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susan Paull
- Female
- Santa Cruz, CA
- United States
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susan Paull's Page
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Yesterday ended the second week without my Papa. I'm supposed to go to my Mom's house to pick photos for the memorial. I can't sleep; I lay here dreading the thought of letting him go, saying goodbye again. I can't decide if I need more time or if i…
that is beutifal. peacful makes you realize how short our lives really are even though they seem way to long when you feel so sad everyday. just wanna get it over with i feel wish i was 80. Use to worry so about getting older about death not anymore…
The one person in my life that I could say anything to is gone; it makes me realize it is time to let more people in, to let more love in my life. Perhaps it's time to let the people in my life take more responsibility for our relationships as well.…
Thank you Laura; my heart goes out to you.
Susan, you say so beautifully what I have been feeling for the last 6 1/2 months...what is to be done with all the love and affection we shared with our loved ones who have passed? This energy does not dissipate or transfer...it is always there boun…
For me, I am reminded of the season in some way, for example, A sign in the market about ordering your turkey. I stop and think, "Why didn't they take that sign down. The holidays are over... Oh, wait Christmas hasn't happened yet!" The spirit is no…
For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am taking things one day at a time.
- About my Loss:
- I lost my father a week ago to cancer- my best friend.
Susan Paull's Blog
Second week
Yesterday ended the second week without my Papa. I'm supposed to go to my Mom's house to pick photos for the memorial. I can't sleep; I lay here dreading the thought of letting him go, saying goodbye again. I can't decide if I need more time or if it will be this hard no matter when I look at his pictures.
Posted on December 20, 2009 at 4:24am —
Silence in the woods
I live in the redwoods and just took my dogs for a walk. There is a different kind of silence in the woods; the green quiet of mossy age. The trees have been there since before we were ever a hope. That they will be there long after I am gone puts things into a different perspective for awhile. The silence at home is full of the inside of my thoughts.
Posted on December 18, 2009 at 2:42pm — 1 Comment
hollow ache
I spend my days with a hollow ache through the center of my body and a restlessness that shifts and paces inside me. I miss my father; I miss the gentle hum of his spirit, his wry sense of humor, his clean and clear memory of the details of my life.
It took us some time to develop that relationship. After watching each other from a distance (living in the same home) during my childhood, he stepped forward to be more active in my life when I was in my early twenties. He wrote me a poem that spoke… Continue
It took us some time to develop that relationship. After watching each other from a distance (living in the same home) during my childhood, he stepped forward to be more active in my life when I was in my early twenties. He wrote me a poem that spoke… Continue
Posted on December 18, 2009 at 1:30pm —
Always the tailors
I am always caught up with a nagging feeling that there is something I should be doing, someone I should be calling to see how they are holding up. My father and I were always the tailors, repairing the family garment, tying threads together. Now it is just me and what feels like loose pieces.
Posted on December 16, 2009 at 2:02pm —
Comment Wall (1 comment)
- At 1:11am on December 17, 2009, Michael A. Spudich gave susan Paull a gift…
Groups
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I love my Dad.
80 members
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
57 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
56 members
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I miss my Mom!
48 members
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Missing my Son or Daug…
47 members
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Multiple Losses Group
30 members
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I Miss My Parent(s)
22 members
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Tattoo Memorial
18 members
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Caylee Marie Anthony
18 members
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Lost Without My Mom
16 members
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mY sOuLmAtE, mY bEsTfRiE…
15 members
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Orphaned Adults
9 members
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for loved ones who have…
9 members
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Missing Michael Jackson
5 members
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Losing a Sister
5 members
Latest Activity
She was only 11 months older than me, she was 31 full of life, love and kindness. growing up we hated each other and then grew to be great friends. i miss her!!
For anyone woman who has lost a sister.
Hi Jennifer, my son would have been 17 this Friday (March 19). I dread Friday, I also have to view his autopsy this week. So I am preparing myself for a major case of depression. I hope all works out for you and your family. God be with you during t…
next month will be 1yr since my son was killed,his bday was hard enough but to have to deal with the annivesary and the trial coming up,i feel more depressed every day
I'm new to this group. I lost my mom three days ago and my heart is breaking. This was really a blessing for her as she was trapped in a body that no longer served her. Being bedridden for a year was so hard to watch. This once vital woman depenent…
I created this group for people who may be grieving one or both parents. I lost my Mom and Dad within one year of each other. Dad passed away from Lung Cancer and Mom passed less than one year later from Pick's Disease.
Hi Deneene I just read your message. I lost my 16 year old son due to a drug overdose on Dec 26, 2009. I just wanted you to know that I understand what you mean about not realizing how bad it was until after. The what-ifs some days and nights just w…
I'm not doing well!!....I lost my fiancee in a car accident Oct.27 2009. Anyone that says it gets easier with time is wrong. It's getting harder and harder everyday. I feel like my life is over too. I can barely get out of bed and I've become physic…
I'm very sorry for your loss, It's hard to relate to friends when they dont understand or havent been through the same things you have. I'm 16 and lost my mother a week ago to a brain anuerysm, death is hard to face and deal with, i give my best to…
Useful Links
How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
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Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
Living your life backwards
Ben's first duty as a new pastor was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who had died in his eighties. Since he didn't know the deceased, he invited members of the congregation to say a few kind words about Albert. No one budged. "Many of you knew Albert for years," Ben prompted them. "Surely someone can say something nice." After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said,...Bereavement Overload - Coping With Multiple Losses
How can anyone cope with the death of more than one family member when those deaths occur in a short period of time? What happens to the person who is grieving the death of a loved one, then loses a job, and has to move from their home or apartment because of financial conditions? Multiple losses occur more frequently than most people realize and they can complicate the mourning process. To begin with, it is...7 powerful ways to deal with grief
An interesting article just came in from the singer and songwriter Barbara Lewis, and I though it was so helpful to those coping with the loss of a loved one that I am reproducing it here: As a long-time performer - singer/songwriter - many events from my private life have appeared in songs. When my brother took his own life, and many years later, when my beloved husband of thirty years suddenly died, I brought...How to find the perfect funeral poem
Reading poems at a funeral can provide comfort to those who are suffering from the the loss of a loved one. Poets have the gift of being able to use words to give expression to the most sublime sentiments of the heart, and many of the most famous poets in history have used their talents to write about death and dying. Some poems about death can be dark, with emphasis on the misery of the...Losing my wife during child birth and looking after my 4 young children
My name is Steve Carter and I live in Glengormley Northern Ireland. I am writing to you today to tell you my story about my lovely wife and my fantastic children. I find writing this helps me through the heart ache and pain that I have suffered over the last 10 months. This is my story... I met my wife Denise while we were both travelling around the world. I was on my sixth year...Badge
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