Have you ever felt helpless when someone near to you was grieving over the loss of a loved one? Sometimes we may feel unsure of what to say or do—so we wind up saying and doing nothing. But there are practical, helpful things that we can do.

Often, all that is needed is your presence along with a simple expression, such as “I am so sorry.” In many cultures, giving the person a hug or a gentle squeeze of the arm is an effective way to show you care. If the bereaved one wants to talk, listen sympathetically. Best of all, do something for the bereaved family, perhaps performing a chore the grieving one has not been able to care for, such as cooking a meal, caring for the children, or helping with funeral arrangements if that is desired. Such actions may speak louder than the most eloquent words.

In time, you may be moved to talk about the deceased, perhaps focusing on some good qualities or happy experiences. Such conversation may even bring a smile to the bereaved person’s face. For example, Pam—who lost her husband, Ian, six years ago—says: “People sometimes tell me good  things that Ian did that I never knew about, and that makes my heart feel good.”

Researchers report that many bereaved people receive a lot of initial help but that their needs are soon forgotten as friends get busy again with their own lives. Therefore, make a point of contacting a bereaved friend on a regular basis after the loss. * Many grieving ones deeply appreciate this opportunity to relieve themselves of prolonged feelings of grief.

Consider the example of Kaori, a young Japanese woman who was devastated by the loss of her mother followed by the loss of her older sister 15 months later. Thankfully, she received ongoing support from loyal friends. One named Ritsuko is much older than Kaori and offered to be her close friend. “To be honest,” says Kaori, “I wasn’t happy about that. I didn’t want anyone to take the place of my mother, and I didn’t think that anyone could. However, because of the way Mama Ritsuko treated me, I came to feel close to her. Every week, we went out in the evangelizing work together and went to Christian meetings together. She invited me to have tea with her, brought me meals, and wrote me letters and cards many times. Mama Ritsuko’s positive attitude had a good influence on me.”

Twelve years have passed since Kaori’s mother died, and today she and her husband are full-time evangelizers. “Mama Ritsuko,” Kaori says, “continues to show her concern. When I go back home, I always visit her and enjoy her upbuilding association.”

Another example of someone who benefited from ongoing support is Poli, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Cyprus. Poli had a kind husband, Sozos, who set a good example as a Christian shepherd by often inviting orphans and widows to their home for association and a meal. (James 1:27) Sadly, at the age of 53, Sozos died of a brain tumor. “I lost my loyal husband with whom I had spent 33 years of marriage,” says Poli.

After the funeral, Poli moved to Canada with her youngest son, 15-year-old Daniel. There, they began associating with a congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses. “The friends in my new congregation,” recalls Poli, “did not know anything about our past and our difficult circumstances. But that did not stop them from approaching us and embracing us with their kind words and practical help. How precious that help was, especially at that time, when my son needed his father most! Those taking the lead in the congregation showed a great deal of personal interest in Daniel. One in particular made sure to include Daniel when enjoying association with friends or when going out to play ball.” Both mother and son are doing well today.

To be sure, there are many ways we can offer practical help and comfort to those who mourn. The Bible also comforts us by means of a thrilling hope for the future.

https://www.jw.org/finder?docid=2016087&wtlocale=E&srcid=share

Views: 36

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Groups

Latest Activity

Shirelle posted a status
"My son died November 25 at 936 am and I have. Cried everyday I honestly don't know what to do I can't function at all what do I do?"
12 hours ago
Profile IconKatherine A Pericas Geersten, nikita and Katrina joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's…"
Tuesday
Sue M joined Kar's group
Thumbnail

Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
Tuesday
Sue M updated their profile
Tuesday
Profile IconSue M and Christine joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Monday
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Wow..you suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Monday
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
Monday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Sunday
Serenity is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
Jan 9
Profile IconShirelle, Rick Rilloraza, David Williams and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 9
Profile IconMichele Anderson and Phillip smith joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 6
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Just another year closer to death I pray."
Jan 6
Carlos Hunt is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 31, 2019
Ellis Gee replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I know this doesn’t help right now, but even this will pass—lt took me seven months. It may take you more or less time, but the agony you’re going through will end. You’re in my thoughts. Ellis"
Dec 28, 2019

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service