"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Jennifer Walde
- Female
- Pasadena, TX
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I'm 29. I'm a college student completing my bachelor's degree in homeland security and emergency management this year. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years.I have 2 dogs. I love the outdoors and swimming,painting, flying airplanes, travel, trying new things, cooking, gardening, running, hiking, arcades, movies, making people laugh, making clay sculptures, singing, and math.I believe in God and am active in my Christian faith.
- About my Loss:
- My daughter Avalynn was born after a very difficult pregnancy at 41 weeks via emergency csection. She wasn't breathing. With some effort they were able to revive her and send her for tests, and life flight her to the nicu. When I came out of recovery my husband and I were shown her xray, and told that my daughter had an abnormal skeleton, almost no lungs, an enlarged heart, and they didn't expect her to live. After 3 days I was finally discharged and allowed to drive to the children's hospital my daughter was at. 7 weeks later she came home on hospice. 7 weeks after that she was admitted to the inpatient hospice facility, and a week and a half later she starved to death while suffering heart, respiratory, renal, and liver failure. She suffered greatly despite our best efforts. But she was also one of the most loving, happy, peaceful, intelligent children I've ever known. She said everything with her expressive gorgeous hazel eyes, and her flirty, bashful smile. I held her as she took her last breaths, and waited for her heart to stop beating. I was with her every day of her life, with exception of those first 3 days. She was my 24/7. We didn't have a live in nurse,or anything, I, dealt with all her life support machines,medicine, dnr, etcetc.I miss her with every part of my soul. She was my soul mate.
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Jennifer Walde's Blog
My angel's passing a year later
Avalynn died June 13, 2015. Though it has been just over a year, my heart is still heavy. I often feel dismissed by friends and family who feel I should be over it by now. They grew impatient a long time ago. So I'm not sure how to deal with the loneliness that is only meant for her to fill. Whether good or difficult memories of her suffering, I cry because I get jealous of myself holding her in that moment. I want so badly to look her in her eyes and see her life, her soul, her joy, trust,…
ContinuePosted on August 14, 2016 at 5:03pm
Groups
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Sibling Loss
9 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Losing a Sister
93 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Grief Counseling
140 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
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Losing a sibling
62 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
43 members
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Compounded grief with ex…
49 members
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Lost both parents
12 members
Latest Activity
My husband
"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief
Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Assumptions
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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Jennifer,
Avalynn is a beautiful baby. Her smile is so adorable!
I truly am sorry for your loss. {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
--bluebird