I am a 25 yr old mother of two year old twins. I have been married for almost 4 yrs. I am a stay at home mama & wife. I have kidney disease. I love my family more with every new day I am given by the grace of God. I don't have many friends but am extremely close with my mama.
About my Loss:
Three years ago this march I lost my first son. He passed away after birth due to very rare heart and kidney problems. I've tried dealing w/ the loss on my own and I can't. My youngest brother just got deployed to afghanistan a little over a week ago. I have been terrified of losing more people in my life since the loss of my son. So now w/ my brother, I am already overwhelmed w/ grief. I can't eat or stop crying out of fear. I am also 4 1/2 months pregnant w/ my fourth son so I need to be strong and healthy for him. I just need help.
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the second way is through our forum, http://anchoredbyhope.lefora.com/ we are just starting out, so it's easier to keep up with everyone there.
the third way is through the live online support meetings. Just go to the main website and email us through that, and we can give you more info on those too. I think you would really benefit from the study. I know it changed my life. It gave me a clearer vision of which direction i wanted to go. But in the meanwhile, you can still keep in touch with us through the blogs, which I definately recommend you make one of those.
I'm glad to share those sites with you. This was really going to just be an outlet for me to direct people to the sites that my dear friend Katy and I manage together. The best 3 places to connect with other moms (including katy and I) is through: http://butterflymommies.blogspot.com/ - which is a directory of mothers who have lost children, all by different ages gestationally from early on to many days or weeks after birth. This might be a way for you to start collecting entries for a book,
I lost both of my parents (mom when I was ten, dad when i was 22), and two children during pregnancy. I definately understand the things that can trigger grief, especially during a pregnancy after a loss. I was a complete mess for the nine months I was pregnant for my last child. Suddenly the fun & naivity of not knowing got replaced with every possible 'what if'. Keep in touch... Lovingly in Christ, Kristie
Hi Miriam, I wanted to tell you that I am happy to keep in touch. In fact, if you would like, one of my close friends and I have a site where we host live online grief support Bible studies, and also this March we'll be starting our first live online monthly support group. We have a forum, just for pregnancy and infant loss, plus we each have our own blogs and links to other women's blogs that are all about losses of varying stages. Let me know what you are interested in and I can send you those specific links, otherwise if you would just like to explore those things, our site is www.anchoredbyhope.com
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"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
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Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired. So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though. I look here daily to read.…"
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack. It happened on the weekend. I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine. I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone. I just…"
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
"Thank you, some days are better than others. I feel so for you. My Mom was the center of my world also. I lived with her & took care of her. I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"