Debbie Varga
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  • Ste. Genevieve, Missouri
  • United States
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Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, I am sorry that your dad's symptoms were overlooked. I would feel the same way you do in your shoes. I know that my stepdad also knew something wasn't right, that he wasn't well. But, he was too proud or stubborn (don't…"
Feb 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Kirstine, Sorry I haven't been online in a while to reply. I envy you your tears. My therapist has assured me that my tears will come. I have cried a little bit, shorts little bursts of tears, but I am either interrupted by my kids, or work,…"
Feb 10, 2010
Marsha "Marcy" Welch replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"We missed it too with my Mom. She had fought the battle with cancer three times, and the fourth time, it somehow slipped past us, AND her doctors. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, and I knew something was wrong. She stopped eating and her skin…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"to make things worse today my husband's friend said his mom has had the exact same cancer that my mom has for 10 years but the chemo has kept her alive all this time, like I wanted my mom to keep doing (the chemo), so the should have/could…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I've got the opposite problem, I can't stop crying. I guess we all deal with things differently. I am going to try to find a therapist myself, I think that is a good idea. I just need someone to vent to. Like you, I miss my mom so much and…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, Don't beat yourself up with the could have should have's. I feel the same way. My mom's doctor wanted her to continue chemo back in August b/c he said it was working, but my mom and step dad decided that she was going to stop…"
Jan 31, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Kirstine, I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so badly, I know. It is so hard to watch someone you love so much suffer. The last week of his life, my dad was in a lot of pain. The medicine helped but then he was so out of it. It was very…"
Jan 29, 2010
beverly ann and Debbie Varga are now friends
Jan 29, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I just lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer on Friday. We too missed the signs, in fact there were none until she complained of a bad back ache almost 2 years ago. She never smoked and was very healthy, had blood work done and everything came back…"
Jan 29, 2010
Rochelle Kramer commented on Debbie Varga's blog post How do I post a profile photo?
"go to "my page" click on the picture of the flower (where u profile pic should be) and it will take you to a page where you can upload one. If that doesnt work. Look to the left side of your page and where it says "manage" click…"
Jan 27, 2010
Debbie Varga updated their profile
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted a blog post

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted photos
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"Jennessa, I feel the same way you do about talking to strangers online about my losses. I know that I have very good friends, but my closest friends have not lost their dad. I have one friend who did, and we have talked a bit, but it is hard for us…"
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga added a discussion to the group I love my Dad.
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Emotions in a Jumble

My emotions are all jumbled up right now. I just had the one year anniversary of my grandma's death (my biological dad's mom) on Friday. The one year anniversary of my grandma (mom's mom) is this Friday. We just got through the 'first' of several significant things since the deaths of my grandmas and my stepdad (who passed in July): my son's birthday, my birthday, my daughter's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my stepdad's birthday, the new year. I don't even know what I'm feeling, or which…See More
Jan 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. I have no idea how to move through the grief process. That is why I came here a week ago. I am trying, I guess. It helps to just read what others are going through on this site. I don't feel so alone."
Jan 9, 2010

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 40 y/o married mother of two (ages 5, 3). I am home with my children during the day and work part-time evenings a few days a week.
About my Loss:
I lost my beloved step-father on July 24, 2009 and feel like I have not even begun to grieve because I have been so focused on helping my children with their grief (which is substantial). He began to have pain in his right shoulder in June, and an MRI in July showed metastatic cancer (bones, brain, lungs). There was nothing that could be done, so we called hospice in and he passed two weeks later. It was all so fast that it still doesn't seem real. He has always been a part of my life, since I was about 10, and he was the father I always wanted (my own father was a verbally, emotionally, sexually abusive, alcoholic).

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Debbie Varga's Blog

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?

Posted on January 23, 2010 at 8:46pm — 1 Comment

I am new here and am not sure what to do to get started

Hi everyone,

I am trying to figure this out. I am new to this site, but not new to online support groups. They all seem to be a bit different.



I am reeling from the holidays and all the emotions I'm feeling. I lost my stepfather in July to cancer, which was diagnosed only two weeks before he passed. In hindsight, there were signs that we all missed to tip us off that something was wrong, but we just took his word that his cough was just his 'sinus crap'.



