I lost my mom to cancer at 13, and my dad to cancer at 19. My younger, and only, sister was always troubled. While I went the direction of valuing each day as the last, she was never really able to value her own life and she committed suicide on 1/1/13.
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On the 1st of July 2020, I watched my life take her last breath. My life was and in many ways still is about my mother. I have never felt more lost and empty than I do now since she left. Fast forward to the 4th of October and I attempted suicide. I was unsuccessful unfortunately. I still don't want to be here but I'm forcing myself to live because I mean I wake up everyday so clearly God isn't ready to accept me into his kingdom.Until then nothing about life feels okay. I really miss my mom.