony where I run from room to room or inside and outside, just to try and get away from myself. I call it my black hole and i don't know if I should run away from it or towards it

I feel the same way, I cant run from my self.The pain is physical every part of me hurts. My girl loved to laugh and I know she would not want me to be in pain and sad all the time so I try to put on a happy face but inside I am screaming how is the world still going on when Emily is dead??? When every one is laughing I am hurting....

I got my my old model car that my son fell in love with when he saw us with it today..I find myself not wanting to leave the house, but, I did today. I cried when I got to a place safe and stop the car to talk to myself and cry. I did listen to the radio and cried some more.

Thank you I feel like if I dont cry every day then I might explode.Missing her is so very difficult. I grieved for my father since I was 4 now I will grive for my daughtet for the rest of my life...It hurts sooo very much

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