Hi Tammi, yes, I'm just waiting for Christmas to be over.  I have not been able to do anything.  Our kids are adults so they understand.  It's the grandchildren I feel guilty about, but they will just get some money this year.  I really feel bad for Charles' little girl.  She is only 2 and I couldn't even think of anything to get for her.  Guess it's good that she is still too young to understand everything right now.  I'm still kind of hoping that I will feel like venturing out to a store, but not counting on it.  Hope you have been able to get things done for the kids.  I can't imagine how hard it must be for you.  Don't force yourself though.  Once it's over everyone tends to forget in a couple of days.  Never could understand why we drive ourselves crazy for one day especially since it has completely lost its real meaning.  Oh well.  You take care and know that I'm thinking of you.  Ann

I completely understand what you mean about people asking what happened.  I feel assaulted myself when they ask me.  Maybe they don't mean it in a wrong way, but I also feel like they are trying to find blame on his part.  I don't feel as though I need to explain everything to them now that he is gone.  Why didn't they care about him when he was here and needed them?  I loved him unconditionally and will miss him until the day I die, just as I'm sure you feel the same about Jeremy.  Charles was not just my son, we were also friends and that makes it harder for me as I haven't even been able to go out by myself because most of the time he would go with me.  I miss his company and I still find myself waiting for him to come in the door.  There are a lot of adjustments we are going to have to learn to live with, but I do hope you will find ways to cope.  I know and feel your pain and yet I can't change it for either one of us.  Just know that I understand.  {{{Hugs}}}  Ann

Yes, I lost my son 5 months ago.  I know what you mean about Christmas being hard.  I have told my family that I don't think I can have our usual gathering.  For you it's even harder, I would imagine, because you still have children in the home.  I pray you will find the strength to get through.  My son had just turned 41 and like you, we also had to wait months to get any results and they were minimal.  I wrote to the coroner this past week and he is suppose to get in touch with me next week.  I told him I need to know more...to understand what happened.  I know it was the medication he was given, but don't know if he used too much or what.  Some say, "what does it matter?", but to me it does matter.  I hope you get your answers soon.  This situation we have found ourselves in is a hard thing to handle and I know that if it were not for my faith I would have gone crazy by now.  Again, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.  It must be extremely hard with having the children grieving too.  Love & blessings, Ann