His death… Continue

Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:48pm

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At 8:57pm on January 23, 2010, beverly ann said…
I'm sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She was 59.She died from conjestive heart failure.I know what you're going through.I new to this group can you plz tell me how to invite friends?
At 4:04am on January 2, 2010, Courtney Rice said…
Of course a step dad counts! Everyone counts! He was your dad...I was adopted, and he was my dad. The pain is the same, You've lost a parent.
Don't kick yourself about not seeing it coming. It does no good. My dad died rather suddenly, But my husband, mom and I all failed to read the signs for what they were. I missed the signs related to my best friend since childhood. I misread the signs involved in the loss that brought me to this site. If I could not see warnings after so many previous experiences, how could you possibly? And if you focus on that, it will only serve to cause you pain that you don't deserve.
I'm sure your step dad would not want that for you. Focus on the love he brought into your life. Be thankful for every moment you had him. That is what he would want for you. The one's who truly love us, don't want us to be in this pain. Of course, it's that same love that causes it. Though this all seems so permanent, it's an illusion. We will be with our loved ones again. And they are with us, every time we think of them with love.
Courtney
 
 
 

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Fran left a comment for Dixie Brossart
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Jill replied to Dixie Brossart's discussion Letting go, forgiving, and living for your kids. How? in the group I miss my Mom!
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Profile IconMaryanne , Ed Morgan, Elicia Gill and 7 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Karen T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Vasanthi S left a comment for Janis
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5 hours ago
Roger left a comment for Ed Morgan
"Hi Ed, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my wife February 9, 2013. Its been a hard 2 years. Depression,loneliness,not being able to sleep. I have had it all. I still struggle doing things that once were just routine. I am so forgetful. Have no…"
6 hours ago
Danny replied to Dixie Brossart's discussion Letting go, forgiving, and living for your kids. How? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Its tough when the apartment is rented out and everything has to be moved out in the next 60 days.  Also I seem to agree that when you move a parent to rehab/nursing home things tend to move faster and in my case, we had the parent at home all…"
6 hours ago
Zell posted a blog post

A Difficult Path that cannot be walked alone

We cannot always understand the pathway on which we are travelling.  The way may be rocky and rugged. We may fearfully travel alone with uncertainty, loneliness and heartbreak – confusion lurking in the shadows. Our burdens feel too heavy as we sink in the marshland or stumble and fall. We cannot see the end of our trials and pain nor envision that the darkness of our night has a morning after…But God promises that His presence will go with us. We can trust in His word and His changeless love,…See More
8 hours ago
Mollie commented on Mollie's blog post The Hardest Days
"Why thank you so much. It helps so much to know that I do have others to talk to who have felt what I'm feeling, who know the hurt and understand, finally, that grieving is different for everyone. I am so sorry for your loss, and am touched by…"
9 hours ago
Janis joined Karen's group
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
11 hours ago
Debbie-lee updated their profile photo
13 hours ago
Debbie-lee updated their profile
13 hours ago
Lost & Alone commented on Angelina Serrano's blog post It feels like yesterday
"I wish that I could help you in some way, but we are all here together in the same pain as you... Feel free to talk to us as much as you want.... God Bless you"
16 hours ago
Lost & Alone commented on Zell's blog post You are Everywhere - A Poem
"Perfect"
16 hours ago
Lost & Alone commented on Angelina Serrano's blog post Thank you all for your support
"Welcome we are all here for each other no matter what feel free to do or say anything God Bless You"
16 hours ago
Lost & Alone commented on Zell's blog post Platitudes and Mis-Quoted Scripture vs Reality: What is really helpful?
"Amen it is just like the storie of the footprints in the sand..... Some times people should stop and think not run and regret"
16 hours ago
Lost & Alone commented on Mollie's blog post The Hardest Days
"I know what you mean I still see my soul mate lying on the gurney in the ER that sight will never go away..... I have tried to replace it with other pictures I have of him.... some times this works and some times it does not..... I know that people…"
17 hours ago
Lost & Alone commented on Mollie's blog post The Hardest Days
"I know what you mean I still see my soul mate lying on the gurney in the ER that sight will never go away..... I have tried to replace it with other pictures I have of him.... some times this works and some times it does not..... I know that people…"
17 hours ago
Dixie Brossart replied to Dixie Brossart's discussion Letting go, forgiving, and living for your kids. How? in the group I miss my Mom!
"how long did your mother live with the alz till she passed?  i cant help thinking it moved faster once she went into the rehab/nursing home.  I want to blame someone so bad.  I want to blame God, but I feel like He is all I have to…"
18 hours ago

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