Lily Blue
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  • United Kingdom
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Dreams
9 Replies

I can't stop dreaming about them...Whenever he's in my dream he's either alive and happy, or hating me.Whether the dream is good or bad, it feels like it destroys a part of my soul.I wake up and for…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Frances Koonce Aug 10.

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Frances Koonce replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"Thank you @bluebird, I appreciate your concern for my daughter.  I’m sorry this happens to you often.  I have been learning so much from reading the posts here. I realize I need to sit down and talk with my family about getting our…"
Aug 10
bluebird replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"I'm sorry; I hope your daughter is ok. As far as waking up in a panic, that happens to me a lot."
Aug 10
Frances Koonce replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"Maybe we will continue to have distressing dreams. My daughter is now a teenager and she has ongoing health issues. My dreams now involve her health or her desire to move away. Ugh - it’s very hard. I wake up in a panic sometimes. "
Aug 10
bluebird replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"I can understand that; sometimes my dreams of my husband involve trying to keep him (or us) safe, too"
Aug 10
Frances Koonce replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"I’ve had nightmares before of a different kind. When my daughter was an infant and it seemed all I thought of was protecting her. I had constant nightmares about not keeping her safe.  My heart goes out to you. "
Aug 10
bluebird replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"Thank you, Frances. That is sweet of you to say."
Aug 9
Frances Koonce replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"I’m sorry that you have been having nightmares @bluebird. "
Aug 9
bluebird replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"Pretty much the only dreams I have had about my husband are nightmares, in which I am looking for him but can't find him, or he has left me and doesn't want to be with me anymore, or he has cheated on me, or I have cheated on him. None of…"
Aug 9
Frances Koonce replied to Lily Blue's discussion Dreams
"Hello - you asked for honest feedback about dreams involving our loved ones. First I want to say I’m truly sorry about your loss. I’m assuming it’s your boyfriend or fiancée perhaps. Nobody can out a finger on the pain and…"
Aug 7
Lily Blue updated their profile
Jul 30
Lily Blue posted blog posts
Jul 30
Lily Blue joined donna henderson's group
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for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
Jul 30
Lily Blue posted a discussion

Dreams

I can't stop dreaming about them...Whenever he's in my dream he's either alive and happy, or hating me.Whether the dream is good or bad, it feels like it destroys a part of my soul.I wake up and for a few blissful moments he's still alive. Then I remember it was a dream, and it's like he dies all over again. I can hear the police knocking at my door to tell me. I can feel the empty horror, I can see the faces of the people who were around me contorted in sadness and disbelief.I remember calling…See More
Jul 30
Lily Blue is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 30

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my boyfriend of 2 years and my friend of 2 years to suicide.
I almost lost another friend to overdose.
Alomst lost my nan a few times due to various illnesses.
3 other friends have attempted.

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Lily Blue's Blog

Dreams

I can't stop dreaming about them...

Whenever he's in my dream he's either alive and happy, or hating me.

Whether the dream is good or bad, it feels like it destroys a part of my soul.

I wake up and for a few blissful moments he's still alive. Then I remember it was a dream, and it's like he dies all over again. 

I can hear the police knocking at my door to tell me. I can feel the empty horror, I can see the faces of the people who were around me contorted…

Continue

Posted on July 30, 2018 at 6:37pm

Memories

Everyone keeps telling me to just remember the good times with him, that it'll be better if I just remember the good times.

So I try.

They make me laugh, but they hurt so much. for every happy moment that runs through my mind, I feel like my heart gets torn a bit more.

I loved him, I love him. So much, and it hurts so much.

He was goofy, and funny, and cynical.

He loved to complain about things, like pop music. He…

Continue

Posted on July 30, 2018 at 6:00pm

 
 
 

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jen brown is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
18 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar.  I wish you all strength "
yesterday
Bern commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Judy sometimes I feel the same way...why do some who don't deserve to live get to while our kids didn't.  And sometimes when I hear others use that word, "miracle" it upsets me too."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie forgive me if I screw this up but the line, "Don't cry for me, cause I live in eternity" runs through me head all the time."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie what a beautiful gift!!!!! That was Daniel, letting you know he's there. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Ginger I left all my sons pictures right where they were I need to see them. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been a while since I've checked in.  I'm actually melting down right now. Don't know what brought it on but can't seem to stop.  I miss everyone and think of all of you all the time.  Michael's…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, a few lost minutes cannot compete with a lifetime of love that you shared with your mom."
Friday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi there.  Brett, you were (are) totally right -- I was and think I still am in shock. There was so much to do, and with my kid to take care of, I wasn't processing. At all. Still not. I didn't get to say goodbye.  She was in a…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"As Brett suggests, you sure can be griefstricken without feelings of guilt -- for me guilt doesn't seem relevant to my deep sadness about losing my mother.  It's more a combination of loneliness, shock, emptiness, disappointment…"
Thursday
David is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, me too, the only guilt I have is if I did not stop at her house for three minutes, I would have been there, but I was not. I say it everyday why did I do that..."
Thursday
Virginia G posted a blog post

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.See More
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, what is what’s app?  I don’t have a smart phone."
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The pain seems to get worse everyday.  I guess the numbness is starting to wear off.  I need God to listen to me.  I can’t live like this."
Thursday
M Adams posted a blog post

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen to…See More
Wednesday
M Adams left a comment for Daniella
"On the surface our situations could hardly be more different -- my mother just died, she was 84 years old and had numerous health problems the last five years -- but reading your words touched me, somehow I felt like they were my own, the…"
Wednesday

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