Maxey's Blog (5)

Reason for Living

I have lately been thinking about why I am here now. After 55 years of being married to a wonderful, caring, loving man, I am now alone. I drift through the days wondering why I am here and why I have to stay here to endure loneliness, sadness, and depression. What is the purpose of this? Why can't I just go? I seem to be taking up space and each day is like the day before. I have friends and family, but, sorry to say, they just do not fill the void of having my husband with me. He was the one… Continue

Added by Maxey on February 7, 2017 at 9:41pm — 2 Comments

Ignore

Hi,

I see that John the Dragon has replied with anger to a post I submitted. I was already to send something back, and then I realized that I was going to be as childish and immature as he is being. My husband was a psychologist, and he would have told me to ignore this man and his flagrant disregard for the feelings of others. I think I am beginning to see that he NEEDS this attention we are giving him. It makes him feel important. Why else would someone try to inflict his feelings on… Continue

Added by Maxey on January 19, 2017 at 8:49pm — 1 Comment

Old Life, new life?

Many years ago, my husband and I were visiting Spain, and, after arriving at our hotel, I was exhausted. My husband decided to take a walk and said he would be back in about 30 minutes. After an hour passed, he still had not come back. I started to be mildly panicked. After two hours passed, I was almost in hysterics; I didn't know what to do - should I call the police, notify the hotel, what? I, in my panic, just sat on the bed and sobbed and sobbed. All of a sudden the door opened and my… Continue

Added by Maxey on January 4, 2017 at 3:45pm — 1 Comment

You are everything, and everything is you.

I keep hearing that song phrase over and over in my head, "you are everything, and everything is you." That is exactly how I feel about my beloved husband who left this earth just over a year ago.

I wish I could put into words the total feeling of loss and longing that I feel. My family is planning a trip and including me this Christmas. I will go along and pretend to have a good time; I will smile and chat,but, all the while, the real me is in a faraway place searching for memories of my… Continue

Added by Maxey on December 10, 2016 at 2:00am — 2 Comments

Any Signs

Many years ago when I was only 8 years old, my grandmother died. She, in essence, was my mother since my mine has passed when I was 6. The night my grandma died, I was sleeping in a small bed next to hers. She has been taken to the hospital while I was sleeping and died during the night. I awoke in the night, and keeping in mind that I was only 8 yrs. old, saw a cloud which looked like smoke above me to the right of my bed. I looked at it and wondered what it was. I heard my grandma say,… Continue

Added by Maxey on December 5, 2016 at 9:09pm — 4 Comments

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