I lost my mom in June. It took me months to get used to not speaking with her a couple of times a day. I had to stop myself from calling her and telling her what her grandchilds just did. I was at a point where I had even good and bad days. Then I received my mom's W-2 in the mail last week and it all came back. I learned that I have to file her taxes from last year and I had to dig out her death certificate. I wanted to just lay in may bed and cry. The only reason that I don't is because of my kids. My kids give me strength. I started filing my mom's taxes and started filling the stress and grief pilin gon me. So I called my older sister who totally shut down on me. Its hard when you want to talk about how you are feeling but have no one to talk to because your siblings don't know how to be there for you. My husband tries but he doesn't know what I am going through. Right now I am sad and really want to talk about it with my sister, but she isn't there for me. I am always there for her. Who do I turn to for support in my grief when my family is unaccessabile. I signed up for this community but never posted because I wasn't ready. I am now because at this point I would call my mom and discuss how I don't get the support I need from my older siblings but I can't. 

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I'm really sorry to hear about your mother (even though I'm sure you're tired of hearing that phrase)...I can relate, though. I lost my mother in October. I'm 19 years old with no children, so I can't relate to the children aspect of your story but I understand how you're feeling. I'm just now starting to pull out of the numbness stage and into actually feeling the pain of the loss, and it's incredibly difficult. 

I know it probably doesn't help much, but please feel free to contact me if you need to talk to someone. You'll be in my prayers. <3 

Thank you extended the offer Chelsea. I would like to contact you to talk. I am sorry for your loss. I'm at thee point where I try to be positive and remember good memories but sometimes the loss and sadness get the best of me. I know how you feel. You can contat me anytime you need to. I will be available.

I know what you mean. I can't wait until I'm at the point where I can remember good times/memories without constantly being plagued with the looming sadness. Those days will come in time, I'm sure... they just seem kind of distant at this point.

And the same goes to you, as well. I'm always a good listening ear if you need someone to talk to at anytime.

Kahila,I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom on May 29 2011. I can totally relate to what you are going through. My sibblins are handling it much better than I and I find it hard to talk to them about it anymore. The other day I texted my sister about how sad I was feeling and how I just wanted to  give up. Her response was, is it your husband causing you to feel this way? I was totally taken aback because I thought I didn't need to explain the source of my pain. I also live for my daughter, I'm in agony all day everyday but I have to stay on this earth for her sake. I had taken up drinking a glass of wine (or two) whenever I woke up with horrible thoughts about my mom but now I can't do that since I'm on a very strict diet. I'm finding myself facing every raw emotion several times a day. This is a tough journey and even tougher when you don't have anyone to turn to. We are here for you; this is a safe place to vent. I really appreciate everyone here.

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