Debbie Varga
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  • Ste. Genevieve, Missouri
  • United States
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Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, I am sorry that your dad's symptoms were overlooked. I would feel the same way you do in your shoes. I know that my stepdad also knew something wasn't right, that he wasn't well. But, he was too proud or stubborn (don't…"
Feb 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Kirstine, Sorry I haven't been online in a while to reply. I envy you your tears. My therapist has assured me that my tears will come. I have cried a little bit, shorts little bursts of tears, but I am either interrupted by my kids, or work,…"
Feb 10, 2010
Marsha "Marcy" Welch replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"We missed it too with my Mom. She had fought the battle with cancer three times, and the fourth time, it somehow slipped past us, AND her doctors. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, and I knew something was wrong. She stopped eating and her skin…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"to make things worse today my husband's friend said his mom has had the exact same cancer that my mom has for 10 years but the chemo has kept her alive all this time, like I wanted my mom to keep doing (the chemo), so the should have/could…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I've got the opposite problem, I can't stop crying. I guess we all deal with things differently. I am going to try to find a therapist myself, I think that is a good idea. I just need someone to vent to. Like you, I miss my mom so much and…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, Don't beat yourself up with the could have should have's. I feel the same way. My mom's doctor wanted her to continue chemo back in August b/c he said it was working, but my mom and step dad decided that she was going to stop…"
Jan 31, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Kirstine, I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so badly, I know. It is so hard to watch someone you love so much suffer. The last week of his life, my dad was in a lot of pain. The medicine helped but then he was so out of it. It was very…"
Jan 29, 2010
beverly ann and Debbie Varga are now friends
Jan 29, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I just lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer on Friday. We too missed the signs, in fact there were none until she complained of a bad back ache almost 2 years ago. She never smoked and was very healthy, had blood work done and everything came back…"
Jan 29, 2010
Rochelle Kramer commented on Debbie Varga's blog post How do I post a profile photo?
"go to "my page" click on the picture of the flower (where u profile pic should be) and it will take you to a page where you can upload one. If that doesnt work. Look to the left side of your page and where it says "manage" click…"
Jan 27, 2010
Debbie Varga updated their profile
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted a blog post

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted photos
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"Jennessa, I feel the same way you do about talking to strangers online about my losses. I know that I have very good friends, but my closest friends have not lost their dad. I have one friend who did, and we have talked a bit, but it is hard for us…"
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga added a discussion to the group I love my Dad.
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Emotions in a Jumble

My emotions are all jumbled up right now. I just had the one year anniversary of my grandma's death (my biological dad's mom) on Friday. The one year anniversary of my grandma (mom's mom) is this Friday. We just got through the 'first' of several significant things since the deaths of my grandmas and my stepdad (who passed in July): my son's birthday, my birthday, my daughter's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my stepdad's birthday, the new year. I don't even know what I'm feeling, or which…See More
Jan 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. I have no idea how to move through the grief process. That is why I came here a week ago. I am trying, I guess. It helps to just read what others are going through on this site. I don't feel so alone."
Jan 9, 2010

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 40 y/o married mother of two (ages 5, 3). I am home with my children during the day and work part-time evenings a few days a week.
About my Loss:
I lost my beloved step-father on July 24, 2009 and feel like I have not even begun to grieve because I have been so focused on helping my children with their grief (which is substantial). He began to have pain in his right shoulder in June, and an MRI in July showed metastatic cancer (bones, brain, lungs). There was nothing that could be done, so we called hospice in and he passed two weeks later. It was all so fast that it still doesn't seem real. He has always been a part of my life, since I was about 10, and he was the father I always wanted (my own father was a verbally, emotionally, sexually abusive, alcoholic).

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Debbie Varga's Blog

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?

Posted on January 23, 2010 at 8:46pm — 1 Comment

I am new here and am not sure what to do to get started

Hi everyone,

I am trying to figure this out. I am new to this site, but not new to online support groups. They all seem to be a bit different.



I am reeling from the holidays and all the emotions I'm feeling. I lost my stepfather in July to cancer, which was diagnosed only two weeks before he passed. In hindsight, there were signs that we all missed to tip us off that something was wrong, but we just took his word that his cough was just his 'sinus crap'.



