They say time will heal the pain but I don't think that will ever happen. I am extremely torn to pieces over the death of my daddy. The pain and random outbursts of sadness is overwhelming. My dad was still young and we still had so much more life planned. I'm so angry of why my daddy had to leave so suddenly and without any warning. It's almost as if its not real. It doesn't feel real and I just want to see him again.

I'm a daddys girl. Everything I did in life I did knowing he would be so proud of me. Now my daddys gone and I feel like my world is upside down. My emotions have been a complete roller coaster. Stuck between grieving his death and making sure my mom is ok. I worry about her every minute of the day.

God....Why can't you just give him back to me

We were on our very 1st of what was supposed to be many camping trips in his brand new camper he had just purchased 2 months prior. We BBQed, fished, and had a great day. I was eating breakfast the Sunday morning before heading back out there for the day when my phone rang and it was my daughter hysterical. Come now! Paw Paw is dead. I WILL NEVER forget those words. I was 45 minutes away and it felt like I couldn't get there fast enough. I called over and over again "give him CPR", "Call 911"...but it was too late he was gone. When I arrived my mom, daughter, and 2 brothers were outside with looks of devastation on their faces. I had to wait 4 hours before I could go in and say good bye. He looked so peaceful just sleeping. I laid with him and cried, screamed, begged but nothing would work. He was GONE! Everyone stayed at my house and the next week was a haze. I couldn't sleep the first night I cried all night long. This has been the most horrible pain I have ever experienced.

I  just want to breath again...

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