Katherine Ellis's Blog (8)

OUR ADOPTED SON IS DEAD TODAY

WE HAVE HAD A CRISIS HERE. JAMES' FRIEND AND OUR ADOPTED SON CHRIS WERE DRINKING IN THE GARAGE. THEY HAD BEEN DRINKING FOR A LONG TIME TODAY. WHEN I LEFT AROUND 1:30 TO GET MY HAIR DONE CHRIS ASKED ME TO BUY HIM A PACK OF CIGARETTES AND I SAID YES. WHEN I GOT HOME AROUND 4:30 JAMES WAS PAST OUT ON THE COUCH AND CHRIS HAS FALLEN ONTO THE FLOOR. I DIDN'T THINK MUCH ABOUT IT. ROGER CAME HOME A FEW MINUTES AFTER I DID AND TRIED TO GET CHRIS ONTO THE COUCH. CHRIS WAS DEAD. WE TRIED TO DO CPR ON HIM… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on July 24, 2009 at 8:29pm — 1 Comment

Another worry

Worried tonight. Husband went to specialist and news isn’t great. Doctor thinks he has a fatty liver. They are doing tons of blood work to find out why but doctor mentioned several reasons and none of them good. He is also scheduled for a liver biopsy to see how far the disease has progressed. Will I end up losing him like we did our daughter? Did the cancer come back? God how scared I am.

Added by Katherine Ellis on July 16, 2009 at 2:17am — 1 Comment

Angel Date

Nine years ago the clock stopped. The sun quit shining. The world stopped turning. How could it be nine years ago when it seems like yesterday? I can still see her lying on the ground, people so many people working on her. Then nothing. They said she was gone. Gone where I thought. I held her in my arms, screaming “my baby, my baby” over and over in my mind, in the air. God how could you take her? She wasn’t done. She had so much more work to do here. I need her. We need her. Am I having a… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on June 8, 2009 at 1:42am — No Comments

Irene's Birthday

Will there be Birthday cake and presents in heaven? Will all the angels sing Irene happy birthday? On the day she was born it was sunny, clear and warm. The first time I held her I thought my heart would break from joy. This tiny bundle, so fragile was mine. Thank you God.

As the years pasted she grew into this amazing intelligent, beautiful woman, who could make me laugh when no one else could. Her blue eyes and long blond hair lit up a room as she entered. We became more than Mother and… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on May 18, 2009 at 5:58am — 2 Comments

One Week From Today - May 11th

The sun will be coming up soon. As yet I've not gone to bed. What is the use when I can't sleep. The last time I went to the doctor he gave me something to help with that, but so far it hasn't done a thing. So most nights find me in front of my computer, a lot of times just staring into space.

One week from today and it will be Irene's 35th birthday. I wonder what she would look like. Would the tiny lines around her eyes be starting to show? Would she still have that long, long hair or… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on May 12, 2009 at 5:34am — 2 Comments

Mother's Day

What a bitter sweet day it is today. I'm trying to be happy for those still here by me, but my heart is heavy because my daughter, Irene is not here. What I wouldn't give to see her smile, hear her laughter just once more. Feel her arms around me for one more hugs. For all of us this is a hard day. I am praying for everyone as we walk through this day. I know that I am not alone. I have all of you. God bless you all and we shall make it through today, for we are all holding hearts and hands,

Added by Katherine Ellis on May 10, 2009 at 10:37am — 1 Comment

Thank you for caring

I couldn't beleive the support that I have recieved so far when I logged on today. In the death of our daughter I keep telling myself that we were lucky to have such a special relationship with her from the time she was young until the she was taken away from us. But that doesn't really help. The hole that is left in my heart is much to large to heal. I have more bad days than good. My family say I should get over it. Are they right? It has been almost 8 years now. The support I received here… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on April 26, 2009 at 5:54pm — 2 Comments

My Daughter

Greetings Everyone,

I have come here hoping to find some peace. I not only lost a daughter, but I lost my best friend. Irene was 27 year and 29 days old when she died in front of us that day. Her anniversary is coming up in June but her birthday was in May so this time of year gets hard for me. On top of that my husband had cancer and we're just getting through that. I'm feeling so alone and drepressed so I thought I'd like to reach out and see what happens. This will be the 8th year… Continue

Added by Katherine Ellis on April 26, 2009 at 2:10am — 9 Comments

Groups

Latest Activity

M Adams left a comment for Durga
"Dear Durga,  sorry that you’ve been brought low by the death of your mother, it is such a painful loss to bear.  There is a group here called I Miss My Mom that might be helpful to you.  My mother died nine months ago and this…"
12 hours ago
Profile IconDurga and Angela Hernandez joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
13 hours ago
Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Jul 17
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Jul 17
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Jul 17
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Jul 16
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15

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