Debbie Varga
  • Female
  • Ste. Genevieve, Missouri
  • United States
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Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, I am sorry that your dad's symptoms were overlooked. I would feel the same way you do in your shoes. I know that my stepdad also knew something wasn't right, that he wasn't well. But, he was too proud or stubborn (don't…"
Feb 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Kirstine, Sorry I haven't been online in a while to reply. I envy you your tears. My therapist has assured me that my tears will come. I have cried a little bit, shorts little bursts of tears, but I am either interrupted by my kids, or work,…"
Feb 10, 2010
Marsha "Marcy" Welch replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"We missed it too with my Mom. She had fought the battle with cancer three times, and the fourth time, it somehow slipped past us, AND her doctors. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, and I knew something was wrong. She stopped eating and her skin…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"to make things worse today my husband's friend said his mom has had the exact same cancer that my mom has for 10 years but the chemo has kept her alive all this time, like I wanted my mom to keep doing (the chemo), so the should have/could…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I've got the opposite problem, I can't stop crying. I guess we all deal with things differently. I am going to try to find a therapist myself, I think that is a good idea. I just need someone to vent to. Like you, I miss my mom so much and…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, Don't beat yourself up with the could have should have's. I feel the same way. My mom's doctor wanted her to continue chemo back in August b/c he said it was working, but my mom and step dad decided that she was going to stop…"
Jan 31, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Kirstine, I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so badly, I know. It is so hard to watch someone you love so much suffer. The last week of his life, my dad was in a lot of pain. The medicine helped but then he was so out of it. It was very…"
Jan 29, 2010
beverly ann and Debbie Varga are now friends
Jan 29, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I just lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer on Friday. We too missed the signs, in fact there were none until she complained of a bad back ache almost 2 years ago. She never smoked and was very healthy, had blood work done and everything came back…"
Jan 29, 2010
Rochelle Kramer commented on Debbie Varga's blog post How do I post a profile photo?
"go to "my page" click on the picture of the flower (where u profile pic should be) and it will take you to a page where you can upload one. If that doesnt work. Look to the left side of your page and where it says "manage" click…"
Jan 27, 2010
Debbie Varga updated their profile
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted a blog post

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted photos
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"Jennessa, I feel the same way you do about talking to strangers online about my losses. I know that I have very good friends, but my closest friends have not lost their dad. I have one friend who did, and we have talked a bit, but it is hard for us…"
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga added a discussion to the group I love my Dad.
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Emotions in a Jumble

My emotions are all jumbled up right now. I just had the one year anniversary of my grandma's death (my biological dad's mom) on Friday. The one year anniversary of my grandma (mom's mom) is this Friday. We just got through the 'first' of several significant things since the deaths of my grandmas and my stepdad (who passed in July): my son's birthday, my birthday, my daughter's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my stepdad's birthday, the new year. I don't even know what I'm feeling, or which…See More
Jan 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. I have no idea how to move through the grief process. That is why I came here a week ago. I am trying, I guess. It helps to just read what others are going through on this site. I don't feel so alone."
Jan 9, 2010

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 40 y/o married mother of two (ages 5, 3). I am home with my children during the day and work part-time evenings a few days a week.
About my Loss:
I lost my beloved step-father on July 24, 2009 and feel like I have not even begun to grieve because I have been so focused on helping my children with their grief (which is substantial). He began to have pain in his right shoulder in June, and an MRI in July showed metastatic cancer (bones, brain, lungs). There was nothing that could be done, so we called hospice in and he passed two weeks later. It was all so fast that it still doesn't seem real. He has always been a part of my life, since I was about 10, and he was the father I always wanted (my own father was a verbally, emotionally, sexually abusive, alcoholic).

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Debbie Varga's Blog

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?

Posted on January 23, 2010 at 8:46pm — 1 Comment

I am new here and am not sure what to do to get started

Hi everyone,

I am trying to figure this out. I am new to this site, but not new to online support groups. They all seem to be a bit different.



I am reeling from the holidays and all the emotions I'm feeling. I lost my stepfather in July to cancer, which was diagnosed only two weeks before he passed. In hindsight, there were signs that we all missed to tip us off that something was wrong, but we just took his word that his cough was just his 'sinus crap'.



