Debbie Varga
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  • Ste. Genevieve, Missouri
  • United States
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Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, I am sorry that your dad's symptoms were overlooked. I would feel the same way you do in your shoes. I know that my stepdad also knew something wasn't right, that he wasn't well. But, he was too proud or stubborn (don't…"
Feb 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Kirstine, Sorry I haven't been online in a while to reply. I envy you your tears. My therapist has assured me that my tears will come. I have cried a little bit, shorts little bursts of tears, but I am either interrupted by my kids, or work,…"
Feb 10, 2010
Marsha "Marcy" Welch replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"We missed it too with my Mom. She had fought the battle with cancer three times, and the fourth time, it somehow slipped past us, AND her doctors. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, and I knew something was wrong. She stopped eating and her skin…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"to make things worse today my husband's friend said his mom has had the exact same cancer that my mom has for 10 years but the chemo has kept her alive all this time, like I wanted my mom to keep doing (the chemo), so the should have/could…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I've got the opposite problem, I can't stop crying. I guess we all deal with things differently. I am going to try to find a therapist myself, I think that is a good idea. I just need someone to vent to. Like you, I miss my mom so much and…"
Jan 31, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Andrea, Don't beat yourself up with the could have should have's. I feel the same way. My mom's doctor wanted her to continue chemo back in August b/c he said it was working, but my mom and step dad decided that she was going to stop…"
Jan 31, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Kirstine, I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so badly, I know. It is so hard to watch someone you love so much suffer. The last week of his life, my dad was in a lot of pain. The medicine helped but then he was so out of it. It was very…"
Jan 29, 2010
beverly ann and Debbie Varga are now friends
Jan 29, 2010
Kirstine Rushing replied to Debbie Varga's discussion How did we miss the signs? in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I just lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer on Friday. We too missed the signs, in fact there were none until she complained of a bad back ache almost 2 years ago. She never smoked and was very healthy, had blood work done and everything came back…"
Jan 29, 2010
Rochelle Kramer commented on Debbie Varga's blog post How do I post a profile photo?
"go to "my page" click on the picture of the flower (where u profile pic should be) and it will take you to a page where you can upload one. If that doesnt work. Look to the left side of your page and where it says "manage" click…"
Jan 27, 2010
Debbie Varga updated their profile
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted a blog post

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?
Jan 23, 2010
Debbie Varga posted photos
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"Jennessa, I feel the same way you do about talking to strangers online about my losses. I know that I have very good friends, but my closest friends have not lost their dad. I have one friend who did, and we have talked a bit, but it is hard for us…"
Jan 12, 2010
Debbie Varga added a discussion to the group I love my Dad.
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Emotions in a Jumble

My emotions are all jumbled up right now. I just had the one year anniversary of my grandma's death (my biological dad's mom) on Friday. The one year anniversary of my grandma (mom's mom) is this Friday. We just got through the 'first' of several significant things since the deaths of my grandmas and my stepdad (who passed in July): my son's birthday, my birthday, my daughter's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my stepdad's birthday, the new year. I don't even know what I'm feeling, or which…See More
Jan 10, 2010
Debbie Varga replied to imstillgrieving's discussion Hello im new here
"I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. I have no idea how to move through the grief process. That is why I came here a week ago. I am trying, I guess. It helps to just read what others are going through on this site. I don't feel so alone."
Jan 9, 2010

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 40 y/o married mother of two (ages 5, 3). I am home with my children during the day and work part-time evenings a few days a week.
About my Loss:
I lost my beloved step-father on July 24, 2009 and feel like I have not even begun to grieve because I have been so focused on helping my children with their grief (which is substantial). He began to have pain in his right shoulder in June, and an MRI in July showed metastatic cancer (bones, brain, lungs). There was nothing that could be done, so we called hospice in and he passed two weeks later. It was all so fast that it still doesn't seem real. He has always been a part of my life, since I was about 10, and he was the father I always wanted (my own father was a verbally, emotionally, sexually abusive, alcoholic).

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Debbie Varga's Blog

How do I post a profile photo?

I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?

Posted on January 23, 2010 at 8:46pm — 1 Comment

I am new here and am not sure what to do to get started

Hi everyone,

I am trying to figure this out. I am new to this site, but not new to online support groups. They all seem to be a bit different.



I am reeling from the holidays and all the emotions I'm feeling. I lost my stepfather in July to cancer, which was diagnosed only two weeks before he passed. In hindsight, there were signs that we all missed to tip us off that something was wrong, but we just took his word that his cough was just his 'sinus crap'.