His death… Continue

Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:48pm

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At 8:57pm on January 23, 2010, beverly ann said…
I'm sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She was 59.She died from conjestive heart failure.I know what you're going through.I new to this group can you plz tell me how to invite friends?
At 4:04am on January 2, 2010, Courtney Rice said…
Of course a step dad counts! Everyone counts! He was your dad...I was adopted, and he was my dad. The pain is the same, You've lost a parent.
Don't kick yourself about not seeing it coming. It does no good. My dad died rather suddenly, But my husband, mom and I all failed to read the signs for what they were. I missed the signs related to my best friend since childhood. I misread the signs involved in the loss that brought me to this site. If I could not see warnings after so many previous experiences, how could you possibly? And if you focus on that, it will only serve to cause you pain that you don't deserve.
I'm sure your step dad would not want that for you. Focus on the love he brought into your life. Be thankful for every moment you had him. That is what he would want for you. The one's who truly love us, don't want us to be in this pain. Of course, it's that same love that causes it. Though this all seems so permanent, it's an illusion. We will be with our loved ones again. And they are with us, every time we think of them with love.
Courtney
 
 
 

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MarieSte posted a photo
38 minutes ago
Quincyjr replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Dittos and peace Unc Den."
46 minutes ago
Laurie ~ Jesse's mom commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie, wishing you gentleness as you approach this second anniversary date of your son...I think we are on a similar timeline in regards to loss...it seemed like the first year I was just waiting, waiting and waiting for him to come home through…"
1 hour ago
Dennis C. replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"The Bible does NOT teach eternal torment in Hell. Religion teaches that."
1 hour ago
Tracy Huston commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Well said, Connie. I used to go back to that night and that time a lot but as time goes on I don't punish myself as much. But sometimes I do - esp during the holidays and anniversaries... Hang in there. It's hard. Terribly hard."
1 hour ago
Quincyjr replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be tortured in hell for eternity. That's not free will. It's like a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave me, I will track you down and…"
1 hour ago
Quincyjr replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Whoever will have nothing to do with thorns, can never gather roses."
2 hours ago
Connie K commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I will visit the accident site also on Saturday. I do this because it was the last place he was on this earth. And I will not rest until we get the city to make that road safer!!"
3 hours ago
Connie K commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Linda - I think it helps us stay connected - even if it's negative. I do the same thing. I can't help it if memories flood in, then it makes me remember more and more details I thought I had put to rest. Legal situations are making us…"
3 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"multi loss meset me up i got so mad i cud of slapet god him/her scream at him/her swear at him/her"
3 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"yea pics r so grt marieste "
3 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"bluebird I appreciate your view and I would never try to convince you otherwise. But people who use the Bible say all kinds of things about the Bible and what they say makes me scratch my head? Because I see the Bible as authority (I respect that…"
3 hours ago
Quincyjr replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt His existence. Bertrand Russell."
3 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"i lost 2 dear antis i did laruie anti b on my dads famly in 2013 thn on my mums sde anti d in 2014 both so simler in carketer but not related 2 ech other but related 2 me  pic  3rd 1 wz in dam sq not in uk i tk it on a trip lst wk i…"
3 hours ago
Quincyjr replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Usually people mad at God are simply mad at a false god projected by the fundamentalist part of the church...the two faced god who tortures his enemies forever in "hell" (while asking us to forgive ours)."
4 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Dennis, Assuming that Jesus even said that -- it's symbolic, like much of the bible."
6 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Zell, I was wondering what you think. The following scriptures speak convincingly of the earth. Psalms 37:11 — But the meek will possess the earth, And they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace. Isaiah 45:18 (KJV-S)…"
7 hours ago
Diana Y replied to erin's discussion Guana scammer
"Who is the member and I will delete the person."
8 hours ago
Profile IconLola Mclain, Philippa Fairfax Kay (Pippa), Layne Womick and 10 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
8 hours ago
MarieSte replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Thank You for your kind words Laurie, yes it's very hard so we need to rest and gather comfort from what we can."
9 hours ago

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