His death… Continue

Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:48pm

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At 8:57pm on January 23, 2010, beverly ann said…
I'm sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She was 59.She died from conjestive heart failure.I know what you're going through.I new to this group can you plz tell me how to invite friends?
At 4:04am on January 2, 2010, Courtney Rice said…
Of course a step dad counts! Everyone counts! He was your dad...I was adopted, and he was my dad. The pain is the same, You've lost a parent.
Don't kick yourself about not seeing it coming. It does no good. My dad died rather suddenly, But my husband, mom and I all failed to read the signs for what they were. I missed the signs related to my best friend since childhood. I misread the signs involved in the loss that brought me to this site. If I could not see warnings after so many previous experiences, how could you possibly? And if you focus on that, it will only serve to cause you pain that you don't deserve.
I'm sure your step dad would not want that for you. Focus on the love he brought into your life. Be thankful for every moment you had him. That is what he would want for you. The one's who truly love us, don't want us to be in this pain. Of course, it's that same love that causes it. Though this all seems so permanent, it's an illusion. We will be with our loved ones again. And they are with us, every time we think of them with love.
Courtney
 
 
 

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Profile IconLindsey Brackett, Carl Accomando, Carl accomando and 8 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
1 hour ago
kathleen akin left a comment for kathleen akin
"Having a bad day. Well, really a bad bunch of days. Might as well call it a bad bunch of weeks. I keep obsessing on the fact that Rocky is really and totally GONE from my life. Just gone. For the rest of my days. I don't know what has see me…"
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Anna commented on Maxey's blog post Any Signs
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6 hours ago
Georgianna "Georgie" joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
6 hours ago
Kerri Davis replied to annjulie's discussion 2 tragic deaths 5 days apart.. in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"For me, going back to work was a good thing.  My husband was not a part of my world there, so it was easy to be distracted by work. I hope going back to work gives you some sense of normalcy. "
7 hours ago
kathleen akin commented on Kenna's blog post First Christmas
"I am a parrot mom too. I have 6 little ones. They are wonderful companions and family members. Kathy"
7 hours ago
kathleen akin commented on Kenna's blog post First Christmas
"I'm going to find out this month. It is my first without Rocky. I did nothing as far as decorating. I'm going to go spend it with my daughters in Ft Collins and I hope I "handle it" ok and not ruin it for anyone. But it feels…"
7 hours ago
Kara posted a status
"How do stop crying everyday"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you David and Anna,  God Bless"
11 hours ago
kathleen akin commented on kathleen akin's photo
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My last dance

"AnneJ, I just saw what you wrote...I don't get on here much do I? That was sweet, what you wrote. I miss dancing in the kitchen with him."
12 hours ago
kathleen akin commented on kathleen akin's blog post Christmas lights
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12 hours ago
Georgianna "Georgie" posted a status
"Thank you L.C. I struggle to open up to people and I struggle to cry. I do express myself through art that I do."
12 hours ago
David B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you for your comments Anna I pray it gets better but after 14 yrs it feels like it never will. My prayers got out to all the other members here who are struggling especially hard through this holiday season."
12 hours ago
Anna commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"David, I'm so sorry. When I lost my mom I felt like I lost the one person in my life who actually really cared about me and cared about everything I did. I'm told it gets better, but I believe they mean we just get more used to it. I wish…"
12 hours ago
L.C. joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
12 hours ago
L.C. commented on Georgianna "Georgie"'s status
"Hi, I am new too. I am so sorry about your best friend. Pray for strength. Scream/Cry do what you need to do. The link is to a song that means a lot to me. Listen to the music. Feel the lyrics. I hope it helps. It helps me everyday.…"
12 hours ago
L.C. updated their profile
12 hours ago
Georgianna "Georgie" posted a status
"Hi...I am new to the group. I am about to lose my best friend to cancer and am really having a hard time with it."
13 hours ago
David B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is almost another year of the anniversary of my dear mother Ellen's death caused by ALS. People say time heals.....that really is a lie. I still struggle every year with the huge hole her passing left in my life. I still cry thinking how…"
13 hours ago
Lisa Wysong replied to annjulie's discussion 2 tragic deaths 5 days apart.. in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Annjulie,  I found my friend's dead body on Dec 18 2016, which was, to put it simply, the most horrific thing I have ever seen. My Dad -- who was my Superman -- passed in his sleep on Dec 27 2016, 9 days apart. I think I said 7 days…"
16 hours ago

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