His death… Continue

Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:48pm

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 8:57pm on January 23, 2010, beverly ann said…
I'm sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She was 59.She died from conjestive heart failure.I know what you're going through.I new to this group can you plz tell me how to invite friends?
At 4:04am on January 2, 2010, Courtney Rice said…
Of course a step dad counts! Everyone counts! He was your dad...I was adopted, and he was my dad. The pain is the same, You've lost a parent.
Don't kick yourself about not seeing it coming. It does no good. My dad died rather suddenly, But my husband, mom and I all failed to read the signs for what they were. I missed the signs related to my best friend since childhood. I misread the signs involved in the loss that brought me to this site. If I could not see warnings after so many previous experiences, how could you possibly? And if you focus on that, it will only serve to cause you pain that you don't deserve.
I'm sure your step dad would not want that for you. Focus on the love he brought into your life. Be thankful for every moment you had him. That is what he would want for you. The one's who truly love us, don't want us to be in this pain. Of course, it's that same love that causes it. Though this all seems so permanent, it's an illusion. We will be with our loved ones again. And they are with us, every time we think of them with love.
Courtney
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Connie K commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa I love that you will continue to do that tournament in celebration of Michael. Ever since you did that last year, I was impressed by your ability to put in the time and energy to organize something like that and that is such a wonderful…"
1 hour ago
JO B alexio commented on David H's blog post here Iam
"pain seasm stonger thn alcole/booze it doze david  im not me any m coz of dads death multi loss on top 2 mush multi loss"
7 hours ago
JO B alexio commented on Diana Y's blog post After Death Communication
"i dont no if its a sine or not  2 i saed i wish i cud sea my dad anti so on i fnd a dvd not mrkt after i juts sad wot i sead my anti popet up on it thn my dad s voise popet up on as well  tears in my eyes starded it felt so sad but happy 2…"
8 hours ago
JO B alexio commented on Zell's video
8 hours ago
JO B alexio commented on Zell's video
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Why I Think This World Should End

"it is so t zell if it did end i wud get balam for it i no im not only 1 it wud get balm for it"
8 hours ago
Danny left a comment for Margaret
"Its tough Margaret I myself don't know if I will be able to do what I planned to do with all this shock coming my way."
9 hours ago
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Today was so tough for me.  I feel drained."
9 hours ago
Zell posted blog posts
9 hours ago
Connie K and Vicki are now friends
12 hours ago
Vicki posted a discussion

Anyone, please, is there hope?

Please, is there anyone out there who has lost their only child and was able to eventually find any joy, happiness, or peace in their life?  Please tell me that I can find my way through this abyss of desolation.See More
13 hours ago
Teresa D. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie, I thought your drum circle was a great idea and I hope you find the energy to continue it.  The 12 year old is right.  We have to find ways to live for them and celebrate their life rather then keep mourning them.  Michael was…"
13 hours ago
Vicki posted a status
"Yesterday was the worst day yet. I started cleaning out my son's apartment: throwing things in the garbage and taking things to Goodwill."
13 hours ago
Vicki is now friends with kim and Michelle H
13 hours ago
Zell commented on Zell's video
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Why I Think This World Should End

"Interesting - sad, but true state of our world."
21 hours ago
Zell left a comment for Esther Ferrari
"Thank you Esther.  Thank you so much... "
22 hours ago
Zell left a comment for kim
"Thank you for your note Kim.  It makes it so worth it to know that sharing is appreciated.  I cried bitterly late last night on the phone to my mom - eventually I was unable to speak at all.  I miss him so much. But I felt a bit…"
22 hours ago
Zell left a comment for L R, Jesse's mom
"Hi L. I want to thank you for your kind and very timely words. It is comforting to know that it means something to people. I cried so bitterly last night before going to sleep, feeling such loss and longing for love lost and gone.  Seeing your…"
22 hours ago
Zell and L R, Jesse's mom are now friends
23 hours ago
David H posted a blog post

here Iam

two years after my wife passed awayIts sat,thinking of making my vodka orange juice stronger. My emotional outlets have been through massages.So I have put off starting off on a life of my own.Of course a good massage therapist will fill in that void for a whole hour to an hour and a half and then it back to square one .I  have come to a point and its hard I realize I have to though it out and its hard. Things come to mind and I coming back here from a long absence  Did I tell   you life is a…See More
yesterday
kim left a comment for Zell
"zell, you are in such pain but you still understand and have a beautiful heart, I will cherish the words and letters you have sent me, thank you my friend  love and hugs  kim"
yesterday

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