Sharon Burnette
  • Female
  • Windsor,Ontario
  • Canada
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About my Loss:
My beloved 65 year old mother was diagnosed with stage 3B squamous cell carcinoma cancer on Dec 30th,2014,and passed away 5 weeks after on my 40th birthday Feb 9th,2015,& it's been 4wks&5days and I'm a basket case still! The dr told us the mass was wrapped around her superior vena cava like an octopus so they couldn't operate,but told us mom could have up to a year like that,we were sent to the cancer clinic where the radiologist said he could give her 10 rounds of radiation treatment to relieve some of her symptoms or could make them worse but it wouldn't give her more time. So Ofcourse she opted out.She was put on morphine& sleeping meds,steroids&oxygen but struggling to breathe when taking Acouple of steps. I couldn't let my father (the love of my mothers life for 48yrs) do everything,I basically put my life on hold to help care for my mother,cuz I feel that's my duty as her daughter cuz she raised me and just cared for me 1 year b4 after I had major surgery given an ileostomy for chrones colitis! I owed that to her! I'm happy I recovered enough to help the best that I could,I just cant lift more than 10lbs! I have a brother who doesn't work& couldn't find the time to help NOT ONCE,&I recently started back working barbering in November,then just Acouple days a wk around all moms tests&dr appts in January! I was there almost everyday& lf I wasn't we were on the phone! I went out Saturday feb 7th & bought her a hospital bed so she would be propped up&be more comfortable at night,cuz she couldn't sleep laying down flat anymore! It was happening so quick!
Feb 8th, I was at her house all day&she kept thanking me for the bed,cuz she was able to have a good nite sleep,I did her nails,she had Acouple little naps in her bed,some cousins came for a visit,I made moms favourite dish&" she kept asking me what I wanted for my 40th birthday& I told her I just wanted to spend it with her cuz we all knew it was going to be the last one&i wanted that memory cuz last yrs I was in hospital... SO WE WERE GONNA HANG OUT IN OUT JAMMIES,
I helped her into her hospital bed at midnight,&kissed her,told her I loved her,she told me she loved me more& told her i'ld be back in the morning.I came home&had a hard time sleeping& kept telling my husband I should of stayed the night! Well at 7:00am my cell phone woke me with messages of happy birthday wishes,as I was reading them,my house phone rang,it was my father"Sharon what time are you coming",I replied I just got up so in an hour,he said mommas not getting up,come sooner,I dropped the phone I ran outside&stsrted the car in my bare feet &nightgown -20,snowing like crazy, i got there in 3 minutes,dad was putting cool cloths on her,she was rattling,I think she went into a coma,I tried opening her eyes,they were fixated& I called her nurse,&then dad left the room&was on the phone calling ambulance,I seen she was foaming so I tried sitting her up&she took her last breath!! A part of me (a lrg part of me) died that very moment,an agonizing pain! Then the paramedics came in She had a DNR,so they couldn't do anything beside verify she was gone! Then cops gotta come,corner& then the funeral home,then I had to go with dad to make the arrangements (5wks is a far cry from the year the dr initially told us),I don't know how I had gotten the strength to write &deliver an eulogy"I went threw a lot of paper,wet paper from all the tears! We had her service on valentines "dad had to say goodbye to the love of his life":(
I've cried my eyes out everyday& just want my mom&our wanna be with my mom my best friend!!!!as I say that I think of reality& wouldn't wanna put dad thre that! So I seen a grief counsiler but it was awkward!!! I wanna know when it'll get easier?? I'm not the same !Im so overwhelmed,I've had dad with me ever since her passing,but soon he'll go 2 blocks over to their home,but will be here often!
Today is march 1st,I just came across this site&red a lot of these stories,everyone is unique!

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My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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