As I read through the threads and blogs of those we have lost, it only causes me more confusion.  I have always believed in a higher power, that there is someone greater than us in the world we live in.  I am guilty of being upset that the Lord has chosen to take away my mom but I have to hold on to my faith.  It's the only thing keeping me up.  Loosing my mom so suddenly to cancer after only being diagnosed a month and a half in to her treatment seems so unfair.  The sorrow that we're left with to deal and try to move on from is almost impossible.  Having the love and support from family helps but not enough.  I want every night when I go to sleep to see or talk to her in my dreams and when that doesn't happen it anger me, creates more questions and doubts.   I pray that there is a God, one who is compassionate towards those left to grieve.   It's said "time heals all wounds" hard to imagine right now but desperately praying it to be true in these circumstances.

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Comment by Julia on June 28, 2015 at 8:28am
Thank you fashionlover for taking the time to respond and share your feelings with me. Be well.
Comment by fashionlover on June 27, 2015 at 8:42pm

I feel exactly the same. I have always had the strongest faith in God. My mother was very strong in her faith and we often spoke about when she crossed over.  I told her to never forget me and she told me she never could. I lay in bed at night and cry so hard because there is such a silence. A silence that I never expected. I wish I could dream about her, hear her voice see a vision of her. But so far I have only received a couple signs that she is ok and where she needs to be.  I too, think it is unfair that my mom was sick. My mom was sick for a long time. To be honest, I'm not sure what is worse, watching someone suffer and die slowly or someone dying suddenly. I don't think any of it is easier. What I do know is that I really wish that I did not have to watch my mom suffer for as long as she did. Those are the memories that are burned in my mind, that keep me awake at night. Prayer is truly the only thing that gets me through these dark days. So I think that counts for something. 

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