Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone.
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Debbie Varga
- Female
- Ste. Genevieve, Missouri
- United States
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Latest Activity
Andrea,
I am sorry that your dad's symptoms were overlooked. I would feel the same way you do in your shoes. I know that my stepdad also knew something wasn't right, that he wasn't well. But, he was too proud or stubborn (don't know which) to do som…
Hi Kirstine,
Sorry I haven't been online in a while to reply. I envy you your tears. My therapist has assured me that my tears will come. I have cried a little bit, shorts little bursts of tears, but I am either interrupted by my kids, or work, or I…
We missed it too with my Mom. She had fought the battle with cancer three times, and the fourth time, it somehow slipped past us, AND her doctors. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, and I knew something was wrong. She stopped eating and her skin st…
to make things worse today my husband's friend said his mom has had the exact same cancer that my mom has for 10 years but the chemo has kept her alive all this time, like I wanted my mom to keep doing (the chemo), so the should have/could have's hi…
I've got the opposite problem, I can't stop crying. I guess we all deal with things differently. I am going to try to find a therapist myself, I think that is a good idea. I just need someone to vent to. Like you, I miss my mom so much and I wonder…
Andrea,
Don't beat yourself up with the could have should have's. I feel the same way. My mom's doctor wanted her to continue chemo back in August b/c he said it was working, but my mom and step dad decided that she was going to stop chemo and trust…
Kirstine,
I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts so badly, I know. It is so hard to watch someone you love so much suffer. The last week of his life, my dad was in a lot of pain. The medicine helped but then he was so out of it. It was very conf…
I just lost my mom to stage 4 lung cancer on Friday. We too missed the signs, in fact there were none until she complained of a bad back ache almost 2 years ago. She never smoked and was very healthy, had blood work done and everything came back fin…
go to "my page" click on the picture of the flower (where u profile pic should be) and it will take you to a page where you can upload one. If that doesnt work. Look to the left side of your page and where it says "manage" click photo. That should w…
I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?
Jennessa,
I feel the same way you do about talking to strangers online about my losses. I know that I have very good friends, but my closest friends have not lost their dad. I have one friend who did, and we have talked a bit, but it is hard for us…
My emotions are all jumbled up right now. I just had the one year anniversary of my grandma's death (my biological dad's mom) on Friday. The one year anniversary of my grandma (mom's mom) is this Friday. We just got through the 'first' of several si…
I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. I have no idea how to move through the grief process. That is why I came here a week ago. I am trying, I guess. It helps to just read what others are going through on this site. I don't feel so alone.
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am a 40 y/o married mother of two (ages 5, 3). I am home with my children during the day and work part-time evenings a few days a week.
- About my Loss:
- I lost my beloved step-father on July 24, 2009 and feel like I have not even begun to grieve because I have been so focused on helping my children with their grief (which is substantial). He began to have pain in his right shoulder in June, and an MRI in July showed metastatic cancer (bones, brain, lungs). There was nothing that could be done, so we called hospice in and he passed two weeks later. It was all so fast that it still doesn't seem real. He has always been a part of my life, since I was about 10, and he was the father I always wanted (my own father was a verbally, emotionally, sexually abusive, alcoholic).
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How do I post a profile photo?
I have been able to upload photos, but I can't seem to add one as my profile photo. Can anyone help?
Posted on January 23, 2010 at 8:46pm — 1 Comment
I am new here and am not sure what to do to get started
Hi everyone,
I am trying to figure this out. I am new to this site, but not new to online support groups. They all seem to be a bit different.
I am reeling from the holidays and all the emotions I'm feeling. I lost my stepfather in July to cancer, which was diagnosed only two weeks before he passed. In hindsight, there were signs that we all missed to tip us off that something was wrong, but we just took his word that his cough was just his 'sinus crap'.
His death came so fast that it seems li… Continue
I am trying to figure this out. I am new to this site, but not new to online support groups. They all seem to be a bit different.
I am reeling from the holidays and all the emotions I'm feeling. I lost my stepfather in July to cancer, which was diagnosed only two weeks before he passed. In hindsight, there were signs that we all missed to tip us off that something was wrong, but we just took his word that his cough was just his 'sinus crap'.
His death came so fast that it seems li… Continue
Posted on January 1, 2010 at 7:48pm —
Comment Wall (3 comments)
- At 8:57pm on January 23, 2010,
beverly ann hurst said…
- I'm sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She was 59.She died from conjestive heart failure.I know what you're going through.I new to this group can you plz tell me how to invite friends?
- At 1:35pm on January 12, 2010,
tina said…
- Hello.
