Lily Blue
  • Female
  • United Kingdom
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Dreams
9 Replies

I can't stop dreaming about them...Whenever he's in my dream he's either alive and happy, or hating me.Whether the dream is good or bad, it feels like it destroys a part of my soul.I wake up and for…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Frances Koonce Aug 10, 2018.

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About my Loss:
I lost my boyfriend of 2 years and my friend of 2 years to suicide.
I almost lost another friend to overdose.
Alomst lost my nan a few times due to various illnesses.
3 other friends have attempted.

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Lily Blue's Blog

Dreams

I can't stop dreaming about them...

Whenever he's in my dream he's either alive and happy, or hating me.

Whether the dream is good or bad, it feels like it destroys a part of my soul.

I wake up and for a few blissful moments he's still alive. Then I remember it was a dream, and it's like he dies all over again. 

I can hear the police knocking at my door to tell me. I can feel the empty horror, I can see the faces of the people who were around me contorted…

Continue

Posted on July 30, 2018 at 6:37pm

Memories

Everyone keeps telling me to just remember the good times with him, that it'll be better if I just remember the good times.

So I try.

They make me laugh, but they hurt so much. for every happy moment that runs through my mind, I feel like my heart gets torn a bit more.

I loved him, I love him. So much, and it hurts so much.

He was goofy, and funny, and cynical.

He loved to complain about things, like pop music. He…

Continue

Posted on July 30, 2018 at 6:00pm

 
 
 

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Brett Bowman replied to Tamicah's discussion Worst Documented Day of my life in the group I miss my Mom!
"Tamicah, every second that passes by is one second that brings you closer to your mom. The Lord will come for you in his time. I'm waiting too. It's been five years for me and I haven't grown accustomed to being without my mom. I miss…"
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Tamicah added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Worst Documented Day of my life

On the 1st of July 2020, I watched my life take her last breath. My life was and in many ways still is about my mother. I have never felt more lost and empty than I do now since she left. Fast forward to the 4th of October and I attempted suicide. I was unsuccessful unfortunately. I still don't want to be here but I'm forcing myself to live because I mean I wake up everyday so clearly God isn't ready to accept me into his kingdom.Until then nothing about life feels okay. I really miss my mom.
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