My Name is Tina I was impressed when i saw your profile at onlinegriefsupport.com and i will like you to email me back to my inbox so that i can send you my picture for you to know who i am.i believe we can establish a long lasting relationship with you.
In addition,i will like you to reply me through my
private e mail box (tina.hakam@yahoo.com) for more introduction
Thanks,waiting to hear from you soonest.
Tina.
Please write to my inbox so that i can send you my picture.
- At 4:04am on January 2, 2010,
Courtney Rice said…
- Of course a step dad counts! Everyone counts! He was your dad...I was adopted, and he was my dad. The pain is the same, You've lost a parent.
Don't kick yourself about not seeing it coming. It does no good. My dad died rather suddenly, But my husband, mom and I all failed to read the signs for what they were. I missed the signs related to my best friend since childhood. I misread the signs involved in the loss that brought me to this site. If I could not see warnings after so many previous experiences, how could you possibly? And if you focus on that, it will only serve to cause you pain that you don't deserve.
I'm sure your step dad would not want that for you. Focus on the love he brought into your life. Be thankful for every moment you had him. That is what he would want for you. The one's who truly love us, don't want us to be in this pain. Of course, it's that same love that causes it. Though this all seems so permanent, it's an illusion. We will be with our loved ones again. And they are with us, every time we think of them with love.
Courtney
Groups
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
112 members
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I love my Dad.
98 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
83 members
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Missing my Son or Daug…
72 members
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I miss my Mom!
72 members
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Multiple Losses Group
49 members
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I Miss My Parent(s)
33 members
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Tattoo Memorial
33 members
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Lost Without My Mom
25 members
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mY sOuLmAtE, mY bEsTfRiE…
24 members
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Caylee Marie Anthony
19 members
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for loved ones who have…
16 members
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Orphaned Adults
16 members
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Losing a Sister
11 members
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When will the ache subsi…
9 members
Latest Activity
Dear Connie: My heart goes out to you. I lost my Daddy May 7, 2010, just 8 weeks after my younger brother died unexpectedly. My Daddy & I also had some bumps in our relationship through the years. He was 84 years old, but I wasn't ready yet. I won't…
It's only been 2 weeks for me so I may not be going about this in the "right" way but if it is just a cashier or waitress or somone I dont know and will probably never see again I just say "Fine.. thank you". because I dont know them and if I try to…
Dear Connie, what you are feeling is typical. you are covered in grief and a million thoughts and emotions are drowning you. You don't know what end is up and total confusion is normal. I was in the same boat, my father passed away March 4 unexpecte…
Hello Everyone, I just found and joined this website earlier tonight in the middle of a bad crying spell that went on most of this afternoon. My father passed away a month ago yesterday from a heart attack. He went into the bedroom to change into…
For everyone that has lost their Dad.
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Useful Links
How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
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Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
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Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
The Gift That Freed Me To Give
A significant lesson for me has been understanding and accepting that our greatest gains often come through experiences in our lives that may be extremely painful. My father, Raphel Orval Beason, died less than four months before I was born at the age of 19 in an explosion at the Port Chicago U.S. Navy arsenal near Oakland, Calif. He was among 320 men killed on July 17, 1944, when two merchant ships blew next to...The loss of a son
Mother's Day will always be the anniversary of my son's death, no matter what date it falls on. May 9, 2010, the day I lost a piece of my heart. I have vivid memories of that day but they are brief glimpses only. He called that morning to tell me Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you! I remember being 250 miles away from my home, my other child and my family. I don't know...Try tapping, it works wonders...
I don't often recommend specific methods to help with grief. But the self-help method I'm going to tell you about - EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques - is well worth making an exception for. Basically, it involves tapping on the acupuncture points to tap into your body's own energy and healing power. If you think that sounds a little far-fetched and woo-woo, so did I. In fact, I starting doing EFT on myself for chronic...Daughter of Suicide
It has been 22 and a half years since my mother’s suicide in October 1987. I look at that number – 22 – and it startles me. It’s hard to believe that I have lived more of my life without my mother, than with her. During those first 10 years after her death I carried the heavy load of her suicide every waking moment. I struggled with my own depression and feelings of abandonment and...8 practical ways to help a grieving family
When a friend or family member experiences the death of a loved one, we quickly offer our condolences and help. Listed here are eight practical suggestions for helping a friend or family member that has just suffered a loss. 1. Offer to answer the telephone or answer emails at the family's home. Telephone calls and email can take up a considerable amount of time. Take messages and give information to friends and family. 2. Volunteer...Badge
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